5 Ways to Boost Your Confidence (Even on the Tough Days)

Being a strong woman in a world that’s constantly trying to dim your light can be exhausting. I literally just finished reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert—after putting it off for ages and watching the movie at least 500 times—and her story left me inspired. Especially her time in India, which helped her reclaim her confidence.

It’s easy to forget how beautiful, smart, sassy, and downright unstoppable we are. So on those days when you’re feeling just a bit “meh,” here are five ways to pick yourself up and remind the world exactly who you are.

1. Dress the Way You Want to Feel

It’s wild what clothes can do for our self-esteem. Ever looked in the mirror and said, “Damn, I look good”? You can feel like that every day.

You’ve heard it before:

“Dress for the job you want.”

Well, dress for the mood you want to. Want to feel sexy? Rock that lace thong that makes you feel like a total vixen. Need to own the day? Slip on your favorite power suit. What you wear on the outside can shift everything on the inside.

2. Drop the Negativity

Negativity is sneaky. Sometimes it comes disguised as friends, gossip, or “just venting.” And yes, it’s easy to get sucked in—hello, reality TV addiction—but it’s toxic to your confidence.

Here’s a little truth bomb: some people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. If their season has ended and they’re dragging you down, it’s time to lovingly let go. Confidence starts with you, not what they think of you.

3. Talk to Yourself (In a Good Way)

Yes, I mean it—talk to yourself in the mirror. Find a mantra and say it daily. Something like:

“I am beautiful, and no one is going to dim my shine today.”

Or…

“I am a force, and today is mine to own.”

At first, it may feel silly. But self-talk is powerful. Say it until you believe it. And if you don’t believe it? Say it again. And again.

4. Move That Body

You don’t need a gym membership—just move. Dance in your kitchen, go for a walk, do a quick YouTube workout. Exercise releases endorphins, those magical chemicals that make you feel good (think baby laughter, but internal).

And beyond that, it gives you more energy, a better mood, and a serious glow-up in the confidence department.

5. Surround Yourself with Positivity

You are the company you keep. Hang with people who challenge you, uplift you, and believe in your greatness. I’ve been blessed with incredible friends who inspire me every time we’re together—smart, strong, and endlessly supportive.

Yes, it took a while to clear the toxic energy, but it was worth every bit of that journey. Find a mentor, lean into your tribe, and watch your confidence soar.

One final thought: these are tips, not a cure. If you’re experiencing depression, please seek help. As someone who’s been there, I know it’s not easy to get out of your own way. You don’t have to go it alone.

So stay sassy, stay confident, and never forget:
You are the most beautiful woman in the world.

Friends, confidence

Yes, Some Girls Love Football

I laughed to myself as I read this meme. I find it comical that for the longest time, I continually dated guys who didn't watch sports.  It was a bit of a conundrum to me.  The biggest complaint I've heard or read from other article was that men would watch sports and ignore their significant other.  But yet, I wasn't dating those guys.  I actually find it attractive that I can bond with a guy through sports.  What if the girl you were with were cheering along with you?  That was me.

As a matter of fact, the group of girls I hang with now all watch football.  When I first started dating the Comedian, several years ago, he looked at me and said, "You're amazing."  I smiled and asked, "Why?"He looked at me and replied, "Because you watch football and drink beer and eat wings."  I snickered, "Most of my girlfriends do."

I guess its a rare breed.  As a matter of fact, I am a Florida Gator and  New York Giants fan.  Even though either team is not performing at their absolute best this season, I still will watch with passion, as well as entertain any arguments about their performance.   I do get upset when they lose and hear all of the people who root for opposing teams jam up my news feed with teasing remarks.  But its all part of the game.  Once, the Comedian's father asked me why I love it and I replied that it was because of the camaraderie, the passion for the sport, and the challenge of the game.  He agreed.

At the end of the day, I am looking forward to the next game.  When it's Spring, I miss football season and I am excited for the next tailgating event.  It doesn't matter what you're passionate about but don't change yourself to fit your guy's needs.  He will love you regardless :-)

I leave with you with a photo of all of us on the way to a NY Giants game in Atlanta.

photo

Is Divorce an Option?

Last night, I was browsing my Hulu account—because all of my shows had ended their season—and stumbled across Mistresses starring Alyssa Milano. I've been a fan of hers since Who's the Boss and Charmed, so I figured I’d give it a shot. I probably should’ve known what I was in for, considering the title.

What struck me wasn’t just the drama—it was the normalization of infidelity. Cheating, lying, betraying trust—it’s portrayed like just another storyline. And maybe that’s what got to me: how common it seems, how socially acceptable it’s become to cheat on your spouse.

In college, I took a History of Television class (I was a TV/Film Production major for a bit), and one thing that stuck with me is this: TV never leads culture—it reflects it. Society sets the tone, and television follows. The first interracial kiss, the first same-sex kiss—those didn’t happen on-screen until society had evolved enough to handle it without backlash.

So what does it say about us that we’re now comfortable with cheating being a staple of primetime TV?

I'm not naive. I've seen infidelity impact the lives of friends and family—people I love. And maybe it hits deeper for me because my own parents divorced when I was a teenager. That experience shaped how I viewed commitment. For years, I was a runner—serial dating, keeping things surface-level, afraid to go deep because deep meant vulnerable. And vulnerable meant the possibility of being left.

A few years ago, I made a conscious decision: If I was going to settle down, it would be once. I would take the time to become the best version of myself, and I’d choose someone who wanted to build a life with intention—someone who also saw marriage as something sacred, not disposable.

Then I heard this quote from Will Smith, and it stuck with me:

“Divorce can’t be an option – it’s really that simple. If you just remove the option… because, if you have the option, one day that person’s gonna make you wanna divorce.

That’s been a huge part of the success for she and I… We’re like, ‘Listen, we’re gonna be together one way or the other, so might as well try and be happy.’”

That changed everything for me. If you treat divorce as a backup plan, it becomes easier to walk away when things get hard. But if you remove the exit sign and commit to the long haul, you’re more likely to put in the work—together.

I understand some people say, “We just grew apart” or “It didn’t work out.” I’m not judging anyone’s journey. But I do believe that if you take your time—really take your time—to get to know yourself and your partner, you’ll make a more grounded, conscious choice. Maybe that’s the benefit of marrying a little later, once the fog of youth and fantasy has lifted and you really know what you need.

Maybe I’m in my own little world with this mindset. But then I ask:
Why even get married… if divorce is always an option?

It's that time... again

As a woman, I struggle with my ever-changing—umm—hormones. When it’s “that time of the month,” my emotions tend to go a little haywire. Normally, I like to pride myself on being cool and calm, so when I started to notice a pattern in my heightened sensitivity, I decided to pay closer attention.

This isn’t some groundbreaking discovery—Eckhart Tolle even addresses it in The Power of Now. He talks about how important it is for women, in particular, to remain grounded in the present moment during this time. I found that oddly comforting. While the point of the book is to stay in the “now” and observe your state of being, when hormones are running the show, it feels like my mind is running a mile a minute.

I think the first time I realized I might be going a little off was a few months ago, during an argument with a friend. Afterward, I asked myself, Why did that make me so upset? Then, like clockwork, the same topic came up the next month—and boom, same reaction. That’s when it hit me. I connected the dots. Hello, PMS.

I didn’t want to believe that my physiology could hijack my peace, but I had to admit it: it does.

Even today, I was talking to my boyfriend—we’ll call him The Comedian—and for some reason, I convinced myself he was upset with me. It wasn’t until after the conversation that I had to laugh at myself. Girl, what are you doing? Then it dawned on me... yep, that time is just around the corner.

Sometimes, we forget that we’re not entirely in control of our emotional responses. Some women might feel it more intensely than others, but for many of us, this monthly rollercoaster is real. Yes, I get cranky—especially if I’m rubbed the wrong way in the morning. It can set my entire day off course.

But there’s hope. I recently rewatched The Secret, and it reminded me that even if your day starts off rough, you have the power to shift your emotions—even just a little. That small shift can change your entire perspective.

Who said being a woman was easy? We deal with hormones, society’s expectations, and still show up like nothing’s happening. So, the next time you're feeling like you're spiraling for no reason—check the calendar, take a deep breath, and know you're not alone.

My Worth

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question "What kind of man are you looking for?" She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking "Do you really want to know?" Reluctantly, he said, "Yes." She began to expound... As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?" The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more." I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life." He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain. She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man." I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect.In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself. When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, "You're asking a lot." She replied,"I'm worth a lot."..> Thank you Helena!