What to Expect When... Getting Married

marriage, dating, dating advice, relationship advice, relationships, blog, blogger

First and foremost, I have a couple of exciting announcements: the Val’s Bytes podcast is coming back! After a year and a half in hibernation, it felt like the perfect time to relaunch—with a new format and a cohost. We recorded a few episodes already, and the banter is fantastic. I can’t wait to share the first one with you this week.

Now, onto the good stuff—marriage.

The other day, the Comedian and I were reflecting on what it really takes to prepare for marriage. When people buy a car or have a baby, they often spend hours doing research, weighing options, and thinking through every step. So why don’t we do the same when we’re about to commit to forever?

I lucked out. The Comedian was always intentional about building a strong foundation before we even thought about marriage or children. You can’t fix a relationship that’s already broken by simply adding more responsibility. It doesn’t work like that.

Some people think having a child or increasing physical intimacy will solve deeper issues. But it’s like addiction—your problems don’t vanish just because you’re distracted. They’re still waiting for you when the fog clears.

A good friend of mine once moved from Orlando to L.A. after a divorce, hoping a change of scenery would fix everything. But it didn’t. What helped was moving back home, where his support system could help nurse him back to life. Healing requires community, not distance.

I won’t pretend our relationship is perfect, but I will say this: we did the work. We read books, had tough conversations, and made it a point to truly understand one another. And trust me, the Comedian still has a few romantic surprises up his sleeve.

There’s a reason the court system in Florida offers a discount on your marriage license if you take a course beforehand—marriage is meant to last. And preparation matters. Take time to read books together, or go through those Pinterest-style "get to know you" questionnaires. (Yes, I’ve done those with the Comedian. They’re fun and surprisingly insightful.)

So to anyone out there dreaming of their prince charming: take the time to know him before calling him your king. Because sometimes, well… that prince could turn out to be a frog.

Here are a few great books and links to questionnaires to help you prep for your own “happily ever after”:

• The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

• Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married

• 100 Random Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

• 40 Personal Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

• 13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

marriage, dating, dating advice, relationship advice, relationships, blog, blogger

No One Wants to Hear about a Happy Relationship

“No one wants to hear about a happy relationship.”

That’s what the Comedian said after finishing a bit on stage. He always runs his jokes by me first—asking if it’s okay to use certain stories. Honestly? I don’t mind. I know most of it is an exaggerated version of our reality. Once, a woman pulled me aside after a show and said, “You don’t have to let him talk about you like that.” But sincerely, I’m okay with it. I’ve gotten used to being the butt of 90% of his jokes.

Happy Relationship, wedding, wedding photos, downtown orlando, grand bohemian, downtown orlando, bride

Comedians talk about what they know. And if they spend most of their lives with you, you're going to make it into their material. I usually just laugh and say, “I signed up for this when I decided to date a comedian.”

It’s not unlike being a dating blogger. For years, I wrote about my latest heartbreaks, bad dates, and cringe-worthy red flags. Now that I’m in a happy marriage, I find myself scrambling for “good material.” Because let’s be real—no one wants to read about a healthy, functional relationship, right?

Maybe that’s the problem. We love drama. We binge-watch reality TV to make ourselves feel better by comparison. If someone rich and beautiful is falling apart on camera, we feel like we’re doing okay. But lately, people have been coming up to us and asking, “How’s married life?”

And truthfully? It’s great. Nothing has changed. We’re still just two creative souls figuring life out together. He’s the guy who can make you laugh until you cry and then pivot to a deep conversation about society’s evolution. I didn’t even know that kind of balance in a partner existed—but it does. And I’m lucky.

happy relationships, wedding, downtown orlando, wedding photo, railroad, bride, groom

Someone once told me, “Enjoy this time, because you never know when things will change.” And she’s right. I’ve seen friends weather storms in their marriages. But the strong ones—the ones who truly get each other—find their way back. I admire that so much.

During his vows, the Comedian said that you need someone who grows with you and pushes you to be your best self. And that stuck with me. So here’s my challenge: talk about your happy relationship. Share it. Let people know that healthy love exists. Maybe it’ll make the search feel a little less impossible.

P.S. Our wedding video is out. I hope you enjoy it as much as we do!
🎥 Watch it here

You're Going to Rue the Day… You Started My Dream

I’ll be completely transparent: I was let go from my 9–5 job on Monday. Most people would expect me to spiral—cue the dramatic thoughts: “Oh no! What am I going to do?” or “I can’t believe that horrible b**ch let me go. She’s going to rue the day she made that decision!”

But truthfully? I don’t feel that way at all.

Instead, I feel like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Prayer is a powerful thing—believe that however you will. I hadn’t prayed in a while, but Monday morning I broke the silence. I simply asked, “God, show me where my path to living a dream will take me.”
By that afternoon? Boom. I was let go.

Was it abrupt? Yes. Was the relationship working? Not really. But deep down, I knew I had been using that job as a crutch—an excuse not to pursue what truly sets my soul on fire: writing.

Since I was a little girl, I’ve dreamed of being a writer. For a long time, I thought that meant becoming a journalist. But once I realized that would involve telling other people’s stories in a rigid format, I lost interest. I wanted to write my stories. Raw, vulnerable, unfiltered. I wanted to speak truth—not conform.

But instead of chasing that dream, I did what so many of us do: I got a “real” job. I traded my calling for a paycheck. For years.

It wasn’t until 2011—post-heartbreak, searching for purpose—that I picked up the pen again. Someone told me I had talent. And in that moment, I remembered who I was. I remembered the little girl who felt most alive when she was writing.

The rest unfolded from there.

I dipped my toes into freelance work. I told pieces of my story. And now here I am: jobless, terrified, but finally pursuing my passion full-time.

This leap would not be possible without the unwavering support of the Comedian—my partner in creativity, in dreaming, in believing that we were meant to make things. He reminds me often that we weren’t put on this earth to just exist—we were made to create.

Am I still scared? Absolutely. The fear of the unknown is real. But so is my faith.

Today I read a piece on Addicted2Success.com about stepping through fear—and it hit me hard. I’ve been avoiding the very thing I now feel called to: uncertainty. But the truth is, I wasn’t made for the clock-in, clock-out life. I wasn’t built to spend 40 hours a week chasing someone else’s dream. I was made for this.

And even though I don’t know exactly what “this” looks like yet, I know it’s mine.

So no, I’m not bitter. I’m not resentful. If anything, I’m grateful—because that woman didn’t just let me go. She set me free.

Opposites DO Attract!

Last night, while chatting with the Comedian, it finally hit me—we have way less in common than I originally thought. And weirdly, that realization didn’t feel bad. In fact, it made me smile. After 2 ½ years together, I’m just now seeing our differences with a bit more clarity.

I’ve always been a social butterfly. I love people. If someone’s sitting next to me, chances are I’ll start a conversation just to cut the awkward silence. You never know what you’ll learn! Just this past weekend, I struck up a convo with someone who brews for Cigar City in Tampa—amazing beer, by the way.

Meanwhile, the Comedian? He’d rather stay home, watch movies, and chill. He accommodates my spontaneous energy, but for him, quiet time reigns supreme. That was a huge adjustment for me at first. My mom used to say I had “ants in my pants,” and she wasn’t wrong. I’m always chasing new experiences. Maybe it’s a little bit of FOMO... who knows?

But here’s the thing: he balances me out. I’m slowly—like sloooowly—learning to enjoy downtime. I’ve developed a real appreciation for those quiet nights on the couch, just the two of us and a good movie. No crowds, no small talk, just comfort.

Despite our differences, we connect deeply on the things that matter. Our humor is strange and sarcastic in the best way, and we share similar goals—when to start a family, what kind of careers we want, how we envision our life together.

The Comedian says something that always sticks with me:

“We spend our 30s fixing all the mistakes we made in our 20s.”

Whew. Truth bomb.

Looking back, my 20s were a rollercoaster. But I’m thankful for the lessons, and more importantly, I’m grateful that growth eventually caught up with me. Our relationship isn’t perfect, but it’s real. Two people who want to live a happy, honest life together. Simple—but powerful.

Oh—and speaking of happy, check out a few pics from this weekend. We had an absolute blast. The 80s really were the best.

Don't be alarmed. This is how we kiss...haha jk

Who knew ninja turtles looked so good!

The Comedian and I

The Urge to Write

overcome-writers-block

It’s been a couple of weeks since I last wrote in my infamous blog. Writer’s block? Maybe. Or maybe life has just been… a lot lately.

Since moving in with the Comedian, things have been nonstop. Work got wild, social plans multiplied, and suddenly our weekends aren’t so much ours as they are another square on the calendar. I long for the lazy mornings where I could look at him and ask, “So what do you want to do today?” These days, it’s more like, “Babe, what do we have scheduled this weekend?”

Don’t get me wrong—this isn’t a complaint. I’ve calmed down quite a bit since my wild college years (and let’s be real, finding my party-loving Orlando crew didn’t help back then either). But now? Babies and pregnancies are popping up in my friend group like whack-a-moles at a carnival. My coworkers love to joke that I’m next. I just smile and say, “Not yet—I haven’t been drinking the water.”

Recently though, I’ve been filling my quiet moments with podcasts—and honestly, I have the Comedian to thank for that. It started with his favorite, Bill Burr, and spiraled into binge-listening to creators like Pat Flynn and my latest obsession, Entrepreneurs on Fire. My mind’s been racing ever since. So many ideas. So many dreams. And right in the middle of it all is this urge—this calling—to write.

I know this blog is only the beginning. I know it’s going to evolve, just like I have. And maybe one day, I’ll look back on these entries as the seeds of something much bigger. Something I was destined to do.

Thank you, truly, for reading. Here’s to finding time, even when it feels like there’s none. ✨