5 Signs You're in a Bad Relationship

Are you dating a narcissist? Master Manipulator? Emotional Terrorist? Here are some signs that you are in a bad relationship. I was told these signs a million times by people over the past years, and I pushed them back saying “he isn’t abusive things aren’t that bad, he doesn’t hit me.” If you find that you are doing this and minimizing the abuse maybe you need to take a step back and honestly evaluate your relationship. So here is a list of 4 things to watch out for and can show you that maybe it’s time to move on from this relationship.

1.  He Controls everything.

And it starts with your activities together it’s with his friends, his hobbies, and it’s all in his time; the activities you want to do never seem to work out. He isolates you from your family; you don’t see them as often as you did. Soon you start making up excuses to the people you love on why you never see them and why he never comes to you. He sabotages your friendships making you think that you choose to get rid of your friends.  Then control goes on steroids, and you start working from home, you no longer have a car, and when you leave the house, he is texting and calling wondering who you are with and how long you will be.  Soon he controls the money, and you no longer have your own, even though you work for it. Now don’t get me started with the sex because that’s going to be controlled too. It will be his choice on his time and his way. You will be left unsatisfied and unfulfilled with life and the relationship and when you complain he will make you feel like everything wrong in the relationship is your fault. Like I said before he is in control of everything, so he is going to control the blame.  This is manipulation at its finest, and it will make you think you are crazy. Take a second and stay grounded; it takes two to tango so don’t think the bad relationship is all your fault.

2.  History of past Abuse.

How does your partner talk about his ex’s? Does he refer to them as crazy? When he talks about who he dated, did it end badly with each one?  You better think twice about being with someone that talks that way. There is a common denominator, and I don’t think it’s that he only finds crazy women to date. A strong, grounded, mature person doesn’t have to label someone as something to protect their ego. A man that has integrity can date remain friendly after it’s over. Listen to the ghosts of his past, they are telling you exactly who he is, and someone like this doesn’t find crazies he creates crazies.

3.  The giving and taking are not the same.

In a bad relationship, there will always be one person that is the taker and the other the giver. That’s how you have been able to stay with him so long but also the reason that you’re feeling drained. You’re giving everything and doing everything, and he will give you enough to keep you around.

4.  The game of emotional abuse: belittling and stonewalling.

Does he tell you things that are physically wrong with your body? Does he always fail to celebrate your successes? Does he stand up for you with friends or family? Does he call you his doormat? Then when you get upset (because these are all hurtful things), he then ignores you till you apologize for getting angry? This is all in the plan because if you think you aren’t enough for him, you get so low that you get to thinking you can’t live without him. You will bend over backward doing anything he wants to keep him around. No one deserves to be a doormat, close that door immediately and open another that will lift up the doormat, dust it off and treat you like the amazing woman you are.

5.  Cycle of abuse

Another reason you stay because when it is good, it’s SO GOOD. I remember crying after my ex, and I bought a house together, and we saged it and talked about all the positive things that were going to happen in the house. Well for once we did an activity I wanted to do.  And it was fun, happy, and he was all in and paying 100% attention to me. The high of things going well never lasts. Eventually, the honeymoon stage is over, and the cycle begins again. He will belittle, Stonewall or flat out choose anything or anyone over you; you then get upset and then you’re called crazy. Meanwhile, you think it’s your fault and stay because you  THINK you can learn not to be crazy. But in reality, you aren’t crazy, and anyone that gets belittled, stonewalled and flat out chosen last would be upset. You are Normal; You will find a reasonable person to love, and you will be fulfilled and completely healthy.

So if you can relate to this list and you think your relationship is very similar, Please Go! You’re beautiful, smart, strong, and even though you have been conditioned to think otherwise and even though it will be the hardest thing you have ever done; do it. He will never change, and you will stay unfulfilled and drained. You can have a best friend as a partner, someone that’s excited to see you. I remained in an abusive relationship for almost ten years, in the end after I changed my bad habits and worked on myself and came to find it still was not working because he didn’t want it too. I tried to leave three times before I did. It was the hardest thing I ever did. Now that it’s all over and I’ve been with an amazing man I have the relationship that mirrors my parents. I am so glad I did it. It took a long time to get here, and I’m so proud to be where I am and be who I am. We are both in love with each other and will do anything to make sure each other are happy. I didn’t think this existed, and I didn’t think a relationship could be natural, and it is.

Thanks for coming to the party today, I’m sorry it feels like such a downer, but it does end well. This story has ended happily ever after for me, and I hope this post helps change someone’s nightmare into a fairytale. Life is too short, and we only regret the things we never did. You won’t regret living a more fulfilled life and leaving the draining relationship. Let me know if you liked the post or it helped you in some way by commenting and sharing.

XOXO

5 Topics Couples Don’t Discuss Until It’s Too Late

Murphy’s Law teaches us one thing: if something can go wrong, it will. That’s why couples should talk through the tough topics before they become issues. Marriage is like building a fortress—its strength depends on how well you lay the foundation. A little prevention can go a long way in sparing you from sleepless nights, big fights, and avoidable heartache. Here are five conversations you should definitely have before you walk down the aisle.

1. Finances and Money Management

Love may be blind, but it still needs a budget.

Falling in love is beautiful and, let’s be honest, often irrational. No one starts planning a life together thinking about joint bank accounts or investment strategies—but you should. Financial conversations can feel uncomfortable, but they’re essential.

Discuss things like:

• Who pays for what?

• Do you save or spend?

• How will you handle debt or big purchases?

Long-term financial planning builds trust and clarity. And the fewer financial surprises, the more you’ll enjoy your life together.

2. Sex Life Expectations

Let’s talk about sex—really talk about it.

Sure, in the honeymoon phase, everything feels spicy and effortless. But over time, sex lives change. If you never discuss expectations around intimacy—how often, preferences, boundaries—you risk miscommunication and emotional distance.

Sexual connection can fluctuate, and that’s okay. What matters is having the openness to talk about it before you start feeling rejected or confused.

3. Spirituality and Belief Systems

Faith—or lack of it—can create conflict if you don’t plan ahead.

Maybe one of you is spiritual and the other is not. That might work perfectly fine until decisions about holidays, rituals, or raising children come up. If you don’t align, or at least respect each other’s values and find common ground, resentment can build.

Be honest: What values are non-negotiable? What are you willing to compromise on? When it comes to parenting, can you both respect duality, or is that a dealbreaker?

4. Career Goals and Timing for Kids

You can’t fast-track biology, but you can align on timing.

Marriage in today’s world often means two people chasing big goals. But if one of you wants to travel the world or go to grad school, while the other wants to start a family ASAP—you’re on two different timelines.

Have real conversations about:

• Career priorities

• Timeline for children (or not)

• Flexibility and compromise

Being honest about goals helps prevent resentment—and keeps you moving forward as a team.

5. In-Laws and Outside Influence

Your marriage should be built for two—not a crowd.

Unfortunately, some people don’t leave their parents emotionally. It’s important to discuss how much influence in-laws, friends, or others should have in your marriage.

Healthy boundaries early on will save you major stress later. Your decisions, your rules. Just make sure you’re both on the same page before the opinions start rolling in.

Final Thought

There are plenty of topics worth discussing before marriage—but these five are a solid place to start. Talk early, talk often, and talk honestly. Your future self will thank you.

10 Ways You Know You're in a Good Relationship

As you all know I am a relationship know-it-all, I can look at any couple and tell you how long they will last. If you believe this statement, then you are a fool. I am no expert, but I have had my heart broken and stepped on like the doormat. But I learn from my mistakes I can tell some definite signs that you are in a good relationship and since I'm in one, I can live to tell the tell. Here they are...

1. You are physically and mentally healthier.

   I have always struggled with my weight and my analytical mind. I have come to find that this amazing, handsome specimen calms my fears and pumps me up. I am in the best shape of my life and have a healthier, mind, body and soul.

2. No more "I can't" or "I won't."

   It hit me one day that I have to get to know myself again; I am no longer living in a bubble scared to go outside. I am in a relationship that has expanded my horizons.  In the past, I thought I was too dumb to do some of  the things that I am doing now. It's an amazing feeling to have someone that runs with you instead of holding you back. When you're with someone that speaks positively about you and to you, it helps change yourself talk to be more positive. The world unlocks itself when you take I can't, or I won't get out of your vocabulary.

3. Your goals are getting achieved.

   Firstly my goals are a lot higher or harder to reach, and I achieve them. I am with someone that is a go-getter, and he helps me with my goals, and we even have goals as a couple. We have a life that we are working towards achieving and it’s a great feeling to have someone that is growing with you.

4. Life is easier.

   I use to get so frustrated with things not working out, I've come to find that my man makes me laugh at these moments. He sees me for the imperfect person I am, and I don't feel stupid or ashamed; I feel heard and understood. Life gets a lot easier when you're laughing through the mistakes and failures as well as the good times.

5. The giving and the taking feels natural and equal.

   There might be days where I don't do as much around the house, and my man does the dishes and wipes the counters. We are are not counting who did what, we are picking up where the other left off; we are a team.

6. Less fighting more laughing.

   We hardly fight, I think we can we have fought once. I'm not saying that your relationship isn't good because you fight. We have been through some pretty stressful situations, and somehow we don't fight, it's just us. When one of us is upset or says something or does something snappy we call each other out on it and the person apologizing, and we move forward. It's not about the lack of fighting but about how you move forward when you do.

7. Honesty is the best policy.

   We always tell each other the truth, the brutal truth which sometimes means like I said in number 6 that you get called out. It might sting a little, but I would rather have a partner that helps me grow and be better than someone that keeps me stagnant just to save my feelings.

8. No secrets.

   You keep one secret from your partner and the secrets turn into the book of secrets, and soon it's what's keeping you from being honest with your partner. We made a rule always to tell the truth and say it as nicely as you can. Some things should only be between you and your partner and when you have that be sacred your relationship will follow. I will not let anyone or anything come in the way of my partner and me; he is the most important being. His secrets are my secrets, and that's what has brought us closer together.

9. Hours of talking and the honeymoon stage has ended.

   My man and I miss some important moments in our lives because we are too busy talking. We missed the Eiffel Tower lit up at night because we were chatty Kathy's in the hotel room. We are always late to meet friends because caught up in some conversation. We have been dating two years soon, and we still talk like we have just met. We talk about everything under the sun, and it's weird because we are with each other 24/7 together.  It also makes talking about hard things easier; we talk to understand not to respond.

10. Never stop choosing your partner first.

    I think this is the most important thing; your relationship will never work out if you don't put your partner first. I have had to tell myself "This person is my family and no one else matters." you start choosing your hobby or friends over the person and you might as well just wave your relationship goodbye. I'm not saying you can't see your friends, but everything comes in balance.

I hope your relationship is as good as mine and I'd love to keep adding to this list so comment below on what you think makes a good relationship.

Follow me on Facebook at Heidi Mae Searle

And Instagram @heidimaesearle

XOXO

Online Dating - You're Doing It Wrong

Smartphones and apps have opened the floodgates of free online dating. And why not? You can meet lots of interesting people online - more than you'll meet in a loud, smoky bar. You can filter them to make sure their age, appearance, background, and interests are compatible with yours. And it's fun. Research firm GlobalWebIndex reported in 2015 that 91 million people are using apps like Tinder. Why not? Tinder has millions and millions of users. Surely the person you're looking for has an account.

NEEDLE, MEET HAYSTACK

Maybe so. But Tinder's strength - that it is so widely used - is also its weakness. You're not looking to date millions of people. You're looking to find a particular someone.

General-purpose apps and dating websites try to convince you that having lots of members is a benefit. But in most cases, such sites are a waste of time. (That's one reason their customer ratings are so low.)

Suppose you’re interested solely in guys with beards. Or maybe someone who shares your religious background. A general-purpose dating app may let you set filters so you see only members who match your criteria.

But that doesn’t mean you’ll find lots of them. Like you, people in niche categories find general-interest dating sites and apps frustrating, inefficient, and boring. So you don’t find them there.

A MATTER OF FOCUS

Luckily, savvy website operators have created specialized dating sites for people with particular interests. You can now find a website to help you connect with guys with beards, or fellow Catholics, or big beautiful women, or guys with children, or women with tattoos, or married people interested in discreet relationships, or...well, you name it!

A niche dating site is more efficient because you don't have to wade through the profiles of lots of people who don't match your interests. Better yet, such a site is a community of people who share your attraction. You'll enjoy a real sense of community at a niche site. You can pick up useful online dating tips, chat with like-minded singles, and compare experiences.

A niche site attracts precisely the people you are looking for. And because it rewards their searches with qualified potential partners, they stay active. They tell their friends. The site becomes more and more useful over time.

Best of all, you can be sure that you'll find just the kind of dating partner you're looking for.

Let other singles waste their time swiping left and swiping right on Tinder. You're better off with a niche dating website where you can meet exactly who you're looking for.

Contributed by Dating VIP

What to Expect When... Getting Married

marriage, dating, dating advice, relationship advice, relationships, blog, blogger

First and foremost, I have a couple of exciting announcements: the Val’s Bytes podcast is coming back! After a year and a half in hibernation, it felt like the perfect time to relaunch—with a new format and a cohost. We recorded a few episodes already, and the banter is fantastic. I can’t wait to share the first one with you this week.

Now, onto the good stuff—marriage.

The other day, the Comedian and I were reflecting on what it really takes to prepare for marriage. When people buy a car or have a baby, they often spend hours doing research, weighing options, and thinking through every step. So why don’t we do the same when we’re about to commit to forever?

I lucked out. The Comedian was always intentional about building a strong foundation before we even thought about marriage or children. You can’t fix a relationship that’s already broken by simply adding more responsibility. It doesn’t work like that.

Some people think having a child or increasing physical intimacy will solve deeper issues. But it’s like addiction—your problems don’t vanish just because you’re distracted. They’re still waiting for you when the fog clears.

A good friend of mine once moved from Orlando to L.A. after a divorce, hoping a change of scenery would fix everything. But it didn’t. What helped was moving back home, where his support system could help nurse him back to life. Healing requires community, not distance.

I won’t pretend our relationship is perfect, but I will say this: we did the work. We read books, had tough conversations, and made it a point to truly understand one another. And trust me, the Comedian still has a few romantic surprises up his sleeve.

There’s a reason the court system in Florida offers a discount on your marriage license if you take a course beforehand—marriage is meant to last. And preparation matters. Take time to read books together, or go through those Pinterest-style "get to know you" questionnaires. (Yes, I’ve done those with the Comedian. They’re fun and surprisingly insightful.)

So to anyone out there dreaming of their prince charming: take the time to know him before calling him your king. Because sometimes, well… that prince could turn out to be a frog.

Here are a few great books and links to questionnaires to help you prep for your own “happily ever after”:

• The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

• Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married

• 100 Random Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

• 40 Personal Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

• 13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

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The Rise of Dating Apps – Infographic

There is no doubt about the fact that we have seen a phenomenal rise in the use of dating apps and websites in the last number of years. Societal and technological changes have contributed to this rise with people more accepting of casual relationships and also we have witnessed the proliferation of smartphones and the Internet. Tinder, Grindr, Badoo are just a few that are now synonymous in the world of dating but it might surprise you which app is actually the most popular in terms of downloads.

Our friends at Carvaka have put together this interesting infographic which details all the data and statistics that you need to know about the monumental rise in dating apps all over the world.

-Elizabeth Morris, Head of Content, Carvaka Sex Toys

The Settler vs The Reacher

Coincidentally, when I’m unsure of what to write about, life hands me a lemon—this time in the form of a How I Met Your Mother binge (round two). I landed on an episode where Marshall is told he’s the “reacher” and Lily is the “settler” in their relationship. Cue the plot twist: Lily gets jealous when a beautiful woman kisses Marshall, and she ends up knocking her out. Classic.

Around the same time, I was talking to a friend about his most recent situationship. He’s a self-proclaimed bachelor—divorced, newly relocated, and determined not to get serious again. Did I mention he looks like John Cena? Attractive, motivated, and emotionally unavailable. The woman he started dating? Financially well-off and deeply invested, despite his repeated disclaimers. She thought she could change his mind. She became the reacher.

That’s what sparked my own reflection.

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During my early 20s, I had zero desire to settle down. Yes, I had a boyfriend or two, but marriage? Not on my radar. I wanted to explore and have fun. I dated what I now call “mimbos”—good-looking guys with little else to offer. It was my way of reclaiming confidence after feeling like the “ugly duckling” growing up. (Insert tragic 90s school photo here—thanks, James.)

When I discovered hair mousse, tweezers, and eyeliner, I realized I could pair intelligence with confidence. Bring on the handsome men! But I never wanted to commit. I didn’t want to be the settler.

Eventually, after a broken engagement and a handful of dating disasters, I hit 27 and thought, “Okay… maybe it’s time.” That’s when I switched roles. I became the reacher—trying too hard for the guys I liked, while the ones who lacked depth repelled me. One guy even had a gold grill. Yeah… not exactly someone I could bring to brunch with my girls.

I even found myself chasing someone who wasn’t even my type—just for the sake of someone. That’s when it hit me: what I really craved was a mental connection. My love language is quality time, and all I wanted was someone I could actually connect with.

Now, after watching that HIMYM episode again, I wondered: in my relationship with the Comedian, am I the settler or the reacher?

And honestly? I don’t think either of us are. We both bring something real and valuable to the table. We challenge each other, we laugh, we grow, and we love hard. I guess I’ll let you be the judge.

Why Technology is Killing Intimacy

I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts yesterday—Heather Dubrow's World—and her guest, Dr. Drew Pinsky, said something that stuck with me: technology is getting in the way of intimacy.

Let’s be honest. With dating apps like Tinder, we’re choosing partners the same way we shop online—quick glances, snap judgments, and options galore. And yes, I was guilty of it too when I was single. I’d talk to five guys at a time (any more than that and I’d start confusing their stories). It was fun, sure, but was it intimate? Not even close.

When the initial connection is so superficial, the result is often a hookup—not a relationship. I’m not saying real love can’t be found online. It can. But like the movie He’s Just Not That Into You says: “That’s the exception, not the rule.”

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And it’s not just dating. Even in the workplace, I’ve noticed a growing reluctance to pick up the phone. As younger professionals join the workforce, I hear, “He hasn’t responded to my email yet,” instead of “I called and left a message.” It’s a sign of the times: texting and emailing have replaced real conversations.

This spills into our personal lives, too. I’ve been guilty of it myself. The Comedian, who’s older and wiser, often reminds me that a quick phone call can resolve an issue in seconds that texting might stretch out for hours. And he’s right.

If you’re truly looking for a real, intimate relationship, consider ditching the swiping culture and trying a more intentional platform like Match.com or eHarmony. Then—here’s a radical idea—call them. Talk. Hear their voice. Build a connection that’s more than pixels on a screen.

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We’re losing our ability to create deep bonds because we have a phone glued to our hands 75% of the time. Texting is convenient, but nothing beats eye contact, a real laugh, or hearing someone's voice when they say, “I miss you.”

Let’s not forget how to truly connect.

I'm Officially Mrs. Comedian!

It’s been a month and two days since I married The Comedian—and while I may be a little late sharing the details, what better time than now to reflect on the highs and lows of the big day? In short, it was everything I wanted: a big, beautiful party filled with good food, good music, and the people we love most.

Everyone asked me what I wanted out of our wedding, and my answer was simple: a fun celebration. And Orlando delivered. While many know the city for its theme parks, I’ve always loved showing off the other side of Orlando—its character, charm, and culture.

Wedding, blog, relationships, dating, marriage, the comedian, the beard and the mole

and what it used to be with some Spanish flair.  We had our wedding at tapas restaurant named Ceviche located right in the heart of downtown Orlando.  The brick streets and old buildings give the whole area of Church Street it’s character.  I could go into ghost stories about this particular area, but that would be an entirely different blog.  I have frequented this restaurant with a good friend of mine plenty of times to talk about business and life over champagne and great food.  The details in the woodwork all over the restaurant took me over the edge.  I was sold.  I had gone to other venues, but they didn’t appeal to me nearly as much.  The Comedian and I are a unique, creative couple and the venue needed to embody that.

A few months before the wedding, everything started to hit me hard.  I was struggling with the financials.  How was I going to pay for everything?  Then it hit me.  The florist I initially hired went bankrupt.  Say what?!?!  I went into a panic mode.  Kelly, the event coordinator at Ceviche, came to my rescue.  She gave me a couple of names, and I was put in touch with Jaimz at Florida Flowers and Orchids.  She quoted me less than the original florist, and the flowers turned out amazing.  The biggest debacle with this was, I had already paid in full.  Since the services were not rendered, the bank was able to help me out and I was credited the money for the flowers.

Situation diverted.

Finally, the day had arrived.  We had the rehearsal the night before and then I went out with friends, walked

Wedding, blog, relationships, dating, marriage, the comedian, the beard and the mole

That’s why we chose Ceviche, a Spanish tapas restaurant in the heart of downtown, as our venue. The brick streets and historic buildings of Church Street felt like the perfect backdrop for a unique and meaningful ceremony. I’ve shared many deep conversations at Ceviche over bubbly and great bites, so it only made sense to say “I do” there too.

Of course, like all weddings, there were hiccups. A few months out, the financial strain hit hard. And then—plot twist—the florist I’d already paid in full went bankrupt. Total panic. But thanks to Kelly at Ceviche and Jaimz at Florida Flowers and Orchids, we got it sorted. Jaimz gave us a better deal and delivered stunning arrangements. Bonus: I got the original payment refunded thanks to my bank.

Crisis averted.

The night before the wedding, we had a lovely rehearsal, followed by a peaceful solo stay at the Grand Bohemian Hotel. It was the calm before the storm—in a good way. I woke up early, giddy like a kid on Christmas, grabbed breakfast with my sister and friends at Le Gourmet Break (the croissants are life-changing), and returned to prep for the day.

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Karen from the Karmel Design Team worked her magic on my hair and makeup, while Maria from Events Unlimited by M kept the chaos at bay. If you’re a bride and don’t think you need a coordinator—trust me, you do. My OCD would’ve gone into overdrive without her.

Everything moved fast from there: makeup, flowers, photos, van rides, and finally… the aisle. My cousin played Spanish guitar as I walked toward The Comedian with both my mom and dad at my side. I saw his smile, and the rest of the world melted away.

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The ceremony was touching and funny, the reception was a blur of dancing, speeches, and snapshots. I got to share a special dance with my dad—a moment I’ll treasure forever. DJ Sparks kept the party lit, the photo booth was a hit (thanks, Mom!), and we ended the night riding off to the hotel in a pedicab, full hearts and all.

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Thank you to every single person who helped make this day unforgettable. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better way to become Mrs. Comedian.

P.S. I don’t have the pro photos yet, but here’s a sneak peek of the video:
🎥 Wedding Trailer - Sophia Rose Photography & Film

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I honestly could not have asked for a better night.  Thank you, everyone, who helped during this crazy time!

P.S.  I don’t have the professional pics yet, but when I do, I promise to share.  In the meantime, here’s a trailer from Sophia Rose.

https://vimeo.com/190464051

The Truth to Matchmaking

Every time I meet one of The Comedian’s guy friends, I get asked the same question: “Do you have any single girlfriends?” The answer is yes, I do—but whether I think they’re a good match is an entirely different story. Matchmaking is not just some casual hobby—it’s practically a science. You can’t just toss two single people together and expect magic. The Comedian swears I have a matchmaking addiction, and maybe he’s right. I love love. I want people to experience it as deeply as I do. But, spoiler alert: it’s not always that simple.

happy couple

I’ve definitely learned the hard way. Sometimes, people aren’t ready for a relationship. Other times, they just don’t want one. I remember recently talking with a friend about setting her up with someone I knew—a great catch, but living in another state. What I didn’t share was that he had zero interest in being in a relationship. Lesson learned: don’t force a romantic vision on someone who hasn’t asked for it.

When matchmaking does work, it’s usually because both people are open and ready. I once met a guy when I was single, and while there was no romantic chemistry between us, he described exactly what he was looking for. Immediately, I thought of someone who matched his criteria to a T. I brought him to a place where I knew she’d be—and five years later, they’re still together.

There’s also this: some people say they want love but haven’t done the work to be ready for it. That’s a hard truth to swallow. I always say, “You can’t be happy with someone else if you’re not happy with yourself.” I kissed a lot of frogs before I found my prince. The wild thing is, most of those frogs are still single—and not because they’re unlucky. It’s because they haven’t grown.

What drove me crazy when I was single was how inconsiderate some men were with time. If you make plans, show up—or at the very least, cancel. Basic decency, right? Some guys are just cowards. (Yeah, I said it.)

I see some of my girlfriends struggling with dating, and I get it—it’s brutal out there. But if you love yourself, exude confidence, and respect the feelings of others, you’re already ahead of the game. One of my go-to lines:

“You have to be the person you want to be in a relationship before you’re in a relationship.”

If you’re out partying three nights a week, fine—but consider how someone seeking real commitment might perceive that. A real partner wants peace, not pettiness. He’s not looking for someone to spiral because he forgot the anniversary of your first kiss.

Matchmaking isn’t just about chemistry—it’s about timing, emotional readiness, and intention. Love deserves thought. Always.