How to Save Your Relationship from Micro Cheating
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Val talks about what micro cheating is and how to overcome this close sister of emotional cheating.
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Bad Dating Habits and How to Fix Them
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You’ve been on a few dates, and something’s just not clicking. You’re bringing your best self (or so you think), but you still can’t seem to get past the first or second date. Cue the terrible chick flicks (Christmas Prince, anyone?) and mint chocolate chip ice cream (yes, it’s still the best flavor).
Hate to break it to you, but... sometimes you are the problem.
Let’s talk about the most common bad dating habits—and how to kick them to the curb so you can finally find a relationship that sticks.
🚩 1. Being Too Available
I know you’re excited—he’s hot, you’re vibing, and he finally asked you out. But showing up the second he calls doesn’t leave room for anticipation. And yes, the chase matters.
Try this instead: If he asks to hang out on Friday, say, “I actually have something going on—how about Saturday?”
Now you’re showing that you have a life outside of dating, and that makes you way more appealing.
🚩 2. Not Acting Like You’re Girlfriend Material
Let me explain. If you’re known as the party girl, your place is a hot mess, and you curse like a sailor 24/7… it might be time for a little self-check.
Dating is kind of like an interview—you don’t want to fake it, but you should still put your best foot forward.
Funny story: The Comedian was never on time, but on our first few dates, he made a huge effort to be punctual because he knew I valued it. His mom later revealed his lateness was legendary—I had been bamboozled. But by then, I was in too deep. 😅
Moral of the story? Be the person you want to attract before getting into a relationship.
🚩 3. Being Too Picky
I’m all for having standards, but if you’re holding out for a Christian Grey fantasy, you might be waiting a while.
Make a list of your top 5 non-negotiables. These are the “must-haves” that truly matter to you—values, goals, lifestyle, etc. The rest? Let it go.
Need help? Download my [Dating Terms worksheet] to narrow it down.
🚩 4. Flakiness
This one’s a dealbreaker. Integrity matters. If you say you’re going to show up—show up. If something comes up, just send a quick text. It literally takes five seconds to say, “Hey, I’ve had a rough day. Can we reschedule?”
People remember how you treat their time. Flakiness is a red flag you’re not emotionally ready to date.
(If you're curious, I once dated a notorious flake. The full story’s here → link it up!)
🚩 5. Ignoring Your Insecurities
This one’s big. If you haven’t dealt with your insecurities—abandonment, body image, past trauma—they’ll creep into your dating life.
I’ve been there. I used to lie about my past and apologize constantly because I was insecure. You don’t have to carry shame for things that shaped you.
Do the work. Therapy, journaling, books—whatever helps you heal. Because when you love yourself, you stop choosing people who don’t.
💡 Final Thought
Dating isn’t just about meeting the right person. It’s about becoming someone who’s ready to receive love when it comes. When you’re grounded, self-aware, and committed to your own happiness, the right relationship shows up like magic.
Now go finish that ice cream and start fresh.
Holiday Gift Ideas for Your Significant Other
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Yesterday, I put out a survey on Facebook to ask what people would want their significant other to get them for the holidays. The main consensus I got was that you should really know the person you are in a relationship with. Many of the people responded to receiving gifts that were very personal. If you're still stumped, here are some tips for getting the right gift for that special person in your life.
Gift ideas for the adventurer
Some of us have the wanderlust bug. What would mean more to a person who has a sense of adventure is to plan a getaway to have somewhere they have been hinting. I love to travel so really a trip anywhere outside of my house is ideal. For someone that is more romantic, plan a staycation in your hometown at a beautiful resort where you can lay in bed all day and get massages. For someone who is a little more adventurous, plan a small trip to the mountains to go hiking or by the ocean for a peaceful weekend away.
There is room in your budget for even the smallest trips. Seeking adventure does not have to cost an arm and a leg. It's really the thought that counts. If you need help planning a trip away from home, check out this website Great Value Vacations.
If you have young kids at home, get a babysitter and take your husband or wife for a night on the town.
Gift ideas for the tech geek
These gifts also work well for those who like to be super organized. Courtesy of the Comedian, he feels anyone involved with tech would like to get their wires in order.
The Grid-It Organizer has always been a lifesaver on trips. Usually, the Comedian organized all of our chargers for our phones, laptops, Chromecast, and other things a tech person might need to keep handy.
Along with the organizer, we usually carry an Anker 6-Port USB charger. Instead of having ten power blocks for your different phones, we only have this one charger that we plug all of our devices into. When you're traveling, you could be limited to the number of plugs in your hotel room or space in your bag. Using these two tools help.
If you have a bigger budget, then obviously you can get even more elaborate. The Comedian usually drops hints on the things he wants. Next is a 4K TV but that's not in the budget for this year. I always make sure to check out CNet before buying anything tech related. If your SO knows their stuff, they can smell an imposter from a mile away. You'll want to do your research, check reviews, and make sure you are getting the best gift for your budget.
Gift ideas for the fashionista
Many of my friends are makeup lovers. They invest hundreds of dollars in good quality eyeshadow, blush, eyebrow pencils, and more. If you're a guy and this is not your wheelhouse, it is probably best to stay away from trying to buy makeup for that special lady in your life. This goes the same for shoes and shopping. Pay attention to what your SO is saying especially around the holidays.
I like to keep a special section in my Evernote about the things I would want to buy for my significant other. If you're not sure about your girlfriend or wife's size, don't buy anything clothing related. Trust me. You'll avoid an awkward conversation. Keep it safe and buy a classic piece of jewelry like a solitaire necklace, diamond earrings, or a nice watch. In all honesty, you can never really go wrong with a beautiful piece of jewelry.
Gift ideas for the person who has everything
Sometimes I find myself at a loss. I know my husband well enough to know he needs socks, undershirts, or random stuff for his office but I feel that lacks personalization. If you're like me and you want to get your significant other something different, something special, or something out of the ordinary. Give them an experience. Once my cousin's girlfriend gifted a day in his dream car. I don't recall the car, but it was about the experience rather than a physical gift.
Another idea if someone is a sports enthusiast, get them tickets to watch their favorite team, or make a trip out of it by taking them away for a weekend to watch a game. I know I would love some tickets to a New York Giants or Florida Gators game. Shoot... I haven't been to Gainesville, Florida in years!
Etsy has tons of personalized, handmade items that make any gift extra special. Be sure to read the reviews of those who have previously bought items. I'm a review reading maniac, and I haven't been unsatisfied with anything I bought on Etsy so far.
My overall point is to pay attention. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is a sneakerhead, then they'll want sneakers. If they like comedy, get them tickets to see their favorite comedian perform. The consensus I got from they survey online is gifting an experience is much more impressive than a physical gift.
If you need direction on what to get your loved one for the holidays, feel free to reach out to me at val@valsbytes.com.
Happy shopping!!
(There are affiliate links in this blog post)
Is it Too Early to Bring My SO to Meet My Family?
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It’s official—you’ve been cuffed! After dating your fair share of dreamboats and duds, you finally found someone worth keeping around. Congrats! But now that the holidays are here, you're asking yourself that age-old question:
Is it too early to introduce them to my family?
Before making any big moves, grab your favorite yellow legal pad (or Notes app) and let’s do a little soul-searching. Here’s a handy checklist of questions to help you decide if it’s time to bring your SO into the family fold—or wait it out.
👀 Know Your Audience
One of the realest fears about introducing a significant other to your family is the unpredictable dinner table conversation. Your sweet new boo could find themselves smack in the middle of a heated debate about health care policy—and there’s no escape. Your abuelita might say something wildly inappropriate two seconds into dinner. Someone will ask when you’re getting married. Someone else will ask if you're pregnant. It's chaos.
So here’s the test:
Can your SO handle your family’s brand of crazy?
Pay attention to how they respond to awkward or tense situations in day-to-day life. Give them a heads-up about your family’s quirks and political landmines. If they take it in stride and you see them unbothered by the chaos?
You’ve got a good one.
I’ve been there. I once dated a guy with cowboy boots and a gold grill. That’s not a joke—that’s real life. I hid him from my friends and family because I knew there would be backlash. And I was right.
Which brings me to the next point...
🧭 Define the Relationship
Cuffing season is cute, but it’s not always long-term. If you’re dating someone to stay warm this winter, but already planning your Valentine’s Day exit strategy, please don’t introduce them to your family. That’s just messy.
Bringing a temporary fling to a holiday party sends mixed messages—to them and to your family. It sets up false hope and unnecessary drama.
On the other hand, if this person feels like someone you want around after February... by all means, bring them into your world. Your family is probably dying to meet the person who makes you light up when you talk about them.
⏰ Is It the Right Time?
Maybe it’s been a few weeks. Maybe it’s been a few months.
Spoiler: Length doesn’t matter. (Not here, anyway.)
It’s about how you feel.
A wise friend once told me, “When you know, you know.”
It sounds cheesy, but it’s true. When it’s right, it feels different than anything before.
The holidays are one of the most social times of the year. You probably see your family more now than any other time. So if you’re itching to show off your relationship—but you’re unsure—take a step back and run through these questions:
Are you proud to be with this person?
Can they roll with your family dynamic?
Are you in it for the long haul?
If you’re nodding “yes,” then prep your partner for a crash course in family traditions and awkward questions. Because ready or not... it’s time to meet the crew.
Is it Rabbit Season? No, it's Cuffing Season
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For the past few weeks, I've been dropping the phrase cuffing season on social media and in conversation. Most of you gave me a puzzled look—and that’s okay! It’s a fairly new term for something that’s been happening forever. I first heard it a few years ago, right around the time I got engaged to The Comedian. I used to think it only applied to engagements, but I was wrong. It’s deeper than that.
Cuffing season is what this cozy, chilly time of year does to people emotionally. Between November and February, studies show that men are 15% more likely to get into a relationship. That’s right—the cold has a way of heating up the dating scene.
🧣 What is Cuffing Season?
I’m still not sure why the word cuff stuck—personally, I vote for Cuddling Season. But alas, here we are. According to psychologist and matchmaking CEO Sameera Sullivan:
“Cuffing season is that period of time between fall and the dead of winter when people start looking for someone they can spend those long, frigid months with.”
Sounds about right. It’s less about lifelong romance and more about someone to share hot cocoa and Netflix with. And, let’s be real—also about avoiding awkward questions from your grandmother who still wants to know when you’re getting married. (Now that I'm married, she's asking when we’re having kids. I just sip my wine and walk away.)
Let’s face it—being alone during the holidays can be tough. Everyone else seems to have a plus-one for Christmas parties and a midnight kiss on New Year’s Eve. Wanting a temporary companion? Totally understandable.
🚩 Beware of Serial Cuffers
Before you go tossing out your granny panties, let’s talk red flags. Some men (and women) are serial cuffers—they grab a cozy companion for the season, then conveniently break up just before Valentine’s Day. Why? Well, February 14 implies commitment... and Spring Break is around the corner. Do the math.
Watch out for the types who say, “You’re different,” while keeping you at arm’s length. Ask about their dating history and patterns. Don’t be afraid to clarify your intentions early on.
On the bright side, cuffing season may also signal the slow death of hookup culture. There’s something refreshing about the return of actual time spent together, beyond Tinder swipes. Hot cocoa, fireplaces, fuzzy socks? Sign me up.
💡 How Do I Get Cuffed?
If you’re tired of casual dating, cuffing season is the perfect time to shift gears.
Start with your mindset. Picture yourself in a relationship. Act like you’re already in one (yes, even when no one’s around). Set the tone—and the universe has a funny way of catching on.
Next: know what you want. What are your non-negotiables? Print out my Dating Terms worksheet and narrow down the top 5 qualities you must have in a partner.
Once you’ve got that clarity, put yourself out there—on purpose. Join a dating site with serious candidates (I may be biased, but Match.com is my favorite—it’s how I met The Comedian). Or simply get out of the house and reconnect with real people in real places. Love isn’t always digital.
💌 Need Help Navigating Cuffing Season?
If you need a little nudge—or a full-on matchmaking fairy godmother—I’m here. Drop me a line. I’ll help you get clear, get cuffed (the good kind), and get what you’re really looking for.
The Dating Vocabulary Guide: Terms You Should Know Before Swiping Right
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I was scrolling through Snapchat the other day and stumbled on an article about dating vocabulary—and my mind was blown. Apparently, being out of the dating game for a few years left me seriously out of the loop. No amount of late-night chats with my girlfriends prepared me for the new language of love.
If I didn’t know these terms, chances are you don’t either. So here’s a handy cheat sheet to help you navigate the dating world like a seasoned pro (or at least avoid getting benched).
💔 Benching
Benching is the dating world’s equivalent of being second string. It's when someone keeps you around for attention, texts you just enough to keep you interested—but has no intention of committing.
Sound familiar?
You haven’t heard from them in a while, and suddenly you get a “miss talking to you” text. You suggest coffee. They ghost your invite. You're not a priority—you’re on the bench.
📺 Example: In How I Met Your Mother (yes, I’m obsessed), there's an episode called Hooked where Ted is "on the hook" for a girl who never actually wants to date him. Classic benching.
🍞 Breadcrumbing
Breadcrumbing is when someone flirts and messages you just enough to keep you emotionally invested—but never actually follows through. They don’t want to meet. They don’t want to commit. They’re basically your digital tease.
This happened to me so many times when I was single, and I didn’t even know there was a term for it. Breadcrumbing often leads to...
🎭 Catfishing
If you’ve watched MTV’s Catfish, you already know: this is when someone pretends to be someone else online—using fake photos, bios, sometimes entire identities.
Catfishers typically avoid video calls, and their excuses are endless. If they refuse to FaceTime after a couple weeks of texting? Run.
🔍 Tip: If they’re real and truly interested, they’ll find a way to connect beyond a screen.
⛓️ Cuffing Season
Cuffing Season runs from November through February. Statistically, men are more likely to get into relationships during these colder, cozier months. Why? Holidays, nosy relatives, and the desire to Netflix and chill with someone who won’t judge your sock collection.
Warning: Cuffing Season often ends just before Valentine’s Day—also known as peak ghosting season.
👻 Ghosting
You’re chatting, flirting, maybe even dating. Then—poof—they’re gone. Unreachable. Unfollowed. Blocked. They’ve literally vanished without explanation.
Ghosting is one of the most cowardly ways to exit a relationship (or situationship), and sadly, it’s more common than we’d like to admit.
💬 Best advice: Don’t chase closure. If they could ghost you, they weren’t the one.
🧟♂️ Haunting
Even after you're happily married, they still lurk. Exes or flings who suddenly like your selfies or slide into your DMs out of nowhere? That’s haunting—and it’s real.
Some of my skeletons still poke me on Facebook (I still don’t understand poking) or DM me out of the blue. And sometimes, they want more. Um, no thanks—I’m good.
📘 Final Thoughts
Language evolves—and dating is no exception. As time goes on, new terms will pop up, but the underlying themes remain: emotional games, avoidance, and the desire for connection.
If you’re unsure whether you’re being ghosted, benched, or breadcrumbed, I’m here to help. Shoot me a note at val@valsbytes.com, and I’ll help decode your dating dilemma.
Before Finding Love, You Have to do the Work
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Okay. I’m going to give you a stern talking to. Ready? Good.
Ever since I announced that I’m a certified matchmaker, I’ve had people come out of the woodwork asking for help. Amazing, right? But the minute I mention a simple 15-minute questionnaire, they look at me like I have six heads.
What I’ve come to realize is this: people want love handed to them without doing any actual work. And honestly? That’s insane.
Yes, sure, you can find love without a long questionnaire or without asking me for help. Go for it. But if you’re looking for something deep, lasting, and aligned, you’ve got to do the inner work first.
It’s Not Just About a Questionnaire
Before I got into a relationship with the Comedian, I had personal hurdles to overcome—abandonment issues, sexual assault trauma, and other baggage.
News flash: we all have baggage—especially if you're dating in your late 20s, 30s, or 40s. Previous relationships, kids, family issues, life-altering events... all of it leaves an emotional mark.
But here's the thing I always say:
“It’s not what you’ve been through; it’s how you handle it that makes you who you are.”
Those past wounds don’t belong in a relationship. So I went to counseling. I read The Secret and The Power of Now. I started viewing life with a different lens. I chose balance and growth.
Welcome to the Self-Awareness Era
We live in an age where personal growth tools are at our fingertips. If you’ve had a string of failed relationships, guess what? The common denominator is you. It’s time to stop blaming your exes and take ownership.
As Einstein (or your favorite meme) once said:
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
So ask yourself:
– Do I constantly try to “fix” or “save” my partners?
– Am I attracted to emotionally unavailable people because that’s what love looked like growing up?
Unconscious attraction is real. I used to consistently date military guys. Why? My dad was in the Army. That’s the energy I was familiar with. CNN even reported it’s common to end up with someone who mirrors your parents.
Do the Work
Want love? Start with yourself.
– Take a personality test (try 16personalities.com)
– Discover your love language
– Read books like Attached or Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married
– Dive into your zodiac sign for fun insights
These aren’t just BuzzFeed quizzes—they’re tools that help you understand your emotional wiring. When you know and love yourself, you're better equipped to be the kind of partner who attracts a healthy relationship.
Why eHarmony Asks So Many Questions
If you're serious about finding love, questionnaires aren’t the enemy—they’re your blueprint.
I once filled out the full eHarmony survey. Yes, it was long. Yes, it asked what I wanted in a partner. But that’s the point. You don’t want to waste time dating someone whose core values don’t align with yours—whether it’s about kids, religion, or deal-breakers like smoking.
As a matchmaker, I use intuition and information. Both are crucial. Without self-awareness and honesty, it’s impossible to build something that will last decades.
Final Thought
I genuinely want to see people fall in love. It lights me up to be part of that journey. But love that lasts requires more than chemistry—it requires clarity.
Do the work. Heal. Learn. Grow.
And when you’re ready, real love will meet you there.
📝 Interested in getting started?
Download my Dating Terms Worksheet to learn more about your perfect partner
Why Traveling Was Good For Our Relationship
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I have traveled before I met my partner Gareth (as I like to call BG, Before Gareth.) I had gone to various random places in the states with my family. The usual California, New York, Zion and I saw my best friend get married in Australia. I would say that I hardly traveled. Five states and once out of the country in my 20 something years that is barely seeing the world. Since I have had the pleasure to be with my fun, adventurous partner, we have NEVER gone a couple of months without a holiday or change in location. He is my adventure, and it has made us better for it. Here’s why…
1. Got us out of our comfort zone
When you’re in a new city, you have to try new things. New food, new gym, new everything. That can be scary for someone that is used to being in a bubble. I have grown so much since I have met this man that I feel like I am a different person. I owe that to him and the adventure we have had traveling the world. Let me just put this into perspective I used to be scared to go anywhere by myself, I’d have mad anxiety, and now I can travel by myself to a different country. One of my favorites quote is
“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.”
Not sure who wrote it but traveling has gotten us out of our comfort zone. It made us turn to each other when you have a life like a gypsie. You can’t go to your parent's or friend's house. Yes, we have phones and can call anyone at any time, but it’s different. We have just had us, and it’s forced us to communicate with each other even when we would rather not.
2. Taught us how to go with the flow
Things are stressful when there is no place to hang your hat. You can plan, and life laughs, life has taught us to plan and then go with the flow. We have moved to a different state within a week; we plan vacations a day in advance. We are last minute people that fly by the seat of our pants, and when things get stressful, we get mad and then laugh because that’s life and this life is us. We also had an inside joke for the longest time of blaming it on Florida. Life goes by too quick to not laugh about that crappy thing that happened.
3. Made us appreciate US.
You meet a lot of people while you travel and you see a lot of your friends through a social media lens. Nothing is perfect, and we aren’t either, but I can honestly say the more people I meet, the more I know I was meant to be with this Irish stud. I have been on holidays and vacations with other boyfriends, and I was never fulfilled or always bored. I can look at this man for hours and still have more to talk about, and the great thing is I know he would say the same. We once missed the lights of Paris because we were too busy talking in the hotel room. I wouldn’t change a thing. The more people I meet, the cities I go and the more time passes, the more I love this man.
4. We got to know each other on a different level quickly.
We went on our first holiday on our 4th date, and we got lost and walked FOREVER in Vegas. I had a blast. But because we have traveled a lot our first two years of dating, we were together 24/7. I had been in relationships before that a week on holiday them was way too much time. So it refreshing to be with someone I can’t get enough of and it almost been two years we have been together! You can’t hide your true self when you’re with someone so much. I know that I will spend the rest of my life getting know the man beside me, but I’m thankful for the time we have had traveling. It has allowed us to quickly get to know each other to know that we wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.
Thank you for tuning into my post on Val’s Bytes, check out more post’s at ANYTHINGGIRLY.com
Follow me on Instagram @heidimaesearle
And Facebook at Heidi Mae Searle
The best compliment to any blogger is sharing a post, so I invite you to share and thank you in advance if you do. Comment below with how traveling has been good for you! Let me know your favorite Holiday, so I can put it on my Wish List of places to visit.
Secrets to Making a Breakup Be the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You
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Cry, scream, and be all the emotions
What I mean by this is feel all the emotions. You can’t move on if you push things down and never address them. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time. It’s gonna be a bumpy road, emotions will come and go, but this will be the best thing to ever happen to you and one day you will wake up, and the shadow will be gone, and you will be happy again. I know you’re asking the biggest question just like when Carrie got her heart broken by Mr. Big for the millionth time.
You know, Carrie from Sex in the City, asked “When will I laugh again?” Miranda responded “When something is really funny.”
That’s how being happy will be one day, it will just click. Until then move on to the rest of this post.
Make a list of all the things that annoyed you
Get specific about the guy and the relationship. This is a great list to have on your phone so when you feel like texting him, or you hear a song you both loved you can read the list and remember why you broke up. When the time comes, and you’re with someone new it’s an excellent way to compare the new guy with the old and make sure they are nothing alike. Who wants to make the same mistake twice? Am I right?
Make a list of all the things you love about yourself and your life
Self-worth is the most important thing anyone can change. If you don’t like you, then who will? This list can be hard in the beginning, try to be very specific and keep adding to the list and read over this list every time you’re sad or not feeling like you are enough. Everyone has good qualities and has talents, appreciate yours. One of my favorite quotes by an unknown author is
“You are YOU and that is your power.”
Embrace your power and embrace your uniqueness. Which leads me to the next point.
Change your self-talk
A world of disappoints will turn into a reality of winning. Words are important, they all have meaning and truth. How is it the nicest people often treat themselves the worst? I came to find that I was quite rude to myself. So take the negative challenge, and I replace I can’t, I won’t, I’m sorry and no; I replaced it with yes, thank you, I can and I will. It makes a world of difference. One of my favorite movies is Alice in Wonderland, and it’s because she tries to do six impossible things before breakfast. And with a mindset like that the world is yours. Be nice to yourself and say nice things. If you need some motivation or an example of affirmations, click here. You will not be disappointed.
Start working out
Even if it’s just a walk with your dog every day or starting a new class at the gym, get out and get your body moving. There are so many studies that state walking is good for your brain. There is a form of therapy called EMDR, and it focuses on changing your thoughts and memories while using both sides of your brain. It’s an incredible form of therapy because you are not talking your way through your problems and getting obsessed. You never tell your therapist what it’s about and you work through your thoughts and memories replaces them with less dramatic more positive feelings. I recommend it to anyone wanting to heal from any past traumas.
Try new things and meet new people
Have you always wanted to take an art class? Or learn how to dance? When you are at work what do you wish you could be doing? When getting home, DO IT! Scared to do something is the best sign that you need to do that very thing, so DO IT. When I was moving on from my past life, I chose always to say yes. My world had gotten so limited like the relationship I was in. When you get scared to take that as a personal challenge to do it. Always say yes. You will be surprised at the things you can accomplish and the people you will meet along the way.
Go on vacation
traveling is the best thing for a broken heart. We forget that life is more than the bubble we live in. It’s a huge world and it will bring things into perspective plus you have so many memories to bury the past with which in the end will help you to move on.
Read self-help books and listen to positive podcasts
I know it’s cheesy but there is good stuff in others experience and advice. Heck, you wouldn’t be reading this post if you didn’t want to change yourself so get obsessed with being better, feeling better. Even trying to better yourself can help you feel better. So get to it, I love The Motivational High Five but find what works for you.
Re-establish friendships with friends and family.
Bad relationships lead to breakups which then have unfortunately put our loved ones as collateral damage. Re-establish those friendships and like I said before don’t be scared to make new ones.
Create goals
Are you happy with your job? No? Change it. Do you hate where you live? Yes? Move. You only have one life to live to get living it instead of surviving it. You don’t like something change it. And keep changing it till you love it.
And finally, upgrade on that relationship
This breakup will be the hardest thing ever do but the best choice you’ve ever made. there is someone out there that will make you look back at the relationship you just left and you will think how crazy you were to ever be so upset it ended. Find someone better, that fits you better, communicates better and has a similar love language as you. We don’t look hard enough to find the people that will suit us best and possibly be our soul mates. So look because I can tell you by experience when you find them you will be happy. Life will be so easy and you will look back at your past relationships and laugh that you ever thought that was love. Don’t settle, your fairy tale does exist.
Thank you for tuning into my post on Val’s Bytes, check out more post’s at ANYTHINGGIRLY.com
Follow me on Instagram @heidimaesearle
And Facebook at Heidi Mae Searle
The best compliment to any blogger is sharing a post, so I invite you to share and thank you in advance if you do. Comment below and let me know what has helped you get over a breakup!
How to Get Closer to Your Significant Other
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“The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved,” wrote Victor Hugo—and few truths feel as universally powerful. In today’s fast-paced world, the rarity of genuine love only makes it more sacred. But once you’ve found your person, the real work begins: building a deep, lasting connection.
Closeness doesn’t come from proximity—it comes from intentionality. The happiest couples don’t just fall in love; they choose to keep loving by nurturing the bond every day.
1. Talk About Your Dreams
If you want to get closer to your partner, ask them what they dream about—and truly listen.
I remember the moment my partner shared a long-held dream they had never told anyone else. It stopped me in my tracks. I had known them for so long, yet never considered that piece of their soul. That conversation changed the way I looked at them.
When you understand what your partner hopes for, fears, and envisions for the future, your relationship transforms from ordinary to extraordinary. Their dream becomes your dream. Supporting each other’s aspirations builds trust, respect, and a deeper emotional bond.
2. Travel Together
There’s something magical about exploring the world with your partner. Whether it’s a sunset on a quiet beach or wandering cobblestone streets, travel invites you into new rhythms and experiences—together.
Couples who travel often create stronger psychological bonds. You learn how your partner handles stress, joy, change, and excitement. Even the little hiccups (missed flights, wrong turns, lost luggage) become stories you’ll laugh about for years. Shared adventures remind you that you’re a team, no matter the terrain.
3. Try New Things Together
Want to grow together? Get out of your routine and try something new.
Too often, couples fall into autopilot—same shows, same restaurants, same daily grind. Break the cycle. Take a dance class. Go kayaking. Start a garden.
My partner and I once thought our backyard looked too dull, so we redesigned it together. What started as a simple project became one of the most connective experiences of our relationship. We collaborated, made decisions, compromised, and built something beautiful—literally and metaphorically. Now, every time I look at that garden, I’m reminded of what we created together.
Final Thought
The path to deep intimacy isn’t always grand—it’s built in small moments: a shared laugh, an honest conversation, a trip that went wrong but felt right, a project you tackled side by side.
Ask yourself: What can I do today to feel closer to my partner?
Then do it.
The answer is the heartbeat of true connection.