I'm Rubber, You're Glue

It’s late and I really should be reading an article for class—yes, I’m back in school pursuing my MBA. I’m not entirely sure where it’ll lead me, but the future feels full of promise. For now, I’m in one of those late-night reflective moods. A little random, a little philosophical.

Lately, I’ve found myself becoming more and more a student of human behavior. The more I experience and learn, the more I notice how easily egos can be bruised—especially when the hurt comes from someone we hold in high regard. I’m not immune to it. Sometimes it feels like one careless comment can slash straight through your confidence.

But then I remember that childhood comeback: “I’m rubber, you’re glue—whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.” Kids really had it right. What changed? I think puberty turned us all into emotional puddles.

We forget that the present is all we truly have. Not the past we can’t change or the future we can’t predict—but the now. And now is always the best moment if we let it be.

I’ve always tried to be an advocate for living life happily. Sure, bad things happen—losses, heartbreak, setbacks. But those are the things that teach us. They push us to grow. And through it all, I’ve realized one thing: the less you care about what people think, the more you get to be yourself. Fully. Unapologetically.

I know my friends and family love me for exactly that—my love of life, my goofy laugh, my corny jokes, and my random trivia I feel everyone must know. And that’s the best kind of love: the kind that grows when you stop shrinking yourself to fit someone else’s comfort.

So let the criticism bounce off. You’re rubber, remember?

Let people love you for being you.

Our Ego Makes Us Judge

"Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."
—Matthew 7:1–2 (KJV)

Society and scripture often feel like they’re at odds. While the Bible teaches us not to judge, social media and pop culture seem to encourage it. We scroll past people’s outfits, comment on their parenting styles, question how often they post—and Reality TV? It's made an empire out of drama and public opinion. We've become so accustomed to critiquing others that we often forget to reflect on how we should actually treat people.

I try to remind myself not to scrutinize others—it’s not my place. But I’ll be honest, there's still a quiet voice in my head that tries to override that. Judgment has become second nature in a world that rewards comparison. But if I truly believe that we are created in God’s image, then judgment isn’t my job. That’s His alone. Most religions share this sentiment: we are meant to love others, even when we don’t agree with them.

This has been hard for me to accept, especially because I’ve always felt this deep desire to help people. But somewhere along the line, I started confusing help with control. I wasn’t guiding them for them—I was trying to mold them into someone more like me. Someone once asked me:

“Why do you feel the need to correct people’s grammar? Is it for them, or for you?”

Oof. That question landed hard.

Because honestly, it was for me. It was about boosting my ego—feeling helpful, needed, or “right.” It took me a long time to understand that unsolicited help is often just another form of control. And control, at its core, is ego in disguise. When we try to orchestrate how others should act or speak, we're really just trying to comfort ourselves.

I’ve lived alone for a long time, and I know I’ve grown a little set in my ways. I like order. I like structure. But I’m realizing that clinging to control only leads to disappointment and stress. Letting go feels counterintuitive… but it's freeing.

Wedding planning is a perfect example. I’ve talked to a few guy friends going through it, and they’re frazzled. Why? Because everyone wants the day to be perfect. We obsess over details, timelines, and seating charts, thinking we can control the outcome. But in the end, the day unfolds how it’s meant to—bumps and all—and it's still beautiful. Just like life.

So here’s what I’m practicing: Let life happen. Let people be who they are. Offer help when it’s asked for. And above all, let go of judgment. There is peace in releasing control, and clarity when ego is set aside. Work hard, stay kind, and trust that things will unfold as they’re meant to.

Positivity Is Your Destiny

This morning sparked a fresh wave of motivation in me. During my vacation from work, I promised myself I’d spend time writing—but I wasn’t quite sure where the inspiration would come from.

Then, the Comedian sent me a text. It was a message from Joel Osteen, and everything clicked into place. He touched on something I had just been thinking about the day before: you are in charge of your destiny. If you walk through life with a negative mindset, negativity will follow. But if you decide to embrace positivity, great things begin to unfold.

While watching a video the Comedian shared, I saw this quote that stuck with me:

"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it." —Thomas Jefferson

It reminded me of stories I’ve heard over the years that fuel my own ambition. Like Jack Canfield, the author of Chicken Soup for the Soul. Struggling financially, he wrote himself a check for $100,000 and visualized receiving it. Not long after, he started selling articles for $1 each. He sold 100,000—and made that exact amount. Or Jim Carrey, who famously wrote himself a check for $10 million while still a struggling actor. Not long after, he was paid exactly that for Dumb and Dumber.

Now, maybe you're sitting there thinking, That would never happen to me. What makes me so special?

And that right there—that thought—is the problem. Self-doubt clouds your ability to receive. The truth is, you are special. You were born with something unique to offer this world. When you start envisioning your dreams as realities, when you move in faith instead of fear, life begins to shift. God works in ways we don’t always understand—but He does work.

People have told me all my life there’s something special about me. I haven’t fully uncovered what that is yet—but I’m not giving up. I believe I’m meant for something amazing. And you know what? So are you.

A couple of years ago, I came up with this quote, and I still stand by it:

“I refuse to believe misery is my destiny.”

You don’t have to accept unhappiness as your end. You are the author of your own story. Choose to write it with faith, hope, and positivity.

Because your destiny is waiting.

You're in Charge of Your Love Life

A comment was made to me recently that stirred up some emotions I hadn’t encountered in a while. I won’t repeat it—it’s not worth incriminating anyone—but it made me reflect on my dating journey.

I’ve told several people in my life how grateful I am to have met someone truly special at 30. Honestly, if I had settled down with the first person I fell in love with, I’d probably be unhappy now. If you’ve followed my blogs, you know I’ve met all kinds of men—each one teaching me something about what I truly want and need in a partner.

Call me naïve, but I genuinely believe that being single as long as I was prepared me to fully appreciate the Comedian. Sometimes, it feels like serendipity. I gave a few men second chances—trying to let go of the superficial standards I had in my early 20s—but those experiences flopped. And just when I gave up, shifted my focus, and stopped chasing... he appeared. Out of nowhere. Like God had been preparing me for him all along.

I don’t believe in a perfect person, but I do believe there’s a perfect person for me. And that’s what really matters.

That comment—the one that hit a nerve—reminded me that I do know what I have, and I am lucky. But more importantly, it reminded me how essential it is to know yourself. Know your wants. Your needs. Your limits. Your growth edges. No one else can define your destiny except you.

I recently rewatched The Wedding Date, and one quote hit me:

“Every woman has the exact love life she wants.”

At first, I bristled. But then I thought about it more. There’s a reason we date certain people, even the wrong ones. My advice? Get curious about those patterns. Dig deep. Ask yourself: What am I looking for? What am I avoiding? What am I attracting, and why?

Because once you know those answers, your love life starts aligning with your actual desires—not just your fears or habits. And that’s when the real magic begins.

You’re in charge of your love life. Always.

Is Rejection Worth the Risk?

bar-scene-07

I realized I haven’t posted in a while—but I promise to add new content more regularly this coming year. I’ll be starting my MBA in January, but you know what? Challenge accepted.

For whatever reason, I find it fascinating when the Comedian gives dating advice to his younger cousins. It’s not that what he says isn’t valid—it’s that it all makes complete sense. It’s like a window into the male brain. Since we met online, he never had to hit on me at a bar or throw out some cringey pickup line. But hearing his perspective still gives me a deeper understanding of the dating world from the other side.

I’ve spent years being single, dating, observing, laughing (sometimes crying) through it all—and I’ve definitely formed my own theories. For example: I’ve learned to smile when I want someone to come over. To laugh at their jokes (even if they’re bad). And I’ve come to admire what men deal with when it comes to rejection. Society often expects them to take charge, to initiate, to risk the “no.” Women have gotten bolder over the years—thankfully—but I’ll admit: when I’ve taken the lead, I’ve sometimes felt out of place. Too forward. Too masculine.

And let’s be honest: when I’ve approached a guy, about 75% of the time, I’ve been rejected. But when someone approaches me? There’s a 90% success rate for at least a decent conversation.

Now, I’m not saying don’t shoot your shot—by all means, do what works for you. I’ve just learned that for me, it’s more effective to make space for the connection to happen rather than force it. I also try to make the conversation about the other person, not me. The more I know about someone, the easier it is to see if we’re aligned. But again—that’s what works for me.

I said something the other day that felt like the most “me” metaphor possible:

“Dating is like math—there are different ways to get to the answer, but all that matters is you have the correct answer in the end.”

No matter who you are, there’s always a risk of rejection. But don’t let that stop you. There really are plenty of fish in the sea. And if someone doesn’t feel it, that just means they’re not your person.

My best friend once told me something I’ll never forget:

“If he doesn’t get your jokes, he’s not for you.”

And she was right. I have a unique sense of humor—equal parts dry, nerdy, and corny. I needed someone who would laugh with me or at least laugh because I’m laughing. Thankfully, the Comedian gets my jokes. Or at least pretends to, which is almost better.

So here’s my point: if you never take the chance, you’ll never know the outcome. Go for it. Risk the “no.” Because the worst that could happen? She says it. And you go on with your day. But the best that could happen? You find someone who laughs at your jokes—and gets you.

And that’s always worth the risk.

No One Likes the Same Flavor of Ice Cream

ice cream cones

In the mornings, I like to indulge in a little talk radio. I know it’s not the healthiest habit, but there’s something comforting about listening to other people ramble about their opinions—until the topic turns shallow. That’s when I quickly changed the station to something with no talking, just good music.

The other day, though, one segment really got to me. The hosts were discussing whether people get upset when they spend time getting ready—hair, makeup, outfit—and no one compliments them. Honestly, it made me a little sad. Not because of the topic itself, but because it showed how many people rely on validation from others to feel beautiful.

I might sound judgmental saying this, but really—who cares?! Beauty comes from the inside. I’ve learned over the years that when I exude confidence and feel beautiful, others notice naturally. Growing up, my younger sister and I couldn’t have been more different. She was thin, popular, the one everyone noticed. I was awkward, insecure, and unsure of myself for most of middle and high school. She made it a bit of a competition to have all the boys like her, and for a long time, I felt invisible.

Then, one day—someone liked me instead of her. Shocking, right?

But here’s the thing: it didn’t really matter. Because I came to understand something powerful—the same guys who liked her weren’t going to be into me, and that’s okay. We were different. We are different. Different styles, different personalities, different everything.

And that’s where my favorite analogy comes in:

"No one likes the same flavor of ice cream. They just might not like my flavor."

That doesn’t make my flavor any less awesome.

What bothered me about that radio topic was the way it justified insecurity. Like if you spend two hours getting ready, it only matters if someone notices. But the truth is—do it for you. Get dressed up, take time for yourself, wear the thing that makes you feel like magic. That glow? That’s yours. And you don’t need applause for it to matter.

There’s a saying:
"Dress for the job you want."

But I’d argue—dress for the life you want. Show up for yourself in a way that reflects how you want to feel. Beautiful. Confident. Whole.

You don’t need everyone to like your flavor.
Just make sure you do.

The Fall Air

Fall Leaves

Something about fall always brings back a flood of memories. The air smells different—yes, even in Florida. There’s something about it that signals the holidays are coming. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it stirs something in me. A shift. My emotions change with the season.

When I went away to college, I told myself I could handle the transition. I was a military brat, after all—adaptability was supposed to be in my DNA. But I didn’t realize how much I relied on the structure of my family to feel grounded. That year, everything around me was changing. My mom remarried, my sister moved away with her boyfriend, and my relationship with my father felt distant. I was navigating a new world and completely lost in it.

That was when the depression first hit. I tried to put on a strong face, but inside I was unraveling. Eventually, I reached out for help and started counseling. That’s when I was diagnosed with seasonal depression—the kind that creeps in during specific times of the year. For me, it was fall.

Year after year, the darkness would return. I’d crave a sense of family, a feeling of belonging. More than anything, I wanted to celebrate the holidays somewhere I felt truly accepted. Instead, I often found myself curled up in my room, sleeping until the afternoon because the darkness felt safer than the light.

Over time, I learned to manage the emotional spiral. There were even a few years where the heaviness skipped me entirely. But then last year, it returned. That same aching loneliness. I’d look at people and feel tears welling up for no reason. I felt invisible—until something shifted.

I watched The Secret, and for the first time in a long while, I felt hopeful. It reminded me that happiness doesn’t come from the people who surround you—it begins with you. I realized I’d been waiting to receive love, when I already had it. I was rich in friendships, in memories, in lessons. And above all, I was never truly alone.

God has always been there—quiet, steady, and faithful. In Him, I found not just peace, but family, friendship, and purpose.

There’s no point in living life under a cloud of negativity. Everyone has their own story, their own pain. But like I always say: what shapes you isn’t just what you’ve been through—it’s how you choose to grow from it.

The Urge to Write

overcome-writers-block

It’s been a couple of weeks since I last wrote in my infamous blog. Writer’s block? Maybe. Or maybe life has just been… a lot lately.

Since moving in with the Comedian, things have been nonstop. Work got wild, social plans multiplied, and suddenly our weekends aren’t so much ours as they are another square on the calendar. I long for the lazy mornings where I could look at him and ask, “So what do you want to do today?” These days, it’s more like, “Babe, what do we have scheduled this weekend?”

Don’t get me wrong—this isn’t a complaint. I’ve calmed down quite a bit since my wild college years (and let’s be real, finding my party-loving Orlando crew didn’t help back then either). But now? Babies and pregnancies are popping up in my friend group like whack-a-moles at a carnival. My coworkers love to joke that I’m next. I just smile and say, “Not yet—I haven’t been drinking the water.”

Recently though, I’ve been filling my quiet moments with podcasts—and honestly, I have the Comedian to thank for that. It started with his favorite, Bill Burr, and spiraled into binge-listening to creators like Pat Flynn and my latest obsession, Entrepreneurs on Fire. My mind’s been racing ever since. So many ideas. So many dreams. And right in the middle of it all is this urge—this calling—to write.

I know this blog is only the beginning. I know it’s going to evolve, just like I have. And maybe one day, I’ll look back on these entries as the seeds of something much bigger. Something I was destined to do.

Thank you, truly, for reading. Here’s to finding time, even when it feels like there’s none. ✨

Yes, Some Girls Love Football

I laughed to myself as I read this meme. I find it comical that for the longest time, I continually dated guys who didn't watch sports.  It was a bit of a conundrum to me.  The biggest complaint I've heard or read from other article was that men would watch sports and ignore their significant other.  But yet, I wasn't dating those guys.  I actually find it attractive that I can bond with a guy through sports.  What if the girl you were with were cheering along with you?  That was me.

As a matter of fact, the group of girls I hang with now all watch football.  When I first started dating the Comedian, several years ago, he looked at me and said, "You're amazing."  I smiled and asked, "Why?"He looked at me and replied, "Because you watch football and drink beer and eat wings."  I snickered, "Most of my girlfriends do."

I guess its a rare breed.  As a matter of fact, I am a Florida Gator and  New York Giants fan.  Even though either team is not performing at their absolute best this season, I still will watch with passion, as well as entertain any arguments about their performance.   I do get upset when they lose and hear all of the people who root for opposing teams jam up my news feed with teasing remarks.  But its all part of the game.  Once, the Comedian's father asked me why I love it and I replied that it was because of the camaraderie, the passion for the sport, and the challenge of the game.  He agreed.

At the end of the day, I am looking forward to the next game.  When it's Spring, I miss football season and I am excited for the next tailgating event.  It doesn't matter what you're passionate about but don't change yourself to fit your guy's needs.  He will love you regardless :-)

I leave with you with a photo of all of us on the way to a NY Giants game in Atlanta.

photo

The Next Step

It’s been 10 blissful months with the love of my life—The Comedian.
I might get a little sappy in this post, but I promise there’s a point.

We’re taking the next big step: moving in together.
On Sunday, we picked up the keys to our new apartment—our names side by side on the lease. It’s a simple piece of paper, but it represents something huge. Any step with another person deserves thought and care—but sometimes, you just know it’s right.

At his cousin’s birthday party on Saturday night, The Comedian shared something that melted me. His cousin had asked, “This is a big step—are you ready?” And without hesitation (at least in the version I play in my head), he replied:

“When you know it’s the right person, it’s not such a big step. It’s just what’s supposed to happen.”

Cue the internal cartwheels.

That moment stuck with me—not just because it made me swoon, but because it’s true.
We live in a world saturated by reality TV drama and toxic relationships, so we start believing that love is supposed to be hard. But it doesn’t have to be. Peaceful, steady love is a thing—and I’m living proof.

Before dating The Comedian, a friend once told me, “When you know, you know.”
I didn’t fully understand it back then. But now? I get it. There’s something so sacred about feeling at ease with your partner. In past relationships, I’d find myself worrying:
Do I need to babysit him at social events?
Will he embarrass me in front of friends?
Am I going to be the one carrying all the weight?

With The Comedian, none of that crosses my mind. He shows up. He respects me. He sees me.

He’s taught me what it means to be treated the way a woman deserves to be treated.
With kindness. With presence. With peace.

So here’s what I’ll leave you with:
Don’t settle for chaos. Don’t make excuses for someone else’s bad behavior.
Your partner should feel like your safe space—not your stressor.

In my case, he’s my partner in peace. 💛