Why Does It Matter? A Reflection on Love, Ego, and Insecurity

Being in a relationship like the one I’m in now has opened my mind to things I would have never explored while single. It’s such a strange feeling. When I was single, if a guy dismissed me, my ego would kick in and I’d think, “He has no idea what he’s missing.” I knew what I brought to the table—smart, funny, independent, confident. Why wouldn’t someone want that?

But now that I’m in an amazing relationship, my insecurities have started to bubble up in ways they never did before. When you’re single, it’s easy to brush things off because there’s always another adventure, another guy, another distraction. But in a committed relationship—when everything is going great—that’s when the deeper questions creep in: Is it enough? Am I enough?

The truth is, of course it’s enough. He’s with you because you’re worthy. You always were.

I talk to friends all the time about their insecurities. When I’m on the outside looking in, I find myself asking, Why does it matter? So what if he hasn’t answered your text or liked your post within seconds? He might be busy. If at the end of the day he’s showing up, being present, and making you feel loved—that’s what matters. But I get it. In relationships, especially for fiercely independent women, vulnerability can feel foreign—even uncomfortable.

When you’ve been relying on yourself for everything—your time, your space, your energy—sharing your world with someone else can be hard. And letting go of control? Even harder.

Last week, I had a vulnerable moment that challenged me deeply. I’m a perfectionist, and when I feel like I’m not “perfect,” it bruises my ego. Looking at yourself honestly is tough. It’s easier to give advice to someone else than to deal with your own emotions and sit in the discomfort.

Luckily, my boyfriend and I made the decision early on to keep God at the center of our relationship. And not to preach, but that decision grounds me. When I remember that I am already perfect as God intended me to be, it becomes easier to embrace love, flaws and all. During that moment of doubt, I realized it was my ego getting in the way. A distraction. A tactic to distort what’s real. Love is meant to be joyful. Don’t let negativity, insecurity, or pride cloud your view.

I once heard a comedian joke, “If anyone ruins a relationship, it’s the woman.” I hate that stereotype—but I understand where it comes from. Sometimes, women overthink things because we crave connection and clarity, while men operate with simple intentions. If they want you, they’ll make it clear. They won’t play games.

So when you catch yourself spiraling—second-guessing, analyzing, overreacting—stop and ask: Why does it matter? If the love is real and you’re both showing up for each other, trust it. Trust Him. Trust you.

Serendipity: When God Sends You Exactly Where You Need to Be

Lately, life has been full of little moments that feel… divinely timed. Since starting my relationship with God, prayer has become a regular part of my life. And truthfully, I’m not the same woman I was six months ago. I feel content in a way that’s hard to explain.

It’s almost as if I’m being placed in certain situations on purpose. I believe that’s God at work—nudging me, guiding me, showing me where I need to be.

A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to a Women of ALPFA event—a professional organization for Hispanic leaders. I said yes, thinking it would be your standard networking mixer. (Which, don’t get me wrong, is great. I’m all for putting yourself out there and making new connections.) But I had no idea what I was walking into.

After dinner and a few opening remarks, the keynote speaker took the stage. Her name was Janet Perez Eckles, and she instantly captivated the room. Blind since age 31, she went on to become a professional interpreter, motivational speaker, and a best-selling author. Her energy was electric. Her story moved me deeply—and in that moment, I felt this undeniable clarity: writing is my calling.

I’ve heard that whisper in the back of my mind for years. But that night? It shouted. That night felt like divine confirmation.

And it didn’t stop there.

Not long after, I attended another professional event—this one hosted by NSHMBA, where I serve as the Director of Marketing. After a networking icebreaker, a man approached me. He had been in my boyfriend’s group and started the conversation by complimenting him (which, honestly, melted my heart because I know he’s a good man). We got to talking, and I found out he was newly divorced and dipping his toes back into the dating world.

He was hesitant about online dating. I couldn’t help but chuckle a little—because, well, I’ve been in that space for years. I told him the truth: dating online isn’t something to fear. We’re all so busy and guarded these days that stepping into a digital space just helps you connect with others who are also serious about finding love.

As long as you meet safely and stay honest, online dating is no more risky than meeting someone at a bar or through friends. I told him, dating is always a risk. You’re putting your heart out there in hopes that maybe this will lead to something real. And sometimes, all it takes is a small conversation to shift someone’s perspective.

He thanked me before we parted ways. And I couldn’t help but think—if I hadn’t been there, maybe he wouldn’t have taken that step toward love.

Is that serendipity? Is it divine alignment? I think it’s both. I truly believe that when you pray with intention, God listens. He may not answer in flashing lights or loud voices—but He sends people, moments, nudges, signs. You just have to slow down enough to see them.

Growth: Becoming Who I Was Meant to Be

I’ve been struggling with what to write about lately. My blog has always revolved around my wild (and often hilarious) dating adventures, but now that I’m in a relationship—a really fulfilling one—the dating content just doesn’t resonate the same. Still, my passion for writing hasn’t gone anywhere. So I’ve asked myself: what now?

In the past few months, I’ve been going through a transformation—one that feels so overdue and so powerful. I used to think I was happy, and maybe I was, but now... now I feel fulfilled. There’s a difference. It’s not that I had it all wrong before—I always believed in treating people with respect and trying to stay positive. But I didn’t realize how much I was still holding on to, how much clouded my vision.

The shift came from a combination of things: discovering a church that speaks to me, reading books like The Secret and The Power of Now, and being in a supportive, emotionally safe relationship. All of it has helped me see how powerful it is to live life without anger and resentment weighing you down.

Here’s what I’ve learned: you’re only responsible for you. You can’t control other people’s actions, only your reactions. When you stop trying to control the narrative and just focus on being the best version of yourself, everything starts to shift. That doesn’t mean life becomes perfect—but it becomes clearer. Simpler. More intentional.

People ask me why I’m so patient, and the truth is... it’s because I’ve learned that unnecessary conflict is just that—unnecessary. If something’s out of your control, you can either accept it or resolve it. That’s it.

I’ve been through a lot in my early 20s. There was a time when I could have gone down a dark, destructive path—become that walking cliché of a girl with “daddy issues.” But I made a decision. I decided that my pain wouldn’t define me.

Forgiveness—something I wrote about recently—has been the hardest but most freeing part of that journey. How do you forgive someone who deeply hurt you? Because you must. Because their actions don’t define you. Your response does.

You’re not responsible for their choices. You don’t have to agree with what they did. But you do have to choose whether or not you’ll carry that pain forever. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what they did was okay. It just means you’re no longer letting it control you.

I believe every person I met while searching for love peeled back a layer of me. They showed me glimpses of the woman I could become—but I always knew deep down I was destined for more. And now, I’m finally stepping into that.

So yes, I’ll still be writing. Maybe not about dating disasters. But about growth. About healing. About what happens when you decide to love yourself more than your past.

Let’s see where this takes me...

The Power of Forgiveness: Releasing the Past to Embrace Peace

Over the last few months, I’ve been on a journey to rediscover who I am—and to finally let go of everything that’s held me back. I know I’ve touched on this before, but recently, it feels like I’ve come face-to-face with a wall I didn’t know I’d built. A wall made of unspoken pain, shame, and the lingering shadows of my past.

In my effort to become the best version of myself—not just for me, but also for my new relationship—I’ve been pushed to confront parts of myself I thought were long buried. For the longest time, I kept one specific year of my life very private. I didn’t want it to define me. I didn’t want to seem like a burden.

But I’ve come to realize this: the people who truly care about you don’t see you as broken or damaged. They see you as you. Strong. Whole. Beautiful. And worthy of love.

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to dig deep into my hidden pain. It wasn’t easy. But something extraordinary happened—I felt a shift. A spiritual release. I’m not one to preach, but I need to say this: there is power in what Jesus did for us. By taking on our pain, He gave us a path to freedom from shame. We don’t have to carry the sins of others or the lies they told us about ourselves.

Forgiveness—real, raw forgiveness—is powerful. For a long time, I thought I was strong because I had buried the pain and numbed myself to it. But I now understand: true strength is in facing the pain, feeling it, and letting it go. It’s saying, “I see what happened. I acknowledge it. And I forgive you—not for you, but for me.”

That kind of strength can’t be faked. And though I still have some forgiving to do, I feel lighter. More whole. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m really starting to live.

All at Once: When Old Lovers Come Crawling Back Around Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, and I’ve noticed something strange—when you’re finally happy, people from your past seem to come crawling out of the woodwork. I don’t know if it’s because they sense I’m in a relationship or if something about this time of year makes them nostalgic. Maybe they got hit with a Cupid arrow of regret. Who knows?

Let me be clear: I have zero intention of straying. I am utterly and completely in love. But over the last two days, I’ve received messages from the most random people—ghosts of relationships past, if you will.

Apparently, this is a thing. Like the universe decides to test you when you're finally in a good place. It's almost laughable. Am I supposed to fumble the bag for someone who once ghosted me? I’d need a bigger temptation—say, I don’t know… Vin Diesel?

Here’s the truth: I know these people from the past have nothing to offer me but confusion, frustration, and maybe a regret spiral or two. There’s a reason things didn’t work out. I’ve done the trial and error, lived through the drama, and journaled the heartbreak. I know better now.

So here’s a gentle reminder (to myself and maybe to you, too): Stick with what brings you peace. Old habits—and old flames—die hard. But they don’t deserve to burn down the good thing you’ve got going.

Positive thinking, intention, and a clear mind have brought me to this better version of myself. I’m not about to let someone else's indecision or nostalgia pull me back into a storm I’ve already survived.

Young Minds & Real Talk: What Falling in Love Should Feel Like

I haven’t written in a while—and that’s because, believe it or not, I haven’t had any gripes about dating. In fact, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Yep, this formerly neurotic woman has found herself in a healthy, happy relationship. Wild, right?

What I’ve found fascinating in this new season of contentment is that I still have the urge to help others navigate the confusing, chaotic world of dating. Last weekend, I was riding in a car full of early-20-somethings—mostly guys and one girl—and something in me kicked into “big sister” mode. I wanted to protect them from the games, confusion, and heartbreak I know too well. One guy in particular started firing off questions like he was prepping for a pop quiz on love. His biggest concern? What to look for in the perfect woman.

Ah, young minds.

I told him something I wish I had fully grasped in my twenties: There’s no such thing as a perfect person—only the perfect person for you. He also asked if it mattered whether a girl had dated a lot in the past. I had to laugh on the inside (hello, dating blog history). The answer? No, it doesn’t matter. What matters is how you make each other feel and the kind of commitment you’re willing to give each other now.

We spend so much time worrying about how things are supposed to be, when sometimes love just is. No rules, no gimmicks—just connection. Just effort. Just showing up as yourself.

I might sound like a hopeless romantic or a free spirit floating on cloud nine, but a good friend once told me, “When it’s right, it feels easy.” And I believe that now more than ever. Falling for someone isn’t supposed to be a constant power struggle or a guessing game. It’s supposed to feel natural. Safe. Like home.

Don’t let your insecurities or your past convince you that history will always repeat itself. Because it won’t—especially when you finally get it right.

What You Think About Is What You Bring About

Over the past few months, I’ve been fully embracing the power of positive thinking and the Law of Attraction, especially as described in The Secret. I’ve also been diving into other books with similar themes, and let me just say—it’s been a journey. A few months ago, I went through a rough patch emotionally, and I never want to feel that way again.

Since then, I’ve been practicing letting go of negative thoughts and becoming more intentional with my energy. I never realized how much negativity ran through my mind on autopilot—until I started correcting myself. Now, even when I’m texting someone, I catch myself mid-sentence and rewrite it to avoid putting out negative energy. It’s amazing how much more aware I’ve become.

I’m far from perfect, but I truly believe that positivity attracts positive outcomes. I’m working toward becoming the version of myself that I know I’m meant to be. Deep down, I’ve always felt like I’m destined for more than where I am right now—and I think that inner pull is what keeps me reaching, evolving, and writing. Writing has always been my way of releasing those swirling thoughts and making space for clarity.

Lately, I’ve also been reflecting on how much of what’s around me now—the friends I love, the opportunities I’ve created, the social circle I value—are things I once hoped for. And somehow, here they are. That’s not luck. That’s intention. That’s alignment.

I recently told someone, “Everything in front of me is a reflection of the thoughts I’ve nurtured.” And I believe that wholeheartedly. I wanted connection. I wanted growth. I wanted purpose. And even though I’m still a work in progress, I can already see the fruits of those intentions beginning to bloom.

So yes, it’s true: what you think about is what you bring about. Choose those thoughts wisely. They’re the seeds of your future.

The A.D.D. of Dating in the Age of Technology

Image

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how technology has completely changed the dating game. I mean, only ten years ago, we were counting how many text messages we sent and waiting until after 9 PM to make free phone calls. Facebook wasn’t a thing yet, and most of us were still talking on cordless phones. I had one with the longest extension cord known to man, just so I could stay up talking into the late hours without waking anyone up. That feels like a lifetime ago.

Now? Everything is instant. Texting is unlimited. Everyone has a phone on them 24/7—and no one even talks on it. We text. We DM. We snap. Communication is literally at our fingertips. So how does this shift change how we date?

Back then, the thrill was in the waiting. A girl would run home hoping the guy she liked had left her a message. Now, we carry that anticipation in our pocket... and it’s exhausting. The accessibility has created a new kind of pressure. If we don’t get a reply in 30 minutes, we start to spiral. “Did I say something wrong?” “Is he ghosting me?” “Should I text again?” And with all that noise, the magic of mystery is lost.

We’ve become so addicted to instant gratification—if we don’t know something, we Google it. If we want to connect, we text. If we want to share, we post. But here’s the problem: dating now moves at the speed of a data plan. That once-simmering anticipation? It’s gone. Relationships often burn fast and fizzle just as quickly.

I’ve noticed this pattern in my own dating life. That early stage where you’re getting to know someone? It’s now filled with daily, almost non-stop texting. And let’s be real—sometimes, it’s just too much too fast. There’s no build-up. No time to wonder. Just constant interaction that can blur real feelings with digital noise.

Ladies (and yes, I’m talking to myself here too): if you get annoyed when a guy keeps asking, “Are you okay? Why haven’t you responded?”—flip the mirror. We can be just as guilty. Smothering someone with attention doesn’t make them fall faster. It usually has the opposite effect.

The truth? Less is more. Let someone miss you. Let them think. Let them feel. Don’t confuse texting chemistry with actual connection. Real emotion takes time, space, and silence to grow. I once read that “your emotions are your true thoughts—don’t let your head get in the way.”

So give it a beat. Let it breathe. If it’s meant to be, it won’t need a push notification to remind them of you.

The Secret to Staying Positive (Even When Life Gets Messy)

Image

I recently watched The Secret, the movie based on the book of the same name. If you haven’t seen or read it, I highly recommend it. As someone who tries to live with a positive mindset (keyword tries), I found it really uplifting.

The main theme centers around the law of attraction—the idea that positive thoughts attract positive outcomes. I know to some it might sound like woo-woo, hippie BS, but honestly? I believe there’s something to it. And since watching it, some pretty unexpected things have happened. I won’t go into detail (trying to protect a few identities here 😅), but let’s just say—I was shocked, confused, and strangely… hopeful?

What I’ve taken away is this: all we have is the present, and what we do now shapes what’s to come. I’ve had my fair share of chaos and curveballs in life, but I don’t want to let those moments define me. I’d rather keep laughing—even when life doesn’t go the way I planned.

Truthfully, I never thought I’d be almost 30 with no ring on my finger or kids in tow, but maybe that’s just not what’s meant for me right now. And that’s okay.

So yeah, this post might be a little out of character from my usual rants and dating escapades, but sometimes inspiration hits. Positive vibes really do make a difference—not just in how you see the world, but in how the world sees you.

Ryan Reynolds (But Not Really)

Last night, I went on a date with someone I met on Match.com. Honestly, I didn’t have high expectations. He didn’t really seem like my type physically from his photos, and on the phone, it was hard to get a full story out of him. Still, I was trying not to get my hopes up—call it a defense mechanism. He did, however, manage to convince me to cancel a date with an older guy I was second-guessing. So I gave it a shot.

We met at a pool hall and as I approached the door, I stopped in my tracks. This man looked like Ryan Reynolds. No exaggeration—he did not look like his profile pics… but in the best way possible.

Once we sat at the bar, he noticed I was acting a little shy. When he asked why, I admitted that I was honestly kind of thrown off by how attractive he was in person. He asked what I thought of his profile, and because I’m me, I told him the truth. I gave him my honest feedback, just like I had shared my dating experiences and thoughts on what women are really looking for.

The rest of the date felt… awkward. We were locked in this back-and-forth sarcasm battle, almost like we were competing instead of connecting. There was tension, but not in a sexy way—more like two people trying to one-up each other.

I told him during the date not to change his profile unless things didn’t go well. And because I’m nosy (let’s be real), I checked it the next day. He changed it.

Here’s the kicker—I didn’t realize I had moonlighted as an online dating profile consultant. At one point, he even asked if I’d ever been on a blind date before, and I couldn’t help but laugh. If only he knew about Bad Date 4 – The Really Blind Date. 😬

I guess the lesson here is: maybe don’t give dating advice to someone while you’re dating them. Or maybe... do. Just don’t be surprised when they take it and run—with their profile.