“Life is like a...

“Life is like a rainbow. You need both the sun and the rain to make its colors appear.”

Cranky Mornings

This morning, I woke up in a super cranky mood.  I never understood how some days I'm a ball of positivity and others I just want to claw someone's eyes out.  It's like every email or request makes me wish I was still at home cuddled in bed watching useless tv.  I ask myself, why does this happen?  I wonder if being a woman in a hormonal state causes some sort of unwanted emotion?  Does this happen to men?  Is there really a division in the sexes?  I never liked to think so but the older I get and the more aware of my emotions I become, the more I think there is. Normally, in these situations, I pop some "happy pills".  A term coined by my coworkers after taking some St. John's Wort (a natural supplement).  We're not sure if it has a placebo affect, but it does work.  So, in essence, it doesn't matter if its a placebo or not.  :-)

After feeling the way I felt this morning, I turned on Joel Osteen's podcast from yesterday and that didn't work.  I'll keep looking for something a little positive to put some pep in my step.

Who do I want to be?

A couple of nights ago, I was having a conversation with the Comedian about my last post. We talked about the human condition and our parents. I have always compared my parents to my friend's parents and wished I was in a different situation. I spent the majority of my teens and early twenties trying to figure out how to live life. My dad had left and my mom was never very emotionally available. During that time, I didn't have much guidance, all I knew is that I wanted to leave go away to college and that's what I did. I lived the cliche life of a lost college girl figuring it all out or letting my friends figure it out for me. My point after all of this is that I really didn't have much guidance during that time of my life. Finding my identity was not an easy feat but I don't believe it's an easy feat for anyone, I guess I personally found it difficult because I didn't have anyone to look up to.At the end of the day, everyone has a story. Someone's parents used to abuse them or their father was an alcoholic. I believe those traits might either give us character or we fall into the same pattern. (On a side note, I find this topic even more interesting because I started it a few days ago and on my way back from Miami this past weekend, the Comedian and I were listening to Joel Osteen who gave a sermon on a very similar topic... ahh serendipity). You, as a person, chooses whether you want to inherit your parent's habits. Some of make excuses for every day life, it's because its the way my mom did it or its because my dad had a temper. Life is really about choices. We choose our clothes each day, what time we wake up, whether we wear our hair up or down. It's maybe hard to comprehend but you do have a choice to be angry or upset. I believe I read this quote once:

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours." ~Wayne Dyer

In Joel Osteen's message, he said you are the one who can break the personality trait and you choose whether you pass it down to your children. My point out of all of this is whether you have guidance or not, at the end of the day, you have the final choice on how you want to be as a person. It might be hard to believe, but once you consistently think positively and pay close attention to your actions, things will start to look different. People will start treating you differently. It's absolutely amazing.

You don't have to be your mother's habits or have your father's temper. You can be whomever you want to be. It's the beauty of the mind. It's yours.

Marilyn

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

Last night, in between watching the NBA Finals, I watched this documentary about Marilyn Monroe. Call me a history geek but I love to watch stories of famous figures and where they came from. Something about their road to fame has always intrigued me. I didn't know much about Marilyn Monroe minus the fact that she committed suicide, sang to the president and the numerous quotes I see on Facebook and Instagram.

I found that she was an extremely insecure person who hid her reality behind this persona she created. I mean, it seemed it was genius that she was this sexual temptress and knew exactly what she was was doing. But at the end of the day, it was all a rouse. Just something that she was expected to be and she put herself there. I watched her struggle through her life fighting the stigma she was thought to be from the beginning of her career. I mean she consistently read books to fight the fact that she didn't finish high school.

After watching the documentary, I came to think to myself how much I related to her at one point in my life. It was so easy to push people out instead of letting them see the demons I hid in my closet. Granted, I wasn't an orphan and went from foster home to foster home, but I was very alone for a long time. Alone in the sense that I felt like no one really knew who I was and I chose not to share my deepest thoughts. It was easier to put a wall up and not deal with being vulnerable.

What I realized over time is that I would drive myself crazy by being that alone. I can understand that Marilyn probably didn't want to be in her head. Women, in general, do have their thoughts go a mile a minute. I remember there were times where I would get so frustrated with myself that I would just want to scream. It's crazy what a little self reflection would do to you.

I do want to reiterate that knowing who you truly are inside and out is so important to your own sanity as well as those around you. Over time, I have been able to hone in on my idiosyncrasies. I am no where near perfect but I do recognize my faults and work on them. Also, I have realized that I've never truly been alone. I've always had God right beside me through my journey of life. It's crazy to think that was the one thing I couldn't grasp for the longest time and now that I do, I am so much happier. I do wonder, what could had been done to save Marilyn.

Office Environments

Some of you know, earlier this year, I started working for a different company but rejoined my old company after a few months.  I was sincerely very excited for the new opportunity.  I was drained and had come to my wits end with the owner of the screen printing company.  The owner for the jewelry company had read the same books I had like The Power of Now and The Secret, so I really felt that we would be on the same page as far as thinking was concerned. Boy, was I wrong.  I understand, working from the bottom and proving yourself when you start a new place of employment is important but I wasn't ready for the ride I was supposed to take.  Granted, it was a small company and I understand the dynamics would be a little different.  By the end of month two, I was ready to head out of that situation as well.  The owner did read these books but I don't think he really applied the concepts especially after I read a Facebook post basically him exclaiming that the "haters can keep hating".  Not to mention, the person in accounting was very critical and negative of everyone accept her and her daughter, who also worked there.

After finishing my 90 days, I came back to the screen printing company to run some reports as a favor.  Later on that day, the VP offered me a position in a different department in the company.  I was kind of torn on making a decision but the pay was better and I had sincerely missed the office environment.  I accepted the offer and I have been so happy ever since.  This environment suits me so much better as there is genuine goodness and laughter with those around me.

I know that sometimes we have to take opportunities given to us to grow but when those don't work out, I know deep down in my heart that another door will be opening near by where you least expect it.

Death to my 20s

It happened... my 30th birthday. My coworkers have a tradition that on someone's birthday, their desk should be trashed. For mine, they created a funeral for my 20s. My VP was laughing so hard, she was crying. Some people look at is as a milestone in their lives where they go through all of the dreams they had throughout their 20s and wonder why they hadn't gotten there yet. I, on the other hand, did not feel any different. I did reminisce a little bit about where I thought I would had been. I did think in my early 20s that I would be married by now and have some sort of career that I love. Neither has happened, needless to say. Then I started to think, I am truly happy so why does what hasn't happened matter?

It doesn't matter. Living your life to the fullest with whatever comes to you is the best way to live. You can't control everything but you can control your thoughts and surroundings. I had a conversation a few months ago with a friend's brother. He looked at me and said, "You created your life, didn't you?" I had never really thought about it before but I did create everything around me. It's all about the decisions you make and the person you decide to be. There was a moment in my early 20s where I was at the bottom and I told myself, I will not be this repressed person. I will be the best version of me that I can be. It's been a great road.

I know great things are coming in my 30s. I look forward to every minute of it.

White Jeans

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Call me nostalgic but I put on a pair of white jeans today and I couldn't help but think back to when I was about 11 years old in middle school just trying to fit in. I remember wanting a pair of white jeans because that's what all of the cool kids were wearing. I am not going to lie, I didn't come from a lavish lifestyle. My mom was well .... frugal. It was always a discussion to even get something name brand, if that ever happened. I did end up getting white jeans one day though. My first day of wearing my new prized possession, I remember sitting in the lunch room just chatting away and my lack of coordination got the best of me and I dropped chocolate milk all over my new white jeans. Needless to say, I never wore those jeans again.

I am still very accident prone. I can't tell you how many times I've fallen on my face or dropped coffee on my shirt but I will tell you one thing, I always carry a Tide stick. The light of all of this is that now I know to be better prepared for what could possibly happen. I can't but think of the old phrase, only if I knew then what I know now. However, if I didn't go through spilling chocolate milk or even the heartaches I've been through, I would never be the same person I am today. (And yes, I realize in the photo I might have a slight obsession with shoes as well).

I embrace my scars because they make me more sensitive to the world around me and that's what I love about myself.

It's that time... again

As a woman, I struggle with my changing ummm hormones. It seems that when it's "that time of the month" my emotions go a little haywire. I like to pride myself in being cool and calm so when I started to realize a trend in my heightened sensitivity, I started to pay attention. It's interesting because this is not a new phenomenon. In the book, "The Power of Now", Ekhart Tolle talks about staying in the "now" when it is this time specifically for women. I found it interesting that it was addressed. The whole idea of being in the "now" is to focus on your state of being, but when my emotions are toying with me, my mind goes a mile a minute. I think I first realized I was going a little crazy a few months ago when I started an argument with a friend. I asked myself, why did I get so upset? Then the next month, the same topic came up and I got upset, yet again around the same time. Whoa... I figured it out.

I didn't want to think that a woman's physiology would create an issue but I had to finally admit to myself that it does. Even today, I was having a conversation with my boyfriend, we'll call him The Comedian, and for whatever reason I felt like something was wrong. That he was upset with me. It didn't hit me until after the conversation how crazy I was and then I realized what was just around the corner.

Sometimes we slip and don't realize that we don't have all of the control in our own emotions. Possibly some women are worse than others however, this is something that happens once a month for many. Yes, I do get cranky, especially if I'm rubbed the wrong way in the morning. It throws my day off. It's interesting because I just recently rewatched "The Secret" and they did bring up the fact that even if your day starts off on the wrong foot, we have the control to change how we feel by just adjusting our emotions just a little bit.

Who said being a woman was easy??

Making Half the Attempt isn't Enough

Yesterday, I went to Sunday service as part of our weekly ritual and the sermon that day really touched on a lot of things that I have been striving to do for myself. It had to do with "teaching an old dog new tricks". We get caught up on our lives and routine and don't think about what can we do to better ourselves because we are complacent. Being a good Christian is all about following God's word to the best of our abilities. We are all not perfect, however, we can strive to be the best possible version of ourselves. There is one thing that has always stuck with me when I was doing my "internship" with the record label in my early 20s. Mind you, this was a very difficult point in my life full of deceit and pressure to do things I wasn't meant to do. But the man who put me through all that continuously said one thing to me. He said, "Don't do things half ass". It has really been a mantra for whatever reason. Deep down in your heart, you know when you are not making the best effort and you are just trying to fly through a task. When you're just doing what you are told to do at work, you're doing it with half the effort. When you're telling someone half the story, you might be leaving important parts out. It's all about efficiency.

I was also at an event where there was a panel of men who have reached the pinnacle of their career such as the Brand Manager of Red Lobster and Room Operations at Walt Disney World. The Brand Manager said the way to get to where you want in your career is to do something outside of your job description. It's just a guideline but not what would differentiate you from the rest of the candidates for a higher position.

Basically, its like what the pastor said when describing his dog. He knew when his dog did something wrong because it would display guilt and shame. When you know you didn't really do what you needed to do and just skimmed the top, deep down inside, you know it was a half ass effort. Being a better version of yourself has to do with going above and beyond your job description. Not just doing enough to get by.

Bruised Egos

It's amazing how one blog can inspire so many conversations. In the last week, I have come across a new realization that one's own ego is the basis of all of our craziness. Have you ever thought as to why something or someone has affected you so much, its because they hurt your ego. It's true that women dress for other women because we are the most critical and we want to boost our ego. The reason why really insecure people might go out of their way to get upset over something minute is because they do want their ego to get bruised. We people please because it makes us feel better about ourselves. What if you decided one day that your ego didn't matter? Only you and you alone are responsible for your own happiness. If you don't realize that, then you will consistently search for happiness in life through others and continually be disappointed. Humans are selfish creatures. We don't intend to be sometimes but at the end of the day, most will make the decision that will make them happy. A guy might not call you because they are tired of your incessant nagging with will cause a lull in their day. Or maybe you won't hang out with a girl friend because you know she'll talk about her break up, again. It's not that some of us are better than others, its just that our ego is a very delicate thing.

After reading some books and following some innovative thinkers like Kyle Cease, a comedian who strives to live in the moment, I have come to understand that emotional decisions are made because I am trying to boost or protect my ego. I have lived a long life of people pleasing. But I have realized over the years, yes, I can be there for my friends and family but not to depend on them to make myself feel better. Not only that, but I had depended on my friends to not feel sorry for me because I've always wanted to be resembled as a strong person even if I had a little bit of a rough past. Hence, boosting my ego by making me feel like I was this invincible human that could take on anything.

I have also realized this ideology is not easy to understand. To live in the moment and not to allow your ego to control your thought process. Just think about it next time your ego is hurt, why does it hurt and make a decision that doesn't involve boosting your ego. Emotional decisions really get us in trouble.

Remember When...

Don't you remember when bills did not have to paid and you could run in the backyard without a care in the world. When your friends weren't going through divorces or horrible losses. When no one has ever harmed you and the butterfly which landed on your shoulder was left with a place to rest. Remember when you were awoken and carried in your father's arms because you fell asleep on the couch watching "My Little Pony" or when your dad gave you a high five after hitting the ball off of the tee? Those were the times when there was no reality just play time. Your Barbie and Ken were off getting married or in their Corvette riding off into your living room. When you told your sister it was your turn on the Nintendo.

Grown up reality is so dark. It can leave you in a depression because you know this is it. This is what truly life. It is full of heartbreaks, lost ones, bills to pay, negative words, bad people. Why can't we be who we were when we remembered when.

The truth is, you can be. Life does come with struggles, like a scabbed knee or broken bone. We have the strength to make it all better. Keep on praying, keep on moving forward and live your life so you don't have to remember when because "when" is right now.

Why does it matter?

Being in a relationship like the one I'm in has opened my mind up to all kinds of things I would not have embarked on while being single. It's really the strangest feeling. When I was single, if I was dismissed by someone, my ego would take over and I would say to myself, this guy doesn't know what he's missing out on. I knew I had a lot to offer as a woman. Smart, funny, independent, confident, why wouldn't someone want that? Now, I'm in this amazing relationship and my insecurities are starting to surface more prevalently than before. I think its easy to dismiss when you're single because there's always another adventure, another guy, another friend but here you are in a committed relationship and everything is amazing, now I start to think, is it enough? Of course it is, this person isn't with you because you aren't worthy. You are so worthy.

It's crazy because I do have conversations with friends about their insecurities. Here I am on the outside looking and saying to myself, why does it matter? It shouldn't matter that he hasn't answered your text or liked your post on facebook within seconds of you texting or posting. He might be busy. If at the end of the day, he shows you how much he's into you then it doesn't matter. I think what women fail to realize that committed relationships is a change in lifestyle. I can vouch for someone that has always been independent in her life. I've taken care of myself to this point and its hard to let and accept that now you have to share your time, your resources with someone else. When you do have only yourself to depend on, vulnerability might be something difficult to handle.

I had a recent episode in the last week where my vulnerability was tested. I'll admit, I think that I am a perfectionist and when I realize that maybe I'm not so perfect, it beats on my ego a bit. Looking at yourself is so much more difficult than being on the outside because they are your emotions and your feelings, not someone else's you can give advice to and not have to deal with the consequences.

Luckily for myself, my boyfriend and I had decided to have God at the center of the relationship. Not that I want to preach to anyone but when you realize that you are truly perfect as God intended you to be, it is so much easier to enjoy your love. When I had my episode I realized, it was the devil trying to dilute our relationship with my ego. Such a revelation, so simple. Love is meant to be joyful. Don't let negativity, insecurity and ego cloud your vision.

It's interesting because I've heard a comedian once say "If anyone ruins the relationship its the woman". I hate to be an advocate for that thought but I can see where there comes from. Women get so insecure with a man's simplicity it makes us see things that don't exist. I've said this in a previous blog, real men are simple. If they want something, they get it. If they want you, they will tell you. When we do all this second guessing, it makes women go crazy. Trust his judgement, be on his side. When you start becoming and instigator, watch yourself and what your actions. Stop and think, "why does it matter?"

Serendipity

Recently, life has been very interesting to me specifically in some coincidental occurrences. As you all might know, I have recently started a relationship with God. With that, a lot of prayer has come into my life. It's strange because I can honestly say, I'm not the same person I was 6 months ago. I'm completely content. There have been a series of events that I have come in contact with that have made me realize that there's a reason we might be put in places for a reason. I believe it to be God's work, I'm being told something. A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to a Women's of ALPFA event which is a National Professional organization geared towards Hispanics. I gladly accepted the invitation but I had no idea what I was in for. I was thinking it was another networking event, not that those kinds of events are bad. I believe putting yourself out in the public is a great way to make contacts. You never know when you can make a connection that might be beneficial to you or someone you know.

Anyhow, after the dinner and some preliminary speeches, the keynote speaker was helped up the stage. Her name is Janet Perez Eckles. She is a inspirational woman who lost her sight at the age of 31. Even when all odds were against her, she still succeeded in becoming an interpreter and a New York Times best selling author. Her energy was just simply amazing. There was a reason I was asked to be at that place at that time. I'm more than sure several people were touched in that room but hearing her speech made me realize that writing was truly my calling. I knew the idea has been ringing in my ears for several years but this was a push to go after something I love.

I realize sometimes it might seem uncanny that we're at a certain place at a time but I believe that there's a reason for everything. I was at another event for another professional organization called NSHMBA which is geared towards promoting those in the community to get their MBA and I am on the executive board as the Director of Marketing. Anyhow, after we had our networking icebreaker, I was stopped by a gentleman who was in my boyfriend's icebreaker's group. He went on to compliment my boyfriend as being the good man that I know he is but I digress. We continued talking. I discovered that he was recently divorced and ready to get back into the dating game. He had started to question whether online dating was worth it. I kind of laughed to myself as I had dated online for quite a few years. I went on to tell him that there was nothing to fear when using a different medium to meet people. This city has become so involved with their own personal matters, its hard to come out of one's shell to make the first move. Being online just makes it easier to meet people who are serious about finding a relationship and being able to weed out those you might be interested in.

I have found that as long as you meet people in a safe environment, there is nothing to fear except they might not be who you expected. But those kinds of occurrences can happen anywhere. If you meet someone at a club, they might not have the personality you can really connect to or if you met them through a friend, they might take to you to Chik Fil A on the first date. When you date, you're taking a chance in hopes that maybe this opportunity might lead to a relationship. After speaking to him, he thanked me. It was odd. If we had never met, he would probably never have the confidence in dating online.

I'm not sure if being in the right place at the right time is really what this is all about. I think it's about the fact that you do seriously pray for guidance, God will direct you in the path you are destined to go but you have to slow down and listen.

Growth

I've been struggling with the topic of discussions in my blog. Yes, I have encountered many dating adventures, however, now that I'm not single, I have been searching for what to blog about since my true passion is writing. In the past few months, I have been undergoing this crazy transformation. I thought I was happy before but now I'm just fulfilled. I have been going about this journey of life all wrong. I did have the right idea though. If you treat people with respect and you are positive, good things will happen to you. It has been a culmination of finding church and reading books like "The Secret" and "The Power of Now" among other things such as my super supportive boyfriend.

Now, I have a better feel for what life holds in front of us when we have an unclouded vision of anger and hate. You are responsible for you and only you. You cannot control other people's actions. When you realize that, you will understand that when you are a better version of yourself, then all things will start to fall into place. Unnecessary conflict doesn't result to anything but that, conflict. Sometimes I look at people around me and I think to myself as to why they did what they did or say what they said. Every action has a reaction. Some people in my life have approached me in asking, "Why are you so patient?" It's because some situations are out of our control. Either you accept it for what it is and/or find a solution to resolve it.

I have been through so much in my early 20's. I made a decision that I was not going to allow those events to weaken me. I could had gone a completely other way, psychologically speaking. Let's just say, if I continued on that path, I would have been the cliche of a girl with Daddy issues.

In my previous blog, I wrote about forgiveness. That has been the hardest concept for me to grasp. How do you forgive someone that hurt you? Because you are not responsible for their actions, only yours. That's why. You as a person has no right to judge anyone. You might not agree with their actions, however, at the end of the day, you are not them. You are you. This idea has been the core of my growth. I forgave all of those who have hurt me. After all of this time, that is what hindered me from taking my wall down and really being truly happy.

I believe with all of those people I've had met in the pursuit of finding a relationship had only peeled back a few layers of what I could potentially become but I knew deep down inside, I would be something great. And I will continue to write about my growth. Let's see how this goes...

Forgiveness

Over the last few months, I've been on this journey to really discover myself as a person and finally let go of all that has held me back from my past. I believe I've said this in a blog before but it seems that there has been this apparent wall that has been holding me back from really letting it all go. In my efforts to be the best version I can be for myself and my new relationship, I think I've been pushed to really let get to the nitty gritty of my past and finally face it. Overall, I am very private about what had occurred that one year in my life to those that I meet. I don't want it to define me as a person. I never wanted to be a burden for whatever reason. But I have come to learn that those who truly care about you want you don't ever see you as some pity party. They see you as you truly are.

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to really delve deep into my hidden pain and face it. I'm not one to preach to anyone, however, there is a lot of power in what Jesus has done for us. Giving himself up so we don't have to endure the pain of sin. We don't have to live in shame for what other people have done for us. We don't have to bear the burden of someone else's thoughts of who they think we are. I have found that forgiveness itself is very powerful.

Something had resided in me for so long and I thought that my strength would be best used if I repressed the pain. Making it seem that no emotion would go towards those thoughts of insecurity and shame. I would consider myself just numb to what had happened. I used my strength for all of the wrong reasons. I didn't know it at the time because I felt I was protecting myself but really, I was just repressing emotions that needed to be set free. After all of this, I realized, true strength comes to those who can forgive their attackers. Someone who can face their fear and say, "It's okay. I forgive you."

It seems so simple, however, when you confront dark pain, it takes a lot out of you. I still have some forgiving to do, but I know I'm headed in the right direction because I feel at peace and a huge weight is lift off my shoulders. Now, I am on to really living.

All at once

Valentine's Day is quickly approaching and I find that when you're happy, the strangest people come out of the wood works. I'm not sure if it's they can sense that I'm in a relationship or for whatever reason, that day, they decided to think about me. Don't get me wrong, I have no intention, whatsoever, to divert from what I have going on right now. I am utterly and happily in love. However, in the last two days, it just seems that I have been contacted by the most random people.I've been told this is a trend. It's like a test from the beyond, seeing whether I'm weak enough to falter. However, the universe would have to give me something harder to steer away from, like ummmm Vin Diesel. lol. What is most interesting about all of this is that it is something that happens to almost everyone. How is that? The piece of advice I've been given is to stick with what you know is right. I know right now these other people have nothing to offer me but anguish and irritation. There was a reason it never worked out in the first place. With all of this trial and error I've been through, I should know better than to go in a whirlwind of problems. I don't mean to preach but just moving in the direction where you know what's right and you're at peace is the way to go. Positive thinking has lead me to be a better person with a greater outlook on life. Old habits die hard, don't let your old habits (or lovers for that matter) ruin the greatness in front of you.

Young Minds

I haven't written in a while because I haven't had any gripes in the dating world. In all honesty, I'm the happiest I've ever been. Yes, this neurotic woman has found herself in a very happy relationship.What I find interesting in this state of happiness is I still seek to help others with my dating tips. Last weekend, I was in a car full of guys and one girl, most of the guys were in their early 20s. I had the urge to protect them from the women of the world who might take advantage of their young naive minds. One in particular had the urge to ask 20 question one what to look for in the perfect woman. I am an avid believer in not finding the perfect person but finding the perfect person for you. He asked me whether it mattered if the girl dated a lot in the past if that made a difference. I kind of laughed on the inside due to my apparent dating history. No it does not matter. What matters is how you make each other feel and the commitment both of you are willing to make. I think we all put too much emphasis on the way things are supposed to be. Sometimes it just is. Put the games aside and just be you and let yourself go. I may sound like a free spirit or on cloud 9 but a good friend told me when it feels easy and natural, that's the way falling for someone is supposed to be. No gimmicks, no games just you and that other person. Don't let your insecurities and your past blind you into thinking history will repeat itself because it may just not happen.

The A.D.D. of Dating with Technology

Recently, I've been intrigued with the technology and dating.  Only 10 years ago, we had to watch how many text messages were sent and whether we could make a phone call after 9 PM.  Now everything seems to be unlimited.  I think over 10 years ago, Facebook didn't exist.  It's just crazy to think of how we dated even back then.  At that time, I was in college (Go Gators!!)  I remember being in high school and talking on the phone all hours of the night on the cordless phone and when the phone died, I had a super long extension cord for the other phone in the living room.  All of that doesn't exist anymore.  Everyone has a cell phone.  Shoot, no one even talks on the phone anymore, they text. My point is that now that communication is literally at our fingertips, how does that change the dynamic of dating?  Before, a girl would run home in hopes that the guy she liked called her.  Now, our phone is on us 24/7.  Imagine the added anxiety to either side of the spectrum.  We can now share pictures within a second.  I really do agree with the idea that because we instantly have information, it causes us to be impatient.  If we don't know an answer, we Google it.  If we want to talk to someone, we call their cell.  If we want to show a photo or share and idea, we post it somewhere.

Its insane to think how different things were only 10 years ago, and they will only progress.  People will become less patient when it comes to wanting information.  It has become common that 2 people who meet each other would text consistently through the day, everyday during the first couple of weeks of dating.  But where is the suspense, the hoping, the wondering that we used to anticipate?  The excitement dwindles off much sooner than it might have 10 years ago.  I can only speak from a woman's perspective when it comes to all of this.  I wonder to myself, is there a balance?  Texting, facebooking, social networking can be the demise of the beginning of a relationship.  It becomes way too much too fast.  Don't get me wrong, I believe you know when you have something good, you really know it but I think less is more in this case.  I have been in situations where I gave someone my number and regretted it.  Some insecure guy who spoke nonsense and asked me if I was okay and why I wasn't responding.  Annoying!  I have a secret for you ladies.  If you think a guy is annoying when he does that, so are you.  :-)

Give the other person the opportunity to miss you, to think about you, to really process what is in their head.  That's when its worth it.  Because then you know for sure its not just smothering information, its real feelings.  I read recently in a book, your emotions are your true thoughts, don't let your head get in the way.

New Name

I changed the name to my blog from Love in Fairytale land to Val's Love Bytes.  I will also be updating the site to make it super appealing. I hope you enjoy!

The Secret

I recently watched the movie "The Secret" which is based on the book with the same name.  If you've never seen or heard about it, I would totally recommend that you do.  I like to say I'm an advocate for positive thinking but sometimes life does get the best of me, I mean I'm a woman for goodness sakes.  I have emotions.  Anyhow, this movie talks about the law of attraction in the sense that if you are positive and have positive thoughts positive things will happen.  I know it might sound like a bunch of hippie BS to some people but I think it's really true.

Interestingly enough, since I saw the film, some crazy stuff has happened which I don't want to delve into because I don't want to out any of the parties involved.  The event did shock and confuse me for many reasons but I came out of the situation looking towards the positive.  All we have is the present and what we do in the present will dictate what we do in the future.  I know that I have been through some crazy things in my past but I don't let that bring me down.  I would rather go on through life laughing even if the things I want don't fall into place the way I had envisioned.  I mean I would have never thought that I would be almost 30 years old and not married or have kids yet but maybe that's not what was meant for me in the cards.

I really just want to share that positive vibes do keep you a happier and healthier person.  I know this is not my normal type of posting but I was inspired :-)