5 Signs You're in a Bad Relationship

Are you dating a narcissist? Master Manipulator? Emotional Terrorist? Here are some signs that you are in a bad relationship. I was told these signs a million times by people over the past years, and I pushed them back saying “he isn’t abusive things aren’t that bad, he doesn’t hit me.” If you find that you are doing this and minimizing the abuse maybe you need to take a step back and honestly evaluate your relationship. So here is a list of 4 things to watch out for and can show you that maybe it’s time to move on from this relationship.

1.  He Controls everything.

And it starts with your activities together it’s with his friends, his hobbies, and it’s all in his time; the activities you want to do never seem to work out. He isolates you from your family; you don’t see them as often as you did. Soon you start making up excuses to the people you love on why you never see them and why he never comes to you. He sabotages your friendships making you think that you choose to get rid of your friends.  Then control goes on steroids, and you start working from home, you no longer have a car, and when you leave the house, he is texting and calling wondering who you are with and how long you will be.  Soon he controls the money, and you no longer have your own, even though you work for it. Now don’t get me started with the sex because that’s going to be controlled too. It will be his choice on his time and his way. You will be left unsatisfied and unfulfilled with life and the relationship and when you complain he will make you feel like everything wrong in the relationship is your fault. Like I said before he is in control of everything, so he is going to control the blame.  This is manipulation at its finest, and it will make you think you are crazy. Take a second and stay grounded; it takes two to tango so don’t think the bad relationship is all your fault.

2.  History of past Abuse.

How does your partner talk about his ex’s? Does he refer to them as crazy? When he talks about who he dated, did it end badly with each one?  You better think twice about being with someone that talks that way. There is a common denominator, and I don’t think it’s that he only finds crazy women to date. A strong, grounded, mature person doesn’t have to label someone as something to protect their ego. A man that has integrity can date remain friendly after it’s over. Listen to the ghosts of his past, they are telling you exactly who he is, and someone like this doesn’t find crazies he creates crazies.

3.  The giving and taking are not the same.

In a bad relationship, there will always be one person that is the taker and the other the giver. That’s how you have been able to stay with him so long but also the reason that you’re feeling drained. You’re giving everything and doing everything, and he will give you enough to keep you around.

4.  The game of emotional abuse: belittling and stonewalling.

Does he tell you things that are physically wrong with your body? Does he always fail to celebrate your successes? Does he stand up for you with friends or family? Does he call you his doormat? Then when you get upset (because these are all hurtful things), he then ignores you till you apologize for getting angry? This is all in the plan because if you think you aren’t enough for him, you get so low that you get to thinking you can’t live without him. You will bend over backward doing anything he wants to keep him around. No one deserves to be a doormat, close that door immediately and open another that will lift up the doormat, dust it off and treat you like the amazing woman you are.

5.  Cycle of abuse

Another reason you stay because when it is good, it’s SO GOOD. I remember crying after my ex, and I bought a house together, and we saged it and talked about all the positive things that were going to happen in the house. Well for once we did an activity I wanted to do.  And it was fun, happy, and he was all in and paying 100% attention to me. The high of things going well never lasts. Eventually, the honeymoon stage is over, and the cycle begins again. He will belittle, Stonewall or flat out choose anything or anyone over you; you then get upset and then you’re called crazy. Meanwhile, you think it’s your fault and stay because you  THINK you can learn not to be crazy. But in reality, you aren’t crazy, and anyone that gets belittled, stonewalled and flat out chosen last would be upset. You are Normal; You will find a reasonable person to love, and you will be fulfilled and completely healthy.

So if you can relate to this list and you think your relationship is very similar, Please Go! You’re beautiful, smart, strong, and even though you have been conditioned to think otherwise and even though it will be the hardest thing you have ever done; do it. He will never change, and you will stay unfulfilled and drained. You can have a best friend as a partner, someone that’s excited to see you. I remained in an abusive relationship for almost ten years, in the end after I changed my bad habits and worked on myself and came to find it still was not working because he didn’t want it too. I tried to leave three times before I did. It was the hardest thing I ever did. Now that it’s all over and I’ve been with an amazing man I have the relationship that mirrors my parents. I am so glad I did it. It took a long time to get here, and I’m so proud to be where I am and be who I am. We are both in love with each other and will do anything to make sure each other are happy. I didn’t think this existed, and I didn’t think a relationship could be natural, and it is.

Thanks for coming to the party today, I’m sorry it feels like such a downer, but it does end well. This story has ended happily ever after for me, and I hope this post helps change someone’s nightmare into a fairytale. Life is too short, and we only regret the things we never did. You won’t regret living a more fulfilled life and leaving the draining relationship. Let me know if you liked the post or it helped you in some way by commenting and sharing.

XOXO

I'm Rubber, You're Glue

It’s late and I really should be reading an article for class—yes, I’m back in school pursuing my MBA. I’m not entirely sure where it’ll lead me, but the future feels full of promise. For now, I’m in one of those late-night reflective moods. A little random, a little philosophical.

Lately, I’ve found myself becoming more and more a student of human behavior. The more I experience and learn, the more I notice how easily egos can be bruised—especially when the hurt comes from someone we hold in high regard. I’m not immune to it. Sometimes it feels like one careless comment can slash straight through your confidence.

But then I remember that childhood comeback: “I’m rubber, you’re glue—whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.” Kids really had it right. What changed? I think puberty turned us all into emotional puddles.

We forget that the present is all we truly have. Not the past we can’t change or the future we can’t predict—but the now. And now is always the best moment if we let it be.

I’ve always tried to be an advocate for living life happily. Sure, bad things happen—losses, heartbreak, setbacks. But those are the things that teach us. They push us to grow. And through it all, I’ve realized one thing: the less you care about what people think, the more you get to be yourself. Fully. Unapologetically.

I know my friends and family love me for exactly that—my love of life, my goofy laugh, my corny jokes, and my random trivia I feel everyone must know. And that’s the best kind of love: the kind that grows when you stop shrinking yourself to fit someone else’s comfort.

So let the criticism bounce off. You’re rubber, remember?

Let people love you for being you.

Knowing Me First

“To love others, you must first love yourself.”
— Leo Buscaglia

I love myself

Since the chain of events that shifted my life in my early twenties, I’ve made it my mission to mold myself into the woman I want to be. And to do that, I had to get real about my emotional patterns.
Why do I get angry when this happens?
Why do I cry when that happens?
These questions would circle through my mind for years. Maybe personal growth was the path I was meant to walk. All I knew was—I wanted to understand me.

My biggest struggle? Handling emotions. I absolutely despise confrontation. I’ve always communicated better through writing (thank you, AOL chat rooms). But in romantic relationships, that became a problem. I’d vent to a third person instead of confronting my boyfriend directly—and one time, it backfired big time. My roommate ended up dating him after we broke up. Awkward. Painful. Lesson learned.

Eventually, I realized: when you start making excuses for someone, it’s time to check in with your own happiness. You shouldn’t want to change your partner. You should be with someone who naturally brings out the best version of you—not someone who drags you down.

When I’m upset, I still shake. Sometimes I cry. (Yes, I know... I sound like a mess—lol.) But over the years, I’ve learned how to recognize those reactions instead of letting them rule me. I don’t bottle things up anymore. I’m learning to handle things when they come up, not when it’s too late.

I’m not perfect. No one is. But I work on myself every single day.
Some days are good.
Some are great.
And others? Just plain awful.
But that’s life.

We are in charge of what we accept, what we allow, and what we choose to move through. So if you’re feeling stuck—ask yourself: What got me here? And more importantly: What am I going to do next?

Because at the end of the day, you’re the only one who can save you.

The Power of Forgiveness: Releasing the Past to Embrace Peace

Over the last few months, I’ve been on a journey to rediscover who I am—and to finally let go of everything that’s held me back. I know I’ve touched on this before, but recently, it feels like I’ve come face-to-face with a wall I didn’t know I’d built. A wall made of unspoken pain, shame, and the lingering shadows of my past.

In my effort to become the best version of myself—not just for me, but also for my new relationship—I’ve been pushed to confront parts of myself I thought were long buried. For the longest time, I kept one specific year of my life very private. I didn’t want it to define me. I didn’t want to seem like a burden.

But I’ve come to realize this: the people who truly care about you don’t see you as broken or damaged. They see you as you. Strong. Whole. Beautiful. And worthy of love.

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to dig deep into my hidden pain. It wasn’t easy. But something extraordinary happened—I felt a shift. A spiritual release. I’m not one to preach, but I need to say this: there is power in what Jesus did for us. By taking on our pain, He gave us a path to freedom from shame. We don’t have to carry the sins of others or the lies they told us about ourselves.

Forgiveness—real, raw forgiveness—is powerful. For a long time, I thought I was strong because I had buried the pain and numbed myself to it. But I now understand: true strength is in facing the pain, feeling it, and letting it go. It’s saying, “I see what happened. I acknowledge it. And I forgive you—not for you, but for me.”

That kind of strength can’t be faked. And though I still have some forgiving to do, I feel lighter. More whole. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m really starting to live.