You're in Charge of Your Love Life

A comment was made to me recently that stirred up some emotions I hadn’t encountered in a while. I won’t repeat it—it’s not worth incriminating anyone—but it made me reflect on my dating journey.

I’ve told several people in my life how grateful I am to have met someone truly special at 30. Honestly, if I had settled down with the first person I fell in love with, I’d probably be unhappy now. If you’ve followed my blogs, you know I’ve met all kinds of men—each one teaching me something about what I truly want and need in a partner.

Call me naïve, but I genuinely believe that being single as long as I was prepared me to fully appreciate the Comedian. Sometimes, it feels like serendipity. I gave a few men second chances—trying to let go of the superficial standards I had in my early 20s—but those experiences flopped. And just when I gave up, shifted my focus, and stopped chasing... he appeared. Out of nowhere. Like God had been preparing me for him all along.

I don’t believe in a perfect person, but I do believe there’s a perfect person for me. And that’s what really matters.

That comment—the one that hit a nerve—reminded me that I do know what I have, and I am lucky. But more importantly, it reminded me how essential it is to know yourself. Know your wants. Your needs. Your limits. Your growth edges. No one else can define your destiny except you.

I recently rewatched The Wedding Date, and one quote hit me:

“Every woman has the exact love life she wants.”

At first, I bristled. But then I thought about it more. There’s a reason we date certain people, even the wrong ones. My advice? Get curious about those patterns. Dig deep. Ask yourself: What am I looking for? What am I avoiding? What am I attracting, and why?

Because once you know those answers, your love life starts aligning with your actual desires—not just your fears or habits. And that’s when the real magic begins.

You’re in charge of your love life. Always.

The Next Step

It’s been 10 blissful months with the love of my life—The Comedian.
I might get a little sappy in this post, but I promise there’s a point.

We’re taking the next big step: moving in together.
On Sunday, we picked up the keys to our new apartment—our names side by side on the lease. It’s a simple piece of paper, but it represents something huge. Any step with another person deserves thought and care—but sometimes, you just know it’s right.

At his cousin’s birthday party on Saturday night, The Comedian shared something that melted me. His cousin had asked, “This is a big step—are you ready?” And without hesitation (at least in the version I play in my head), he replied:

“When you know it’s the right person, it’s not such a big step. It’s just what’s supposed to happen.”

Cue the internal cartwheels.

That moment stuck with me—not just because it made me swoon, but because it’s true.
We live in a world saturated by reality TV drama and toxic relationships, so we start believing that love is supposed to be hard. But it doesn’t have to be. Peaceful, steady love is a thing—and I’m living proof.

Before dating The Comedian, a friend once told me, “When you know, you know.”
I didn’t fully understand it back then. But now? I get it. There’s something so sacred about feeling at ease with your partner. In past relationships, I’d find myself worrying:
Do I need to babysit him at social events?
Will he embarrass me in front of friends?
Am I going to be the one carrying all the weight?

With The Comedian, none of that crosses my mind. He shows up. He respects me. He sees me.

He’s taught me what it means to be treated the way a woman deserves to be treated.
With kindness. With presence. With peace.

So here’s what I’ll leave you with:
Don’t settle for chaos. Don’t make excuses for someone else’s bad behavior.
Your partner should feel like your safe space—not your stressor.

In my case, he’s my partner in peace. 💛