Young Minds & Real Talk: What Falling in Love Should Feel Like

I haven’t written in a while—and that’s because, believe it or not, I haven’t had any gripes about dating. In fact, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Yep, this formerly neurotic woman has found herself in a healthy, happy relationship. Wild, right?

What I’ve found fascinating in this new season of contentment is that I still have the urge to help others navigate the confusing, chaotic world of dating. Last weekend, I was riding in a car full of early-20-somethings—mostly guys and one girl—and something in me kicked into “big sister” mode. I wanted to protect them from the games, confusion, and heartbreak I know too well. One guy in particular started firing off questions like he was prepping for a pop quiz on love. His biggest concern? What to look for in the perfect woman.

Ah, young minds.

I told him something I wish I had fully grasped in my twenties: There’s no such thing as a perfect person—only the perfect person for you. He also asked if it mattered whether a girl had dated a lot in the past. I had to laugh on the inside (hello, dating blog history). The answer? No, it doesn’t matter. What matters is how you make each other feel and the kind of commitment you’re willing to give each other now.

We spend so much time worrying about how things are supposed to be, when sometimes love just is. No rules, no gimmicks—just connection. Just effort. Just showing up as yourself.

I might sound like a hopeless romantic or a free spirit floating on cloud nine, but a good friend once told me, “When it’s right, it feels easy.” And I believe that now more than ever. Falling for someone isn’t supposed to be a constant power struggle or a guessing game. It’s supposed to feel natural. Safe. Like home.

Don’t let your insecurities or your past convince you that history will always repeat itself. Because it won’t—especially when you finally get it right.