Posts tagged online dating
What did I say?

You get more bees with honey than with vinegar

In the last couple of months, I have endured a bit of a experiment to restart dating on a free site (which name I will not disclose).  I have a friend of mine who believes he might have had success on this particular site but he literally dates everyone of the girls he has the slightest interest in and keeps a log of who he might see for a second time.  Anyhow, what I find interesting on this site is that it is full of insecure men who are trying to find Ms. Right Now.  I've heard it is full of crazy women with several kids from different fathers, stalkers, and other psychos.  I'm sure the reason they keep talking to me is because I might be the most normal they've spoken to in a while.

A few weeks ago, I started a conversation with someone who seemed interesting in the beginning.  While the conversation progressed, I found out he didn't have a car.  I mentioned it was not a positive point and he immediately dismissed me as superficial.  Say what?!?!  He might have had several other experiences with other women, however, I didn't say no.  After I reassured him that not having a car was not a deal breaker, we continued talking.  He then asked if I wanted to hang out with his friends and him on the Thursday of that week.  I have a few rules when it comes to online dating but I'll post that in another blog.  I turned him down, besides it was a week night.  Then after he asked for my number, he sent a text 30 minutes later (which was my bedtime) and I told him I was going to pass out.  He, again, got defensive and said that I would probably never text him again.  Yuck!  Insecurity is such a huge turn off. 

I find it that insecure men need to be told that regardless of their situation, they are amazing.  They need to be "coddled".  What I find interesting about the profiles is that you can tell what kind of person they are right off the bat.  If someone puts himself on a high horse, then dismisses any woman who has kids, no teeth, no education, and so on.  But what I've realized, the older I get, why miss out on an opportunity because someone might not have EVERYTHING you want?  I read in Patty Stanger's How to become your own Matchmaker you need to establish a list of things you absolutely need.  They are 10 must haves then 5 non-negotiables.  Those non-negotiables are things which you will not move on, but everything else is something you can possibly make an exception on.  It is one thing to list the things you might want, but be positive.  You get more bees with honey than with vinegar, or at least that's what they say.  

Funny, when I write these blogs sometimes, I think of a friend close to mine who swears I quote him but here I go, he say, "Being with someone depends on how much crazy your willing to deal with at the end of the day." 

I will say this, I've been on this crazy site before and I literally just get tired of meeting people who are strange, insecure and/or I don't have chemistry with, then I close the account.  I believe that time is coming pretty soon.  Plus football season is around the corner and who really has time to date then. I'll wait for spring fever to kick back in.  :-)

Read More