The Power of Forgiveness: Releasing the Past to Embrace Peace

Over the last few months, I’ve been on a journey to rediscover who I am—and to finally let go of everything that’s held me back. I know I’ve touched on this before, but recently, it feels like I’ve come face-to-face with a wall I didn’t know I’d built. A wall made of unspoken pain, shame, and the lingering shadows of my past.

In my effort to become the best version of myself—not just for me, but also for my new relationship—I’ve been pushed to confront parts of myself I thought were long buried. For the longest time, I kept one specific year of my life very private. I didn’t want it to define me. I didn’t want to seem like a burden.

But I’ve come to realize this: the people who truly care about you don’t see you as broken or damaged. They see you as you. Strong. Whole. Beautiful. And worthy of love.

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to dig deep into my hidden pain. It wasn’t easy. But something extraordinary happened—I felt a shift. A spiritual release. I’m not one to preach, but I need to say this: there is power in what Jesus did for us. By taking on our pain, He gave us a path to freedom from shame. We don’t have to carry the sins of others or the lies they told us about ourselves.

Forgiveness—real, raw forgiveness—is powerful. For a long time, I thought I was strong because I had buried the pain and numbed myself to it. But I now understand: true strength is in facing the pain, feeling it, and letting it go. It’s saying, “I see what happened. I acknowledge it. And I forgive you—not for you, but for me.”

That kind of strength can’t be faked. And though I still have some forgiving to do, I feel lighter. More whole. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m really starting to live.

All at Once: When Old Lovers Come Crawling Back Around Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, and I’ve noticed something strange—when you’re finally happy, people from your past seem to come crawling out of the woodwork. I don’t know if it’s because they sense I’m in a relationship or if something about this time of year makes them nostalgic. Maybe they got hit with a Cupid arrow of regret. Who knows?

Let me be clear: I have zero intention of straying. I am utterly and completely in love. But over the last two days, I’ve received messages from the most random people—ghosts of relationships past, if you will.

Apparently, this is a thing. Like the universe decides to test you when you're finally in a good place. It's almost laughable. Am I supposed to fumble the bag for someone who once ghosted me? I’d need a bigger temptation—say, I don’t know… Vin Diesel?

Here’s the truth: I know these people from the past have nothing to offer me but confusion, frustration, and maybe a regret spiral or two. There’s a reason things didn’t work out. I’ve done the trial and error, lived through the drama, and journaled the heartbreak. I know better now.

So here’s a gentle reminder (to myself and maybe to you, too): Stick with what brings you peace. Old habits—and old flames—die hard. But they don’t deserve to burn down the good thing you’ve got going.

Positive thinking, intention, and a clear mind have brought me to this better version of myself. I’m not about to let someone else's indecision or nostalgia pull me back into a storm I’ve already survived.

Young Minds & Real Talk: What Falling in Love Should Feel Like

I haven’t written in a while—and that’s because, believe it or not, I haven’t had any gripes about dating. In fact, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Yep, this formerly neurotic woman has found herself in a healthy, happy relationship. Wild, right?

What I’ve found fascinating in this new season of contentment is that I still have the urge to help others navigate the confusing, chaotic world of dating. Last weekend, I was riding in a car full of early-20-somethings—mostly guys and one girl—and something in me kicked into “big sister” mode. I wanted to protect them from the games, confusion, and heartbreak I know too well. One guy in particular started firing off questions like he was prepping for a pop quiz on love. His biggest concern? What to look for in the perfect woman.

Ah, young minds.

I told him something I wish I had fully grasped in my twenties: There’s no such thing as a perfect person—only the perfect person for you. He also asked if it mattered whether a girl had dated a lot in the past. I had to laugh on the inside (hello, dating blog history). The answer? No, it doesn’t matter. What matters is how you make each other feel and the kind of commitment you’re willing to give each other now.

We spend so much time worrying about how things are supposed to be, when sometimes love just is. No rules, no gimmicks—just connection. Just effort. Just showing up as yourself.

I might sound like a hopeless romantic or a free spirit floating on cloud nine, but a good friend once told me, “When it’s right, it feels easy.” And I believe that now more than ever. Falling for someone isn’t supposed to be a constant power struggle or a guessing game. It’s supposed to feel natural. Safe. Like home.

Don’t let your insecurities or your past convince you that history will always repeat itself. Because it won’t—especially when you finally get it right.

What You Think About Is What You Bring About

Over the past few months, I’ve been fully embracing the power of positive thinking and the Law of Attraction, especially as described in The Secret. I’ve also been diving into other books with similar themes, and let me just say—it’s been a journey. A few months ago, I went through a rough patch emotionally, and I never want to feel that way again.

Since then, I’ve been practicing letting go of negative thoughts and becoming more intentional with my energy. I never realized how much negativity ran through my mind on autopilot—until I started correcting myself. Now, even when I’m texting someone, I catch myself mid-sentence and rewrite it to avoid putting out negative energy. It’s amazing how much more aware I’ve become.

I’m far from perfect, but I truly believe that positivity attracts positive outcomes. I’m working toward becoming the version of myself that I know I’m meant to be. Deep down, I’ve always felt like I’m destined for more than where I am right now—and I think that inner pull is what keeps me reaching, evolving, and writing. Writing has always been my way of releasing those swirling thoughts and making space for clarity.

Lately, I’ve also been reflecting on how much of what’s around me now—the friends I love, the opportunities I’ve created, the social circle I value—are things I once hoped for. And somehow, here they are. That’s not luck. That’s intention. That’s alignment.

I recently told someone, “Everything in front of me is a reflection of the thoughts I’ve nurtured.” And I believe that wholeheartedly. I wanted connection. I wanted growth. I wanted purpose. And even though I’m still a work in progress, I can already see the fruits of those intentions beginning to bloom.

So yes, it’s true: what you think about is what you bring about. Choose those thoughts wisely. They’re the seeds of your future.

The A.D.D. of Dating in the Age of Technology

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Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how technology has completely changed the dating game. I mean, only ten years ago, we were counting how many text messages we sent and waiting until after 9 PM to make free phone calls. Facebook wasn’t a thing yet, and most of us were still talking on cordless phones. I had one with the longest extension cord known to man, just so I could stay up talking into the late hours without waking anyone up. That feels like a lifetime ago.

Now? Everything is instant. Texting is unlimited. Everyone has a phone on them 24/7—and no one even talks on it. We text. We DM. We snap. Communication is literally at our fingertips. So how does this shift change how we date?

Back then, the thrill was in the waiting. A girl would run home hoping the guy she liked had left her a message. Now, we carry that anticipation in our pocket... and it’s exhausting. The accessibility has created a new kind of pressure. If we don’t get a reply in 30 minutes, we start to spiral. “Did I say something wrong?” “Is he ghosting me?” “Should I text again?” And with all that noise, the magic of mystery is lost.

We’ve become so addicted to instant gratification—if we don’t know something, we Google it. If we want to connect, we text. If we want to share, we post. But here’s the problem: dating now moves at the speed of a data plan. That once-simmering anticipation? It’s gone. Relationships often burn fast and fizzle just as quickly.

I’ve noticed this pattern in my own dating life. That early stage where you’re getting to know someone? It’s now filled with daily, almost non-stop texting. And let’s be real—sometimes, it’s just too much too fast. There’s no build-up. No time to wonder. Just constant interaction that can blur real feelings with digital noise.

Ladies (and yes, I’m talking to myself here too): if you get annoyed when a guy keeps asking, “Are you okay? Why haven’t you responded?”—flip the mirror. We can be just as guilty. Smothering someone with attention doesn’t make them fall faster. It usually has the opposite effect.

The truth? Less is more. Let someone miss you. Let them think. Let them feel. Don’t confuse texting chemistry with actual connection. Real emotion takes time, space, and silence to grow. I once read that “your emotions are your true thoughts—don’t let your head get in the way.”

So give it a beat. Let it breathe. If it’s meant to be, it won’t need a push notification to remind them of you.

Is there such thing as "The One"?

Over the last few weeks, I’ve found myself pondering the idea of “The One.” Does this person actually exist—or is it a concept planted in our minds by romantic comedies and Disney movies? Is it even plausible to believe that out of 3 to 5 billion people in the world, one person is perfectly made for you?

After asking around—friends, coworkers, even people in their early twenties—I’ve come to believe that maybe “The One” isn’t a predestined soulmate but someone who enters your life at the right time, in the right place, and fits who you are in that moment. I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason, and maybe love is no different.

Maybe this person isn’t perfect. But they’re perfect for you. At least for the version of you that exists when your paths cross.

And let’s be real—after the butterflies fade and reality sets in, that’s when the real relationship begins. Communication becomes the glue. I read recently that if you truly want to build a lasting relationship, you need to be able to talk about anything. I think this is where most relationships break down—people hold back. There’s a fear of exposing a darker part of ourselves or rocking the boat, but those hidden corners turn into walls.

I’ve made a real effort to be open about my feelings, even if it’s uncomfortable. Because let’s face it—your partner is not a mind reader. Especially if that partner is a man. (Ladies, I know it’s hard, but it’s true.) Men are generally straightforward: if they want something, they go for it. If they don’t, they won’t. There’s no secret code. We’re the ones reading between invisible lines.

Actions. Speak. Louder. Than. Words.

So, back to my original question—do I believe in “The One”?
Maybe not in the Hollywood sense. But I do believe in the right person at the right time. There are at least three people I’ve dated who, at different times in my life, I truly believed I could settle down with. But it just didn’t align.

I’m still a hopeless romantic, though. I believe that when the time is right, someone will walk into my life—and the chemistry, timing, and communication will all click into place.

The Millenia Man: Can He Handle a Woman Who Has It All?

Last night, a good friend of mine sent me an article from Cosmo titled “The Only Kind of Man Worth Marrying.” It dove into the idea of the “50/50” man—a guy who genuinely supports the corporate woman and sees her success as a win for the team, not a threat.

Growing up, I struggled with the idea of “having it all.” Could I really have a career and a family and my sanity? I mean, I was raised in a slightly old-school Puerto Rican household where women were expected to handle all things domestic. I still remember my grandmother telling me I’d never find a husband if I didn’t know how to iron. (Plot twist: I still don’t iron, and I’m doing just fine, thanks.)

But this article said something that hit me: “A woman can have it all if she doesn’t have to do it all.” Blasphemy? Maybe to abuela. But to me? Pure gold.

Apparently, the modern “Millenia Man” (let’s call him MM) is all about challenging outdated gender norms. He doesn’t mind scrubbing dishes, sharing kid duty, or supporting your dream to be VP of the company—or launch your own. He’s evolved past the "bring me a plate, woman" mentality, and honestly, it’s about time.

The shift comes from how Millennials were raised. Many of our parents struggled with blurred gender roles as women started working more and men didn’t quite know what to do with that shift. But today, more men are stepping up and saying, “Let’s do this together.”

And I’m here for it.

I’ve always said I want a partnership, not a dictatorship. A relationship should be 50/50—whether it’s splitting bills or folding laundry. Turns out, my expectations weren’t unrealistic. I was just waiting for society to catch up.

That said, beware of the fake woke man. He talks a big game about being progressive, but throws a tantrum if you say you’re working late or don’t feel like cooking dinner. Watch the reactions, not just the words.

Here’s my advice:
If the person you’re with makes you a better version of yourself, keep him.
If he drains you or makes you shrink, toss him like last season’s skinny jeans.

You’re strong. You’re beautiful. You deserve someone who claps when you win and grabs a mop when the kitchen’s messy.

What’s Your Last Name Again? Yeah... That Matters.

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You really don’t know a person until you know, ummm… their last name?

Recently, a good friend of mine decided to dive into the online dating world after a pretty traumatizing breakup. I gently warned her that she might not be ready for dating just yet, so I suggested she try a free dating site—just to get her feet wet. Little did I know, she was about to get a crash course in dating red flags.

One day, she showed me a picture of a guy she had just started talking to. According to her, he was the whole package—into sports, had a son, sexy voice, the works. I was skeptical from the beginning. Something about the whole thing felt... off. Especially when he asked her to meet him at his job—a busy restaurant in Winter Park.

That Saturday, I tagged along. I figured, if nothing else, I’d get to scope out this guy and maybe score a few freebies. We sat at the bar and she nervously texted him that she was there. It was honestly adorable—she looked like a giddy schoolgirl. And when he finally walked by, she lit up. “He looks so much better in person!” she whispered.

He passed by a few more times, and eventually invited us to join him at a bar later. A friend of mine joined too—because let’s be honest, I wasn’t trying to third wheel all night. We didn’t exactly get the VIP hookup at the restaurant, but hey, there was a discount. (Side note: If a guy invites you somewhere, he should at least offer to pay. Just sayin’.)

After that night, the two of them kept talking. They made plans for lunch the following week, then a Saturday night out. At some point, she casually asked him, “Hey, I don’t even know your last name.” He paused for a second, then replied, “Fernandez.”

Cool. All good, right?

Fast forward to Saturday night—we were downtown with some of my old college friends. She peeled off to meet up with her “Fernandez” for drinks. As they ordered, the bartender asked for a name to put the tab under. His response? “Lopez.”

LOPEZ???

Yeah. Huge red flag. Naturally, we did what any self-respecting woman in 2020-something would do—we Googled him. And girl, the mugshot came up like a horror story. Along with multiple domestic violence charges.

Once he realized she heard him drop the wrong last name, he conveniently disappeared. Poof. Gone.

All I can say is—some men in the dating world are just not datable. Check the receipts, ladies. That last name might tell you everything you need to know.

The Secret to Staying Positive (Even When Life Gets Messy)

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I recently watched The Secret, the movie based on the book of the same name. If you haven’t seen or read it, I highly recommend it. As someone who tries to live with a positive mindset (keyword tries), I found it really uplifting.

The main theme centers around the law of attraction—the idea that positive thoughts attract positive outcomes. I know to some it might sound like woo-woo, hippie BS, but honestly? I believe there’s something to it. And since watching it, some pretty unexpected things have happened. I won’t go into detail (trying to protect a few identities here 😅), but let’s just say—I was shocked, confused, and strangely… hopeful?

What I’ve taken away is this: all we have is the present, and what we do now shapes what’s to come. I’ve had my fair share of chaos and curveballs in life, but I don’t want to let those moments define me. I’d rather keep laughing—even when life doesn’t go the way I planned.

Truthfully, I never thought I’d be almost 30 with no ring on my finger or kids in tow, but maybe that’s just not what’s meant for me right now. And that’s okay.

So yeah, this post might be a little out of character from my usual rants and dating escapades, but sometimes inspiration hits. Positive vibes really do make a difference—not just in how you see the world, but in how the world sees you.

The Blogger Reply: Sit On Your Salute and Rotate

Recently, I ended a friendship with someone who I was dating on and off for a few years.  I guess he took it harder than I did because he wrote his own special salute to me you can find here.  I would like to say. He can sit on his salute and rotate. :-)  First and foremost,  how can a man be understood when their blogs contradict what they say in person?  You write how you want to settle down, but at the same time, you're not sure what you want.  I sincerely believe, if you're not happy with yourself, you can't be happy with anyone else. Second, I was not trying to get into your circle of friends. I was sincerely trying to be nice.  I'm sorry if I wanted to spend time with someone I liked.  If your friends are blind to my actual intentions, that is their fault.  I was merely trying to make a good impression because they are important people to you.  I don't want to offend your friends but if you're going to justify my actions by allowing them to make an impression on your decision to get rid of me finally, then so be it.

You are one of the most selfish and flaky people I have ever met.  The world does not revolve around you.  I'm well aware you fly at all times of the day but let me say something, if you want to be with someone, you will make time for them.  I had an ex in Afghanistan who bought a cell phone to call me.  I also have a good friend who is doing his MBA, working full time and is on the executive board of a local chapter of a national organization who just got engaged to an amazing person.  What does that tell you?  You weren't that into me in the first place.

Finally, yes, I deleted you from FB because only a week prior you were telling me how amazing I was and that you wanted to spend time with me.  I took you to work, and we made plans to hang out when you came back.  You didn't even take into consideration that my best friend asked to hang out with me, but because I made arrangements with you, I turned her down until I had to contact you that same day to see whether we still had plans.  I didn't hear from you until 10 PM that night.  Then two days later, you were "in a relationship" on FB.  WTH.  If it were any sane girl in the world, they would have done the same thing.

Bottom line, you have and always will be selfish and inconsiderate.  Until you figure out how to fix your faults, you will be alone or with someone willing to put up with your BS.

I really hope to bump into you so I can smile at you.  :-D  Nothing is better than killing someone with kindness. :-)