What’s Your Last Name Again? Yeah... That Matters.

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You really don’t know a person until you know, ummm… their last name?

Recently, a good friend of mine decided to dive into the online dating world after a pretty traumatizing breakup. I gently warned her that she might not be ready for dating just yet, so I suggested she try a free dating site—just to get her feet wet. Little did I know, she was about to get a crash course in dating red flags.

One day, she showed me a picture of a guy she had just started talking to. According to her, he was the whole package—into sports, had a son, sexy voice, the works. I was skeptical from the beginning. Something about the whole thing felt... off. Especially when he asked her to meet him at his job—a busy restaurant in Winter Park.

That Saturday, I tagged along. I figured, if nothing else, I’d get to scope out this guy and maybe score a few freebies. We sat at the bar and she nervously texted him that she was there. It was honestly adorable—she looked like a giddy schoolgirl. And when he finally walked by, she lit up. “He looks so much better in person!” she whispered.

He passed by a few more times, and eventually invited us to join him at a bar later. A friend of mine joined too—because let’s be honest, I wasn’t trying to third wheel all night. We didn’t exactly get the VIP hookup at the restaurant, but hey, there was a discount. (Side note: If a guy invites you somewhere, he should at least offer to pay. Just sayin’.)

After that night, the two of them kept talking. They made plans for lunch the following week, then a Saturday night out. At some point, she casually asked him, “Hey, I don’t even know your last name.” He paused for a second, then replied, “Fernandez.”

Cool. All good, right?

Fast forward to Saturday night—we were downtown with some of my old college friends. She peeled off to meet up with her “Fernandez” for drinks. As they ordered, the bartender asked for a name to put the tab under. His response? “Lopez.”

LOPEZ???

Yeah. Huge red flag. Naturally, we did what any self-respecting woman in 2020-something would do—we Googled him. And girl, the mugshot came up like a horror story. Along with multiple domestic violence charges.

Once he realized she heard him drop the wrong last name, he conveniently disappeared. Poof. Gone.

All I can say is—some men in the dating world are just not datable. Check the receipts, ladies. That last name might tell you everything you need to know.