Our Ego Makes Us Judge

"Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."
—Matthew 7:1–2 (KJV)

Society and scripture often feel like they’re at odds. While the Bible teaches us not to judge, social media and pop culture seem to encourage it. We scroll past people’s outfits, comment on their parenting styles, question how often they post—and Reality TV? It's made an empire out of drama and public opinion. We've become so accustomed to critiquing others that we often forget to reflect on how we should actually treat people.

I try to remind myself not to scrutinize others—it’s not my place. But I’ll be honest, there's still a quiet voice in my head that tries to override that. Judgment has become second nature in a world that rewards comparison. But if I truly believe that we are created in God’s image, then judgment isn’t my job. That’s His alone. Most religions share this sentiment: we are meant to love others, even when we don’t agree with them.

This has been hard for me to accept, especially because I’ve always felt this deep desire to help people. But somewhere along the line, I started confusing help with control. I wasn’t guiding them for them—I was trying to mold them into someone more like me. Someone once asked me:

“Why do you feel the need to correct people’s grammar? Is it for them, or for you?”

Oof. That question landed hard.

Because honestly, it was for me. It was about boosting my ego—feeling helpful, needed, or “right.” It took me a long time to understand that unsolicited help is often just another form of control. And control, at its core, is ego in disguise. When we try to orchestrate how others should act or speak, we're really just trying to comfort ourselves.

I’ve lived alone for a long time, and I know I’ve grown a little set in my ways. I like order. I like structure. But I’m realizing that clinging to control only leads to disappointment and stress. Letting go feels counterintuitive… but it's freeing.

Wedding planning is a perfect example. I’ve talked to a few guy friends going through it, and they’re frazzled. Why? Because everyone wants the day to be perfect. We obsess over details, timelines, and seating charts, thinking we can control the outcome. But in the end, the day unfolds how it’s meant to—bumps and all—and it's still beautiful. Just like life.

So here’s what I’m practicing: Let life happen. Let people be who they are. Offer help when it’s asked for. And above all, let go of judgment. There is peace in releasing control, and clarity when ego is set aside. Work hard, stay kind, and trust that things will unfold as they’re meant to.

Kill 'em with Kindness

What an interesting morning!

On my way to work, I was about to take a right onto a major street. While looking left for traffic, I must’ve let my foot off the brake just enough to gently roll into the car in front of me. Insta-accident. Thankfully, it wasn’t anything major—just a couple of scuffs on her bumper. I got out and asked the driver to pull into the business lot next to us to get out of traffic. I could tell she was initially upset, and understandably so.

She told me she was going to report the accident so she wouldn't be stuck paying for the damage. I’ll be honest—my first thought wasn’t the most gracious one. But then I realized: this was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention. And how I handled this moment could shift the entire tone of the interaction.

So, I owned up to it. I offered her a copy of my insurance right away (thank you, insurance app), and explained I’d already filed a claim. That’s when she softened. She told me she didn’t mean to be a pain—it’s just that her car is leased, and she didn’t want to get stuck with the cost. “If your insurance covers it, that’s all I’m asking,” she said. And in that moment, I saw her not as an angry driver—but as a human being, trying to navigate life like the rest of us.

She even mentioned there was no need to get the police involved since we were handling everything ourselves. At the end, she thanked me for being so nice and helpful.

That little exchange reminded me: kindness always has the power to change a situation. Accidents happen. What matters is how we respond to them. We can’t undo the past, but we can choose how we show up in the present. Being kind doesn’t cost a thing, and sometimes it makes all the difference.