You're in charge of your love life

A comment was made to me recently which stirred up some emotions I hadn't encountered in a while.  I won't mention the comment because I don't want to incriminate anyone.  It made me look back on my adventures of dating.  I had mentioned to several people in my life that I'm happy that I am 30 and found someone who is very special to me.  I think if I were to settle down with the first person I was in love with, I would be unhappy at this point. If you have followed my blogs, you know that I have encountered many different kinds of men who have taught me a thing or two about what I ultimately want in the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.  Call me naiive if you must but I sincerely feel that being single as long as I had been prepared me to truly appreciate the Comedian. Sometimes I feel it was serendipitous how it all happened.  There were a few men who I gave chances more than once because I didn't want to be the superficial person that I had been in my early 20s.  Those experiences flopped.  But when I did give up and decided to focus on something else, he literally came out of nowhere.  I think God was just preparing me for the Comedian.

I don't believe there is a perfect person but there is a perfect person for me.  That's all that matters in the end.  That comment made just made me realize that I do know what I have and I am very lucky.  My point is to know yourself.  Know yourself, your wants, and your needs.  Only you are in charge of your own destiny.  Funny, I saw a movie recently which said,

"Every woman has the exact love life she wants" - The Wedding Date

There is a reason you date a certain guy. My advice is to search deep down within yourself and figure out what that reason is. In the long run, you will be a happier person. Only you are in charge of your destiny.

The Next Step

It has been 10 blissful months with the love of my life, the Comedian.  I might get a little sappy in this post but I promise I have a point.  We are taking that next big step, moving in together.  On Sunday, we picked up the keys to our apartment where the lease has both of our names.  I believe any step taken with another person does require thought and consideration, however, sometimes you just know it's right. On Saturday night, we were at his cousin's house for a birthday party.  The Comedian mentioned to me that he was talking to his cousin regarding our new move.  He said, "This is a big step, are you ready?"  The Comedian didn't hesitate (in my head this is how the story went), he said,"When you know it's the right person, it isn't so big.  It's just the way its supposed to be."  Granted, I did do cartwheels in the back of my head when I heard this response but it was very true.  Sometimes we put emphasis on things that might seem like they are supposed to be complicated but what I've learned through this relationship that every move we've made, has just been the right one.  We live in a world of reality TV and dramas, so we expect our lives to be one but it doesn't have to be.

I remember having a conversation with a friend before dating The Comedian and he said, "When you know, you know".  It is so true.  Something about feeling at ease when you're with someone is the most peaceful feeling that I have experienced thus far.  In my past relationships, I would worry, do I need to babysit him?  Do I need to hold his hand around my friends?  Do I need to take care of everything?  The Comedian has shown me what its like to be treated the way a woman is supposed to be treated.

Don't ever settle for making excuses for your significant other.  I have been guilty of that as well.  They are supposed to be your partner.  In my case, my partner in peace ;-).