6 Points of Love in the Beginning

dinner-date

I’ve been doing some reading today and it sparked a few thoughts about love and relationships. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs, but through it all, I’ve realized how precious life—and love—really is. Below are six lessons I’ve picked up along the way, both before and during my current relationship. Themes I’ve revisited in past blogs, but somehow they still feel just as fresh.

1. Love Comes When You Least Expect It

This one is so real. Every relationship I’ve had showed up when I wasn’t even looking. And when I did try to chase it down, it usually ended in me questioning my own worth. The love I’m in now? Completely unexpected—and completely right. It’s funny how sometimes you leave an imprint on someone’s heart and they circle back when they realize how special that was.

2. Be Patient

I’ve wrestled with abandonment issues for a long time. The anxiety of waiting on a reply or wondering where someone is used to eat me up. Like many women, I overanalyzed and panicked—even when the guy was just taking a nap. With time, I learned to sit with those feelings, understand them, and not let them take over. Insecurity is loud. But confidence in your own growth? That’s peace.

3. Stay Busy

I can’t say this enough—don’t lose yourself in someone else. Keep your life full. Nurture your friendships. Pick up a hobby (writing’s been mine). In the early days of a relationship, it's so easy to fall into "let’s spend every second together" mode. But if you keep doing you, it makes integrating your partner into your life that much smoother—and healthier.

4. Men Are Simple

Seriously. When they like you, they’ll show it. When they don’t, they act weird and confusing. Trust and honesty are non-negotiables. If you can’t trust him, what’s the point? And yes, a woman’s intuition is everything. Don’t confuse insecurity with instinct—there’s a difference. One is rooted in fear, the other in truth.

5. Don’t Try to Change Him

Let me repeat that: you cannot change him. If you find yourself making excuses or constantly explaining away bad behavior, that’s your sign. I’ve seen it play out too many times with friends (and in my own life). You want someone who helps you grow, not someone who keeps you stuck. You can’t fix broken—especially if it’s not your job to fix it in the first place.

6. Your Partner Should Be Your Best Friend

You should be able to be your weird, wonderful self around them. The Comedian makes me laugh even in the hardest moments, and he’s also there when I need to fall apart a little. We don’t share everything (I mean, he doesn’t need the play-by-play of my favorite reality show), but he’s my safe space—and that means everything.

At the end of the day, every relationship is different. But here’s what I know for sure: you’re the only one responsible for your happiness. If you’re not happy with yourself, no one else can fill that gap. So love yourself first—and let the rest follow.

Daddy’s Little Girl… I Think

One of the biggest things I struggled with in my 20s was abandonment. I was talking to a friend recently about my relationship with my father and how things have shifted over the past few years.

Growing up, my dad and I were never especially close. He was in the Army most of my life, always working or traveling. When I was about 11, he went to Panama on business and, essentially, never moved back home. My parents divorced right before I turned 14. After that, he’d check in now and then or send money for school, but he wasn’t really there. And even though he had always been distant, I still felt this deep need to impress him. I worked hard in school, hoping for some kind of approval. But once he left, that drive started to fade. I did well in high school, but once I got to college, everything changed. I struggled in ways I hadn’t before—and not having my dad around definitely didn’t help.

When people think about “daddy issues,” they usually imagine two extremes: either someone who’s overly promiscuous and afraid of commitment, or someone who jumps from relationship to relationship trying to fill that void. I won’t say exactly where I fell on that spectrum, but I will say this: I was terrified of commitment for a long time. I self-sabotaged more than once with men who genuinely cared for me. It was like I was preparing myself for them to leave—because that’s what I knew.

At one point in my late 20s, I had completely resigned to the idea of being alone. It felt easier. No one could get close enough to hurt me, and I convinced myself that I was content.

Then I met someone who saw right through me. She made it her mission to figure me out, and in doing so, helped me recognize the patterns and fears I’d built around relationships. I’d had close friends in college who supported me through hard times, but this was different. She saw the deeper layers and called them out with compassion. Her friendship helped me get more comfortable with emotional closeness.

About three years ago, out of nowhere, my father came back into my life. He started emailing me almost daily, calling every week. It was surreal. After so much time apart, I had to learn how to let him back in. And as strange as it sounds, his presence started easing the weight I’d carried for so long. My abandonment issues didn’t just disappear, but they loosened their grip.

There were still moments where I’d fall into old feelings—but overall, having him back made a huge difference. Then, in February of this year, something shifted even deeper when I started going to church. I felt a conviction stirring in me. I knew I had to forgive my father—not just for his absence, but for the space he left in me that I didn’t know how to fill.

Since then, I’ve felt lighter. And I’m so grateful he’s in my life again. The more we talk, the more I see myself in him—his sarcasm, his outgoing nature. He tells me stories about how I was his little baby, and it melts me. It’s healing to know he loved me all along, even if he didn’t always show it in ways I needed.

At the end of the day, that’s what matters—not the past, not the uncertainty of the future, but this moment. Right now, my dad is present. He’s a part of my life in a way I never expected. And forgiving him—along with anyone else who’s hurt me—was the best gift I could give myself.

If you’re looking for change, sometimes all it takes is a prayer. God has a plan. And I know mine is unfolding in a beautiful way.

Is This Your Reality?

Yet another conversation with the Comedian sparked today’s reflection. One of the most beautiful things in a relationship is when your conversations ignite creativity and self-awareness. Lately, we’ve been talking a lot about “other people’s realities.” It’s a tricky concept to explain, but when you start living consciously and staying present, the noise of gossip and drama just doesn’t hit the same. You start to see how much time and energy people give to things that don’t actually matter.

I’ll admit, there have been moments when I let someone else’s reality throw me off—when their negativity or judgment distracted me from my peace. But I’ve learned that when toxic energy interrupts your joy, the goal isn’t to fight it. It’s to gently guide yourself back to the beauty of the moment.

I’m reminded of something I heard in The Secret: if you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, you might feel like the whole day is ruined. But in reality, you have the power to change that energy at any time. You can shift your mood, reset your perspective, and reclaim your day. You are in charge of your emotions and your environment—including the people you choose to keep close.

In The 4-Hour Work Week, Timothy Ferriss says that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. That hit home for me. It’s taken time, but I can honestly say that the people closest to me now reflect the values I cherish: growth, peace, and authenticity.

Everyone lives in their own reality. You can’t change theirs—but you can shape your own. You can choose to live in alignment with the person you want to become.

This past Sunday, Joel Osteen said something that stuck with me:
“Nothing you have done has canceled your destiny.”
God still has a plan for you—it’s your choice whether or not to listen.

As for me, I choose to keep walking this path of positive enlightenment.
What about you?

Contrasting Mistakes: Choosing Integrity in a World Full of Excuses

This past Sunday, the Comedian and I went to church, as we try to do as often as possible. Our usual pastor was on vacation, so another stepped in—and I’ve grown fond of this particular one because he always makes his sermons relatable.

He opened by talking about old-school TVs with the dials. Remember those? You had to stand up to change the channel—or, in my case, my parents made me do it. He mentioned the dial labeled “contrast,” and asked something that stuck with me: How do we stand out? How do we show contrast as Christians, as people?

As the sermon went on, I found myself leaning in, curious about where he was going. Then he touched on something that lit a spark in me: moral responsibility.

It reminded me of something I wrote in my earlier post Is Divorce an Option?—how society has gotten comfortable with failure, brushing it off like it’s no big deal. “We’re only human,” we say. Mistakes are just part of life, and somehow, we’ve begun to expect them… even excuse them. People cheat, so it’s normalized. People steal, so we shrug it off. But where’s the accountability?

I do believe mistakes are part of life, but I also believe what defines a better person is how they respond to those mistakes. I have deep respect for those who don’t hide behind excuses—who simply say, “I messed up. I’m sorry.” That’s integrity. And to me, integrity is one of the most honorable traits anyone can have.

Over the years, I’ve chosen to live transparently. Lying never got me far—it just made things messier. So now I try to live by the simple truth. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.

The pastor mentioned something else that struck a nerve: how people who live “pure” or hold themselves to a higher standard are often seen as fake or even judged more harshly. Isn’t that wild? We strive to become better, more honest, more compassionate people—and yet, when someone really walks that talk, they’re often criticized instead of celebrated.

The world’s a little upside down that way. But we still have a choice. Every day.

Do we want to be transparent and accountable? Or do we want to keep hiding behind our mistakes?

The contrast is clear—what side do you want to stand on?

Happy Birthday, America! 🇺🇸

Occasions that involve the military always get me in my feelings. I’m the type who cries during the national anthem—every single time. It’s not just patriotism; it’s personal.

My dad retired as a Lieutenant Colonel in the Army and still works for the military as a civilian. I have three cousins currently serving—two in the Navy, one in the Army—and I was once engaged to someone who served in Afghanistan. So, needless to say, I have a deep respect for the sacrifices our servicemen and women make to keep us safe.

I get especially emotional when I see videos of soldiers reuniting with their families or speaking to them while deployed. That stuff hits me right in the heart. I consider myself a strong person, but those moments always bring me to tears.

Right now, I’m especially torn. One of my cousins—who is like a brother to me—is heading back to Afghanistan this month. While I know danger exists anywhere, there’s something especially heavy about someone you love being in a known war zone, where walking on the wrong path could change everything.

Growing up, I told myself I’d never date someone in the military—not because I didn’t respect them, but because I knew I couldn’t handle the lifestyle. My love language is Quality Time (read The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman if you haven’t), and I need that emotional closeness to feel connected. Being apart for months on end is something I really struggled with when my ex-fiancé deployed. I cried nearly every day that first month he was away. The constant worry? It’s a weight that never lifts.

That’s why I have so much admiration for military spouses and partners. Holding down the fort while your person is overseas is no small feat. It takes courage, strength, and endless resilience.

So, this blog is for all the brave men and women who serve, for the families who hold space for them, and for those who’ve lost loved ones in the line of duty. Your sacrifices are seen. Your strength is honored. And today, I’m praying extra hard for my cousins—one heading out soon, and two already far from home. I love you all. Come home safe. 🇺🇸❤️

Where did all of this positive thinking come from...

I believe change starts with a realization—a moment where you admit to yourself that something needs to shift. I’ve always considered myself a positive thinker, but looking back to about 8 or 9 months ago, I wasn’t truly content. Sure, I had great friends, a solid support system, and a social calendar that kept me busy, but something was missing.

Since college, I’ve dealt with bouts of depression. I always refused medication, telling myself I could push through it—and for the most part, I did. But every now and then, a trigger would send me spiraling. I remember days when I couldn’t get out of bed, when the darkness felt easier than facing the world, and all the painful things that came with it.

I don’t quite remember the exact order of events that led to my transformation, but I know it started with a rejection. I had been casually dating someone, and when it didn’t work out, I unraveled. It wasn’t the guy or the relationship that broke me—it was the feeling of abandonment. It cracked open wounds that had been quietly building.

After crying uncontrollably and struggling just to breathe, I told myself, I never want to feel this way again.

Shortly after, I went to a meeting and watched the movie The Secret. That changed everything. I started seeing the connection between my thoughts and my emotional well-being. Negative thinking had gotten me to that dark place—and I made the decision to start living differently.

I made a vision board. I wrote affirmations on index cards and kept them by my bed—reminders of the life I wanted to create. One of the cards said I wanted a long-term, prosperous relationship. Just a day or two later, I heard from someone I had dated two years prior who had made a big impact on me. The most amazing part? He, too, had read The Secret and The Power of Now. We reconnected over our shared journey toward positive thinking—and those conversations continue to this day. He is now my boyfriend of six months, and I am hopelessly in love.

A few months later, I started going to church with him. What surprised me most was how much the Bible mirrored the same ideals I had been learning. Negative thoughts? That’s the enemy trying to steal your joy. The Bible teaches gratitude, joy, and faithful thinking. I realized I could ground my positivity in something even deeper—faith.

Now, I strive to be a light for others. Whether we’re close or not, I want my energy to inspire others to believe in better days. As the amazing Janet Perez Eckles once said, “Let your purpose be to inspire.” That’s what I aim to do.

I know that as long as I stay on this path—rooted in positivity, grounded in faith—I won’t ever return to that dark place. And if I can help someone else along the way, then that, to me, is everything.

Remember When...

Don’t you remember when bills didn’t need paying and you could run barefoot through the backyard without a care in the world? When no one you loved was going through a divorce or grieving an unimaginable loss? When no one had ever harmed you—and even a butterfly landing on your shoulder felt like magic?

Remember when you’d fall asleep on the couch watching My Little Pony, only to wake up in your dad’s arms as he carried you to bed? Or when he gave you a high five for finally hitting the ball off the tee? Those were the days when life was just playtime—when Barbie and Ken were off getting married, riding their pink Corvette through your living room, and the biggest conflict was telling your sister it was your turn on the Nintendo.

But grown-up reality? It’s darker. Heavier. It can leave you feeling empty or overwhelmed, wondering Is this really it? Life becomes a series of heartbreaks, unpaid bills, funerals, cruel words, and people who disappoint. It’s easy to lose that childlike light we once carried so freely.

But here’s the truth: You don’t have to just “remember when.”

You can still be that person—the one full of wonder, joy, and hope. Yes, life leaves its bruises. The world breaks us open in ways we never asked for. But we are not powerless. Just like we once got up with scabbed knees and kept running, we can still heal and keep going.

Pray. Breathe. Laugh. Keep moving forward.

Live your life in such a way that you don’t have to cling to memories of “when.”
Because when can be right now.

Serendipity: When God Sends You Exactly Where You Need to Be

Lately, life has been full of little moments that feel… divinely timed. Since starting my relationship with God, prayer has become a regular part of my life. And truthfully, I’m not the same woman I was six months ago. I feel content in a way that’s hard to explain.

It’s almost as if I’m being placed in certain situations on purpose. I believe that’s God at work—nudging me, guiding me, showing me where I need to be.

A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to a Women of ALPFA event—a professional organization for Hispanic leaders. I said yes, thinking it would be your standard networking mixer. (Which, don’t get me wrong, is great. I’m all for putting yourself out there and making new connections.) But I had no idea what I was walking into.

After dinner and a few opening remarks, the keynote speaker took the stage. Her name was Janet Perez Eckles, and she instantly captivated the room. Blind since age 31, she went on to become a professional interpreter, motivational speaker, and a best-selling author. Her energy was electric. Her story moved me deeply—and in that moment, I felt this undeniable clarity: writing is my calling.

I’ve heard that whisper in the back of my mind for years. But that night? It shouted. That night felt like divine confirmation.

And it didn’t stop there.

Not long after, I attended another professional event—this one hosted by NSHMBA, where I serve as the Director of Marketing. After a networking icebreaker, a man approached me. He had been in my boyfriend’s group and started the conversation by complimenting him (which, honestly, melted my heart because I know he’s a good man). We got to talking, and I found out he was newly divorced and dipping his toes back into the dating world.

He was hesitant about online dating. I couldn’t help but chuckle a little—because, well, I’ve been in that space for years. I told him the truth: dating online isn’t something to fear. We’re all so busy and guarded these days that stepping into a digital space just helps you connect with others who are also serious about finding love.

As long as you meet safely and stay honest, online dating is no more risky than meeting someone at a bar or through friends. I told him, dating is always a risk. You’re putting your heart out there in hopes that maybe this will lead to something real. And sometimes, all it takes is a small conversation to shift someone’s perspective.

He thanked me before we parted ways. And I couldn’t help but think—if I hadn’t been there, maybe he wouldn’t have taken that step toward love.

Is that serendipity? Is it divine alignment? I think it’s both. I truly believe that when you pray with intention, God listens. He may not answer in flashing lights or loud voices—but He sends people, moments, nudges, signs. You just have to slow down enough to see them.