5 Signs You're in a Bad Relationship

Are you dating a narcissist? Master Manipulator? Emotional Terrorist? Here are some signs that you are in a bad relationship. I was told these signs a million times by people over the past years, and I pushed them back saying “he isn’t abusive things aren’t that bad, he doesn’t hit me.” If you find that you are doing this and minimizing the abuse maybe you need to take a step back and honestly evaluate your relationship. So here is a list of 4 things to watch out for and can show you that maybe it’s time to move on from this relationship.

1.  He Controls everything.

And it starts with your activities together it’s with his friends, his hobbies, and it’s all in his time; the activities you want to do never seem to work out. He isolates you from your family; you don’t see them as often as you did. Soon you start making up excuses to the people you love on why you never see them and why he never comes to you. He sabotages your friendships making you think that you choose to get rid of your friends.  Then control goes on steroids, and you start working from home, you no longer have a car, and when you leave the house, he is texting and calling wondering who you are with and how long you will be.  Soon he controls the money, and you no longer have your own, even though you work for it. Now don’t get me started with the sex because that’s going to be controlled too. It will be his choice on his time and his way. You will be left unsatisfied and unfulfilled with life and the relationship and when you complain he will make you feel like everything wrong in the relationship is your fault. Like I said before he is in control of everything, so he is going to control the blame.  This is manipulation at its finest, and it will make you think you are crazy. Take a second and stay grounded; it takes two to tango so don’t think the bad relationship is all your fault.

2.  History of past Abuse.

How does your partner talk about his ex’s? Does he refer to them as crazy? When he talks about who he dated, did it end badly with each one?  You better think twice about being with someone that talks that way. There is a common denominator, and I don’t think it’s that he only finds crazy women to date. A strong, grounded, mature person doesn’t have to label someone as something to protect their ego. A man that has integrity can date remain friendly after it’s over. Listen to the ghosts of his past, they are telling you exactly who he is, and someone like this doesn’t find crazies he creates crazies.

3.  The giving and taking are not the same.

In a bad relationship, there will always be one person that is the taker and the other the giver. That’s how you have been able to stay with him so long but also the reason that you’re feeling drained. You’re giving everything and doing everything, and he will give you enough to keep you around.

4.  The game of emotional abuse: belittling and stonewalling.

Does he tell you things that are physically wrong with your body? Does he always fail to celebrate your successes? Does he stand up for you with friends or family? Does he call you his doormat? Then when you get upset (because these are all hurtful things), he then ignores you till you apologize for getting angry? This is all in the plan because if you think you aren’t enough for him, you get so low that you get to thinking you can’t live without him. You will bend over backward doing anything he wants to keep him around. No one deserves to be a doormat, close that door immediately and open another that will lift up the doormat, dust it off and treat you like the amazing woman you are.

5.  Cycle of abuse

Another reason you stay because when it is good, it’s SO GOOD. I remember crying after my ex, and I bought a house together, and we saged it and talked about all the positive things that were going to happen in the house. Well for once we did an activity I wanted to do.  And it was fun, happy, and he was all in and paying 100% attention to me. The high of things going well never lasts. Eventually, the honeymoon stage is over, and the cycle begins again. He will belittle, Stonewall or flat out choose anything or anyone over you; you then get upset and then you’re called crazy. Meanwhile, you think it’s your fault and stay because you  THINK you can learn not to be crazy. But in reality, you aren’t crazy, and anyone that gets belittled, stonewalled and flat out chosen last would be upset. You are Normal; You will find a reasonable person to love, and you will be fulfilled and completely healthy.

So if you can relate to this list and you think your relationship is very similar, Please Go! You’re beautiful, smart, strong, and even though you have been conditioned to think otherwise and even though it will be the hardest thing you have ever done; do it. He will never change, and you will stay unfulfilled and drained. You can have a best friend as a partner, someone that’s excited to see you. I remained in an abusive relationship for almost ten years, in the end after I changed my bad habits and worked on myself and came to find it still was not working because he didn’t want it too. I tried to leave three times before I did. It was the hardest thing I ever did. Now that it’s all over and I’ve been with an amazing man I have the relationship that mirrors my parents. I am so glad I did it. It took a long time to get here, and I’m so proud to be where I am and be who I am. We are both in love with each other and will do anything to make sure each other are happy. I didn’t think this existed, and I didn’t think a relationship could be natural, and it is.

Thanks for coming to the party today, I’m sorry it feels like such a downer, but it does end well. This story has ended happily ever after for me, and I hope this post helps change someone’s nightmare into a fairytale. Life is too short, and we only regret the things we never did. You won’t regret living a more fulfilled life and leaving the draining relationship. Let me know if you liked the post or it helped you in some way by commenting and sharing.

XOXO

5 Topics Couples Don’t Discuss Until It’s Too Late

Murphy’s Law teaches us one thing: if something can go wrong, it will. That’s why couples should talk through the tough topics before they become issues. Marriage is like building a fortress—its strength depends on how well you lay the foundation. A little prevention can go a long way in sparing you from sleepless nights, big fights, and avoidable heartache. Here are five conversations you should definitely have before you walk down the aisle.

1. Finances and Money Management

Love may be blind, but it still needs a budget.

Falling in love is beautiful and, let’s be honest, often irrational. No one starts planning a life together thinking about joint bank accounts or investment strategies—but you should. Financial conversations can feel uncomfortable, but they’re essential.

Discuss things like:

• Who pays for what?

• Do you save or spend?

• How will you handle debt or big purchases?

Long-term financial planning builds trust and clarity. And the fewer financial surprises, the more you’ll enjoy your life together.

2. Sex Life Expectations

Let’s talk about sex—really talk about it.

Sure, in the honeymoon phase, everything feels spicy and effortless. But over time, sex lives change. If you never discuss expectations around intimacy—how often, preferences, boundaries—you risk miscommunication and emotional distance.

Sexual connection can fluctuate, and that’s okay. What matters is having the openness to talk about it before you start feeling rejected or confused.

3. Spirituality and Belief Systems

Faith—or lack of it—can create conflict if you don’t plan ahead.

Maybe one of you is spiritual and the other is not. That might work perfectly fine until decisions about holidays, rituals, or raising children come up. If you don’t align, or at least respect each other’s values and find common ground, resentment can build.

Be honest: What values are non-negotiable? What are you willing to compromise on? When it comes to parenting, can you both respect duality, or is that a dealbreaker?

4. Career Goals and Timing for Kids

You can’t fast-track biology, but you can align on timing.

Marriage in today’s world often means two people chasing big goals. But if one of you wants to travel the world or go to grad school, while the other wants to start a family ASAP—you’re on two different timelines.

Have real conversations about:

• Career priorities

• Timeline for children (or not)

• Flexibility and compromise

Being honest about goals helps prevent resentment—and keeps you moving forward as a team.

5. In-Laws and Outside Influence

Your marriage should be built for two—not a crowd.

Unfortunately, some people don’t leave their parents emotionally. It’s important to discuss how much influence in-laws, friends, or others should have in your marriage.

Healthy boundaries early on will save you major stress later. Your decisions, your rules. Just make sure you’re both on the same page before the opinions start rolling in.

Final Thought

There are plenty of topics worth discussing before marriage—but these five are a solid place to start. Talk early, talk often, and talk honestly. Your future self will thank you.

10 Ways You Know You're in a Good Relationship

As you all know I am a relationship know-it-all, I can look at any couple and tell you how long they will last. If you believe this statement, then you are a fool. I am no expert, but I have had my heart broken and stepped on like the doormat. But I learn from my mistakes I can tell some definite signs that you are in a good relationship and since I'm in one, I can live to tell the tell. Here they are...

1. You are physically and mentally healthier.

   I have always struggled with my weight and my analytical mind. I have come to find that this amazing, handsome specimen calms my fears and pumps me up. I am in the best shape of my life and have a healthier, mind, body and soul.

2. No more "I can't" or "I won't."

   It hit me one day that I have to get to know myself again; I am no longer living in a bubble scared to go outside. I am in a relationship that has expanded my horizons.  In the past, I thought I was too dumb to do some of  the things that I am doing now. It's an amazing feeling to have someone that runs with you instead of holding you back. When you're with someone that speaks positively about you and to you, it helps change yourself talk to be more positive. The world unlocks itself when you take I can't, or I won't get out of your vocabulary.

3. Your goals are getting achieved.

   Firstly my goals are a lot higher or harder to reach, and I achieve them. I am with someone that is a go-getter, and he helps me with my goals, and we even have goals as a couple. We have a life that we are working towards achieving and it’s a great feeling to have someone that is growing with you.

4. Life is easier.

   I use to get so frustrated with things not working out, I've come to find that my man makes me laugh at these moments. He sees me for the imperfect person I am, and I don't feel stupid or ashamed; I feel heard and understood. Life gets a lot easier when you're laughing through the mistakes and failures as well as the good times.

5. The giving and the taking feels natural and equal.

   There might be days where I don't do as much around the house, and my man does the dishes and wipes the counters. We are are not counting who did what, we are picking up where the other left off; we are a team.

6. Less fighting more laughing.

   We hardly fight, I think we can we have fought once. I'm not saying that your relationship isn't good because you fight. We have been through some pretty stressful situations, and somehow we don't fight, it's just us. When one of us is upset or says something or does something snappy we call each other out on it and the person apologizing, and we move forward. It's not about the lack of fighting but about how you move forward when you do.

7. Honesty is the best policy.

   We always tell each other the truth, the brutal truth which sometimes means like I said in number 6 that you get called out. It might sting a little, but I would rather have a partner that helps me grow and be better than someone that keeps me stagnant just to save my feelings.

8. No secrets.

   You keep one secret from your partner and the secrets turn into the book of secrets, and soon it's what's keeping you from being honest with your partner. We made a rule always to tell the truth and say it as nicely as you can. Some things should only be between you and your partner and when you have that be sacred your relationship will follow. I will not let anyone or anything come in the way of my partner and me; he is the most important being. His secrets are my secrets, and that's what has brought us closer together.

9. Hours of talking and the honeymoon stage has ended.

   My man and I miss some important moments in our lives because we are too busy talking. We missed the Eiffel Tower lit up at night because we were chatty Kathy's in the hotel room. We are always late to meet friends because caught up in some conversation. We have been dating two years soon, and we still talk like we have just met. We talk about everything under the sun, and it's weird because we are with each other 24/7 together.  It also makes talking about hard things easier; we talk to understand not to respond.

10. Never stop choosing your partner first.

    I think this is the most important thing; your relationship will never work out if you don't put your partner first. I have had to tell myself "This person is my family and no one else matters." you start choosing your hobby or friends over the person and you might as well just wave your relationship goodbye. I'm not saying you can't see your friends, but everything comes in balance.

I hope your relationship is as good as mine and I'd love to keep adding to this list so comment below on what you think makes a good relationship.

Follow me on Facebook at Heidi Mae Searle

And Instagram @heidimaesearle

XOXO

Online Dating - You're Doing It Wrong

Smartphones and apps have opened the floodgates of free online dating. And why not? You can meet lots of interesting people online - more than you'll meet in a loud, smoky bar. You can filter them to make sure their age, appearance, background, and interests are compatible with yours. And it's fun. Research firm GlobalWebIndex reported in 2015 that 91 million people are using apps like Tinder. Why not? Tinder has millions and millions of users. Surely the person you're looking for has an account.

NEEDLE, MEET HAYSTACK

Maybe so. But Tinder's strength - that it is so widely used - is also its weakness. You're not looking to date millions of people. You're looking to find a particular someone.

General-purpose apps and dating websites try to convince you that having lots of members is a benefit. But in most cases, such sites are a waste of time. (That's one reason their customer ratings are so low.)

Suppose you’re interested solely in guys with beards. Or maybe someone who shares your religious background. A general-purpose dating app may let you set filters so you see only members who match your criteria.

But that doesn’t mean you’ll find lots of them. Like you, people in niche categories find general-interest dating sites and apps frustrating, inefficient, and boring. So you don’t find them there.

A MATTER OF FOCUS

Luckily, savvy website operators have created specialized dating sites for people with particular interests. You can now find a website to help you connect with guys with beards, or fellow Catholics, or big beautiful women, or guys with children, or women with tattoos, or married people interested in discreet relationships, or...well, you name it!

A niche dating site is more efficient because you don't have to wade through the profiles of lots of people who don't match your interests. Better yet, such a site is a community of people who share your attraction. You'll enjoy a real sense of community at a niche site. You can pick up useful online dating tips, chat with like-minded singles, and compare experiences.

A niche site attracts precisely the people you are looking for. And because it rewards their searches with qualified potential partners, they stay active. They tell their friends. The site becomes more and more useful over time.

Best of all, you can be sure that you'll find just the kind of dating partner you're looking for.

Let other singles waste their time swiping left and swiping right on Tinder. You're better off with a niche dating website where you can meet exactly who you're looking for.

Contributed by Dating VIP

No One Wants to Hear about a Happy Relationship

“No one wants to hear about a happy relationship.”

That’s what the Comedian said after finishing a bit on stage. He always runs his jokes by me first—asking if it’s okay to use certain stories. Honestly? I don’t mind. I know most of it is an exaggerated version of our reality. Once, a woman pulled me aside after a show and said, “You don’t have to let him talk about you like that.” But sincerely, I’m okay with it. I’ve gotten used to being the butt of 90% of his jokes.

Happy Relationship, wedding, wedding photos, downtown orlando, grand bohemian, downtown orlando, bride

Comedians talk about what they know. And if they spend most of their lives with you, you're going to make it into their material. I usually just laugh and say, “I signed up for this when I decided to date a comedian.”

It’s not unlike being a dating blogger. For years, I wrote about my latest heartbreaks, bad dates, and cringe-worthy red flags. Now that I’m in a happy marriage, I find myself scrambling for “good material.” Because let’s be real—no one wants to read about a healthy, functional relationship, right?

Maybe that’s the problem. We love drama. We binge-watch reality TV to make ourselves feel better by comparison. If someone rich and beautiful is falling apart on camera, we feel like we’re doing okay. But lately, people have been coming up to us and asking, “How’s married life?”

And truthfully? It’s great. Nothing has changed. We’re still just two creative souls figuring life out together. He’s the guy who can make you laugh until you cry and then pivot to a deep conversation about society’s evolution. I didn’t even know that kind of balance in a partner existed—but it does. And I’m lucky.

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Someone once told me, “Enjoy this time, because you never know when things will change.” And she’s right. I’ve seen friends weather storms in their marriages. But the strong ones—the ones who truly get each other—find their way back. I admire that so much.

During his vows, the Comedian said that you need someone who grows with you and pushes you to be your best self. And that stuck with me. So here’s my challenge: talk about your happy relationship. Share it. Let people know that healthy love exists. Maybe it’ll make the search feel a little less impossible.

P.S. Our wedding video is out. I hope you enjoy it as much as we do!
🎥 Watch it here

The Truth to Matchmaking

Every time I meet one of The Comedian’s guy friends, I get asked the same question: “Do you have any single girlfriends?” The answer is yes, I do—but whether I think they’re a good match is an entirely different story. Matchmaking is not just some casual hobby—it’s practically a science. You can’t just toss two single people together and expect magic. The Comedian swears I have a matchmaking addiction, and maybe he’s right. I love love. I want people to experience it as deeply as I do. But, spoiler alert: it’s not always that simple.

happy couple

I’ve definitely learned the hard way. Sometimes, people aren’t ready for a relationship. Other times, they just don’t want one. I remember recently talking with a friend about setting her up with someone I knew—a great catch, but living in another state. What I didn’t share was that he had zero interest in being in a relationship. Lesson learned: don’t force a romantic vision on someone who hasn’t asked for it.

When matchmaking does work, it’s usually because both people are open and ready. I once met a guy when I was single, and while there was no romantic chemistry between us, he described exactly what he was looking for. Immediately, I thought of someone who matched his criteria to a T. I brought him to a place where I knew she’d be—and five years later, they’re still together.

There’s also this: some people say they want love but haven’t done the work to be ready for it. That’s a hard truth to swallow. I always say, “You can’t be happy with someone else if you’re not happy with yourself.” I kissed a lot of frogs before I found my prince. The wild thing is, most of those frogs are still single—and not because they’re unlucky. It’s because they haven’t grown.

What drove me crazy when I was single was how inconsiderate some men were with time. If you make plans, show up—or at the very least, cancel. Basic decency, right? Some guys are just cowards. (Yeah, I said it.)

I see some of my girlfriends struggling with dating, and I get it—it’s brutal out there. But if you love yourself, exude confidence, and respect the feelings of others, you’re already ahead of the game. One of my go-to lines:

“You have to be the person you want to be in a relationship before you’re in a relationship.”

If you’re out partying three nights a week, fine—but consider how someone seeking real commitment might perceive that. A real partner wants peace, not pettiness. He’s not looking for someone to spiral because he forgot the anniversary of your first kiss.

Matchmaking isn’t just about chemistry—it’s about timing, emotional readiness, and intention. Love deserves thought. Always.

My Rattled Psyche

My psyche has been on a roller coaster lately—rattled, stretched, and occasionally flung upside down. Wedding planning, as it turns out, isn’t just about picking colors or tasting cake. It’s psychological warfare. One minute you’re overjoyed, and the next, you’re wondering how many more vendor calls you can take without spontaneously combusting.

Just yesterday, I was chatting with one of The Comedian’s coworkers whose daughter is also planning a wedding. She said her daughter reached the point where she simply doesn’t care anymore. And honestly? Same. I’m there. That’s my current zip code.

Relationships, advice, dating

But through all the chaos, I’ve met some truly incredible people. I’ve also discovered who’s willing to go the extra mile, and who quietly steps back. I still cherish my friends and family to the core—but I’ve had to come to terms with something difficult: You can’t save them all.

I recently had a conversation that reminded me why I care so deeply for people, even those who’ve hurt me. I’ve always had this pull to help, to reach out, to offer a hand even if it’s been slapped away before. It’s why I blog—to be the voice someone might need. Maybe some woman out there is standing at a crossroads, and she reads my story. Maybe she sees the light.

That hope keeps me writing.

I truly believe I was put on this earth to walk through certain storms so I could return with wisdom to offer someone else. Not the kind of wisdom that comes just from experience—but the kind that emerges when you choose to see your experiences as tools for growth.

It’s also why I tend to get invested in people’s relationships. I once spent an extra 30 minutes in an Uber giving the driver relationship advice. Whether or not The Comedian thought it was “appropriate,” my tipsy heart said, “Sir, you deserve clarity!”

The theme of my bachelorette cruise? Finding ourselves again. Because somewhere between the babies, the jobs, and the relationships, we forget how phenomenal we are. We forget the fire we carry. That trip reminded me: I love people. I love dancing like no one’s watching. And I love being surrounded by women who’ve lived, cried, healed, and still rise.

That’s why I feel so rattled—I had forgotten.

And now, I remember.

The truth is, wedding planning, working full-time, and navigating my freelance dreams have all taken a toll. I’m ready for the wedding to be behind me. Not because I’m not excited—I am—but because I’m ready to shift into a new season.

A season where I have time to write, time to travel, time to step into the purpose I’ve been dancing around for years. There’s a lot I can’t share yet, but just know this: change is coming, and it’s the kind of change that makes your heart beat a little faster with anticipation.

I might even go back to school. I’ve always felt called to help people in their relationships—to help them see clearly what they can’t from the inside. Sometimes all we need is one honest voice from the outside to shine a little light.

And speaking of light, this was Joel Osteen’s prayer today. I’ll leave it with you:

“Father, today I raise my level of expectancy. I choose to take the limits off of my thinking. I know that You are able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all I could ever ask, think or imagine. Thank You for the blessing You have in store for me in Jesus’ name! Amen.”

Here’s to rising. To realigning. To remembering who you are.

finding yourself, relationships, relationship advice

5 Ways to Boost Your Confidence (Even on the Tough Days)

Being a strong woman in a world that’s constantly trying to dim your light can be exhausting. I literally just finished reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert—after putting it off for ages and watching the movie at least 500 times—and her story left me inspired. Especially her time in India, which helped her reclaim her confidence.

It’s easy to forget how beautiful, smart, sassy, and downright unstoppable we are. So on those days when you’re feeling just a bit “meh,” here are five ways to pick yourself up and remind the world exactly who you are.

1. Dress the Way You Want to Feel

It’s wild what clothes can do for our self-esteem. Ever looked in the mirror and said, “Damn, I look good”? You can feel like that every day.

You’ve heard it before:

“Dress for the job you want.”

Well, dress for the mood you want to. Want to feel sexy? Rock that lace thong that makes you feel like a total vixen. Need to own the day? Slip on your favorite power suit. What you wear on the outside can shift everything on the inside.

2. Drop the Negativity

Negativity is sneaky. Sometimes it comes disguised as friends, gossip, or “just venting.” And yes, it’s easy to get sucked in—hello, reality TV addiction—but it’s toxic to your confidence.

Here’s a little truth bomb: some people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. If their season has ended and they’re dragging you down, it’s time to lovingly let go. Confidence starts with you, not what they think of you.

3. Talk to Yourself (In a Good Way)

Yes, I mean it—talk to yourself in the mirror. Find a mantra and say it daily. Something like:

“I am beautiful, and no one is going to dim my shine today.”

Or…

“I am a force, and today is mine to own.”

At first, it may feel silly. But self-talk is powerful. Say it until you believe it. And if you don’t believe it? Say it again. And again.

4. Move That Body

You don’t need a gym membership—just move. Dance in your kitchen, go for a walk, do a quick YouTube workout. Exercise releases endorphins, those magical chemicals that make you feel good (think baby laughter, but internal).

And beyond that, it gives you more energy, a better mood, and a serious glow-up in the confidence department.

5. Surround Yourself with Positivity

You are the company you keep. Hang with people who challenge you, uplift you, and believe in your greatness. I’ve been blessed with incredible friends who inspire me every time we’re together—smart, strong, and endlessly supportive.

Yes, it took a while to clear the toxic energy, but it was worth every bit of that journey. Find a mentor, lean into your tribe, and watch your confidence soar.

One final thought: these are tips, not a cure. If you’re experiencing depression, please seek help. As someone who’s been there, I know it’s not easy to get out of your own way. You don’t have to go it alone.

So stay sassy, stay confident, and never forget:
You are the most beautiful woman in the world.

Friends, confidence

You're Going to Rue the Day… You Started My Dream

I’ll be completely transparent: I was let go from my 9–5 job on Monday. Most people would expect me to spiral—cue the dramatic thoughts: “Oh no! What am I going to do?” or “I can’t believe that horrible b**ch let me go. She’s going to rue the day she made that decision!”

But truthfully? I don’t feel that way at all.

Instead, I feel like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Prayer is a powerful thing—believe that however you will. I hadn’t prayed in a while, but Monday morning I broke the silence. I simply asked, “God, show me where my path to living a dream will take me.”
By that afternoon? Boom. I was let go.

Was it abrupt? Yes. Was the relationship working? Not really. But deep down, I knew I had been using that job as a crutch—an excuse not to pursue what truly sets my soul on fire: writing.

Since I was a little girl, I’ve dreamed of being a writer. For a long time, I thought that meant becoming a journalist. But once I realized that would involve telling other people’s stories in a rigid format, I lost interest. I wanted to write my stories. Raw, vulnerable, unfiltered. I wanted to speak truth—not conform.

But instead of chasing that dream, I did what so many of us do: I got a “real” job. I traded my calling for a paycheck. For years.

It wasn’t until 2011—post-heartbreak, searching for purpose—that I picked up the pen again. Someone told me I had talent. And in that moment, I remembered who I was. I remembered the little girl who felt most alive when she was writing.

The rest unfolded from there.

I dipped my toes into freelance work. I told pieces of my story. And now here I am: jobless, terrified, but finally pursuing my passion full-time.

This leap would not be possible without the unwavering support of the Comedian—my partner in creativity, in dreaming, in believing that we were meant to make things. He reminds me often that we weren’t put on this earth to just exist—we were made to create.

Am I still scared? Absolutely. The fear of the unknown is real. But so is my faith.

Today I read a piece on Addicted2Success.com about stepping through fear—and it hit me hard. I’ve been avoiding the very thing I now feel called to: uncertainty. But the truth is, I wasn’t made for the clock-in, clock-out life. I wasn’t built to spend 40 hours a week chasing someone else’s dream. I was made for this.

And even though I don’t know exactly what “this” looks like yet, I know it’s mine.

So no, I’m not bitter. I’m not resentful. If anything, I’m grateful—because that woman didn’t just let me go. She set me free.

6 Points of Love in the Beginning

dinner-date

I’ve been doing some reading today and it sparked a few thoughts about love and relationships. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs, but through it all, I’ve realized how precious life—and love—really is. Below are six lessons I’ve picked up along the way, both before and during my current relationship. Themes I’ve revisited in past blogs, but somehow they still feel just as fresh.

1. Love Comes When You Least Expect It

This one is so real. Every relationship I’ve had showed up when I wasn’t even looking. And when I did try to chase it down, it usually ended in me questioning my own worth. The love I’m in now? Completely unexpected—and completely right. It’s funny how sometimes you leave an imprint on someone’s heart and they circle back when they realize how special that was.

2. Be Patient

I’ve wrestled with abandonment issues for a long time. The anxiety of waiting on a reply or wondering where someone is used to eat me up. Like many women, I overanalyzed and panicked—even when the guy was just taking a nap. With time, I learned to sit with those feelings, understand them, and not let them take over. Insecurity is loud. But confidence in your own growth? That’s peace.

3. Stay Busy

I can’t say this enough—don’t lose yourself in someone else. Keep your life full. Nurture your friendships. Pick up a hobby (writing’s been mine). In the early days of a relationship, it's so easy to fall into "let’s spend every second together" mode. But if you keep doing you, it makes integrating your partner into your life that much smoother—and healthier.

4. Men Are Simple

Seriously. When they like you, they’ll show it. When they don’t, they act weird and confusing. Trust and honesty are non-negotiables. If you can’t trust him, what’s the point? And yes, a woman’s intuition is everything. Don’t confuse insecurity with instinct—there’s a difference. One is rooted in fear, the other in truth.

5. Don’t Try to Change Him

Let me repeat that: you cannot change him. If you find yourself making excuses or constantly explaining away bad behavior, that’s your sign. I’ve seen it play out too many times with friends (and in my own life). You want someone who helps you grow, not someone who keeps you stuck. You can’t fix broken—especially if it’s not your job to fix it in the first place.

6. Your Partner Should Be Your Best Friend

You should be able to be your weird, wonderful self around them. The Comedian makes me laugh even in the hardest moments, and he’s also there when I need to fall apart a little. We don’t share everything (I mean, he doesn’t need the play-by-play of my favorite reality show), but he’s my safe space—and that means everything.

At the end of the day, every relationship is different. But here’s what I know for sure: you’re the only one responsible for your happiness. If you’re not happy with yourself, no one else can fill that gap. So love yourself first—and let the rest follow.