You're in Charge of Your Love Life

A comment was made to me recently that stirred up some emotions I hadn’t encountered in a while. I won’t repeat it—it’s not worth incriminating anyone—but it made me reflect on my dating journey.

I’ve told several people in my life how grateful I am to have met someone truly special at 30. Honestly, if I had settled down with the first person I fell in love with, I’d probably be unhappy now. If you’ve followed my blogs, you know I’ve met all kinds of men—each one teaching me something about what I truly want and need in a partner.

Call me naïve, but I genuinely believe that being single as long as I was prepared me to fully appreciate the Comedian. Sometimes, it feels like serendipity. I gave a few men second chances—trying to let go of the superficial standards I had in my early 20s—but those experiences flopped. And just when I gave up, shifted my focus, and stopped chasing... he appeared. Out of nowhere. Like God had been preparing me for him all along.

I don’t believe in a perfect person, but I do believe there’s a perfect person for me. And that’s what really matters.

That comment—the one that hit a nerve—reminded me that I do know what I have, and I am lucky. But more importantly, it reminded me how essential it is to know yourself. Know your wants. Your needs. Your limits. Your growth edges. No one else can define your destiny except you.

I recently rewatched The Wedding Date, and one quote hit me:

“Every woman has the exact love life she wants.”

At first, I bristled. But then I thought about it more. There’s a reason we date certain people, even the wrong ones. My advice? Get curious about those patterns. Dig deep. Ask yourself: What am I looking for? What am I avoiding? What am I attracting, and why?

Because once you know those answers, your love life starts aligning with your actual desires—not just your fears or habits. And that’s when the real magic begins.

You’re in charge of your love life. Always.