Bad Dating Habits and How to Fix Them

You’ve been on a few dates, and something’s just not clicking. You’re bringing your best self (or so you think), but you still can’t seem to get past the first or second date. Cue the terrible chick flicks (Christmas Prince, anyone?) and mint chocolate chip ice cream (yes, it’s still the best flavor).
Hate to break it to you, but... sometimes you are the problem.

Let’s talk about the most common bad dating habits—and how to kick them to the curb so you can finally find a relationship that sticks.

🚩 1. Being Too Available

I know you’re excited—he’s hot, you’re vibing, and he finally asked you out. But showing up the second he calls doesn’t leave room for anticipation. And yes, the chase matters.

Try this instead: If he asks to hang out on Friday, say, “I actually have something going on—how about Saturday?”
Now you’re showing that you have a life outside of dating, and that makes you way more appealing.

🚩 2. Not Acting Like You’re Girlfriend Material

Let me explain. If you’re known as the party girl, your place is a hot mess, and you curse like a sailor 24/7… it might be time for a little self-check.
Dating is kind of like an interview—you don’t want to fake it, but you should still put your best foot forward.

Funny story: The Comedian was never on time, but on our first few dates, he made a huge effort to be punctual because he knew I valued it. His mom later revealed his lateness was legendary—I had been bamboozled. But by then, I was in too deep. 😅

Moral of the story? Be the person you want to attract before getting into a relationship.

🚩 3. Being Too Picky

I’m all for having standards, but if you’re holding out for a Christian Grey fantasy, you might be waiting a while.

Make a list of your top 5 non-negotiables. These are the “must-haves” that truly matter to you—values, goals, lifestyle, etc. The rest? Let it go.
Need help? Download my [Dating Terms worksheet] to narrow it down.

🚩 4. Flakiness

This one’s a dealbreaker. Integrity matters. If you say you’re going to show up—show up. If something comes up, just send a quick text. It literally takes five seconds to say, “Hey, I’ve had a rough day. Can we reschedule?”

People remember how you treat their time. Flakiness is a red flag you’re not emotionally ready to date.
(If you're curious, I once dated a notorious flake. The full story’s here → link it up!)

🚩 5. Ignoring Your Insecurities

This one’s big. If you haven’t dealt with your insecurities—abandonment, body image, past trauma—they’ll creep into your dating life.

I’ve been there. I used to lie about my past and apologize constantly because I was insecure. You don’t have to carry shame for things that shaped you.

Do the work. Therapy, journaling, books—whatever helps you heal. Because when you love yourself, you stop choosing people who don’t.

💡 Final Thought

Dating isn’t just about meeting the right person. It’s about becoming someone who’s ready to receive love when it comes. When you’re grounded, self-aware, and committed to your own happiness, the right relationship shows up like magic.

Now go finish that ice cream and start fresh.

The Truth to Matchmaking

Every time I meet one of The Comedian’s guy friends, I get asked the same question: “Do you have any single girlfriends?” The answer is yes, I do—but whether I think they’re a good match is an entirely different story. Matchmaking is not just some casual hobby—it’s practically a science. You can’t just toss two single people together and expect magic. The Comedian swears I have a matchmaking addiction, and maybe he’s right. I love love. I want people to experience it as deeply as I do. But, spoiler alert: it’s not always that simple.

happy couple

I’ve definitely learned the hard way. Sometimes, people aren’t ready for a relationship. Other times, they just don’t want one. I remember recently talking with a friend about setting her up with someone I knew—a great catch, but living in another state. What I didn’t share was that he had zero interest in being in a relationship. Lesson learned: don’t force a romantic vision on someone who hasn’t asked for it.

When matchmaking does work, it’s usually because both people are open and ready. I once met a guy when I was single, and while there was no romantic chemistry between us, he described exactly what he was looking for. Immediately, I thought of someone who matched his criteria to a T. I brought him to a place where I knew she’d be—and five years later, they’re still together.

There’s also this: some people say they want love but haven’t done the work to be ready for it. That’s a hard truth to swallow. I always say, “You can’t be happy with someone else if you’re not happy with yourself.” I kissed a lot of frogs before I found my prince. The wild thing is, most of those frogs are still single—and not because they’re unlucky. It’s because they haven’t grown.

What drove me crazy when I was single was how inconsiderate some men were with time. If you make plans, show up—or at the very least, cancel. Basic decency, right? Some guys are just cowards. (Yeah, I said it.)

I see some of my girlfriends struggling with dating, and I get it—it’s brutal out there. But if you love yourself, exude confidence, and respect the feelings of others, you’re already ahead of the game. One of my go-to lines:

“You have to be the person you want to be in a relationship before you’re in a relationship.”

If you’re out partying three nights a week, fine—but consider how someone seeking real commitment might perceive that. A real partner wants peace, not pettiness. He’s not looking for someone to spiral because he forgot the anniversary of your first kiss.

Matchmaking isn’t just about chemistry—it’s about timing, emotional readiness, and intention. Love deserves thought. Always.

5 Steps on Flirting at the Bar

I love these wedding pictures of the Comedian and me from New York. Between the wild props in the photo booths and goodies flying on the dance floor, it was a night to remember. But I digress—we’re here for flirting tips. Specifically, for the ladies. 👠💋

Let’s be real: bars aren’t exactly known for producing lasting love stories, but hey—you never know. Why pass up an opportunity when it presents itself? Society says men should make the first move, but if someone catches your eye, why not make yourself available to be pursued?

Here’s your five-step game plan:

1. Take the First Glance (Then Look Away)

Most men are terrified to approach a woman—especially when she’s with her squad. If someone catches your eye and gets your interest, flash a quick smile, then turn back to your friends like it’s no big deal.

The trick is in the second glance. If you catch him looking again, look back, give a little eyelash flutter, and smile once more. You’ve just opened the door.

2. Divide and Conquer

Now it’s time to separate from the group. Let your friends know you’re making yourself available in case anything goes sideways (safety first). Standing alone makes it easier for him to approach without feeling like he’s entering the lion’s den.

Fun fact: a group of women can be intimidating as hell.

Legs by pennuja

3. OMG, He’s Walking Over!

When he makes his move, keep it cool. Greet him with a casual, “Hi, how are you?” and resist the urge to overshare. Save the life story for later. If he’s genuinely interested, he’ll take the lead and ask questions to keep the convo flowing.

4. Let the Drinks Roll In—But Set Limits

If things are going well, he may offer to buy you a drink. Accept it (gracefully) but always keep an eye on your glass. Limit yourself to 2–3 drinks, depending on your tolerance. Drunk flirting is dangerous territory—you don’t want to overshare that time you got in trouble for a hit-and-run. (Yikes.)

As my friend Los wisely says:

“Only release a little crazy at a time.”

5. To Date or Not to Date?

Now, here’s the moment of truth. If he drops a sexual innuendo early on, that’s your cue to exit. “It was nice meeting you,” and head back to your girls. You’re at a bar, yes—but you’re still in control.

If he keeps it respectful and the vibe is right, exchange numbers. Then? Sashay back to your friends and debrief like the queen you are. 👑

And remember—flirting is fun, but friendship is the reason you went out in the first place. So enjoy your people, spill the tea, and let the night play out.

The A.D.D. of Dating in the Age of Technology

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Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how technology has completely changed the dating game. I mean, only ten years ago, we were counting how many text messages we sent and waiting until after 9 PM to make free phone calls. Facebook wasn’t a thing yet, and most of us were still talking on cordless phones. I had one with the longest extension cord known to man, just so I could stay up talking into the late hours without waking anyone up. That feels like a lifetime ago.

Now? Everything is instant. Texting is unlimited. Everyone has a phone on them 24/7—and no one even talks on it. We text. We DM. We snap. Communication is literally at our fingertips. So how does this shift change how we date?

Back then, the thrill was in the waiting. A girl would run home hoping the guy she liked had left her a message. Now, we carry that anticipation in our pocket... and it’s exhausting. The accessibility has created a new kind of pressure. If we don’t get a reply in 30 minutes, we start to spiral. “Did I say something wrong?” “Is he ghosting me?” “Should I text again?” And with all that noise, the magic of mystery is lost.

We’ve become so addicted to instant gratification—if we don’t know something, we Google it. If we want to connect, we text. If we want to share, we post. But here’s the problem: dating now moves at the speed of a data plan. That once-simmering anticipation? It’s gone. Relationships often burn fast and fizzle just as quickly.

I’ve noticed this pattern in my own dating life. That early stage where you’re getting to know someone? It’s now filled with daily, almost non-stop texting. And let’s be real—sometimes, it’s just too much too fast. There’s no build-up. No time to wonder. Just constant interaction that can blur real feelings with digital noise.

Ladies (and yes, I’m talking to myself here too): if you get annoyed when a guy keeps asking, “Are you okay? Why haven’t you responded?”—flip the mirror. We can be just as guilty. Smothering someone with attention doesn’t make them fall faster. It usually has the opposite effect.

The truth? Less is more. Let someone miss you. Let them think. Let them feel. Don’t confuse texting chemistry with actual connection. Real emotion takes time, space, and silence to grow. I once read that “your emotions are your true thoughts—don’t let your head get in the way.”

So give it a beat. Let it breathe. If it’s meant to be, it won’t need a push notification to remind them of you.