I'm Rubber, You're Glue

It's late tonight and I am just in a moment of randomness. I really should be reading an article for class. Yes, I'm back in school pursuing my MBA. I don't know where it will lead me but the future looks promising. Anyhow, I realize I am more and more a student of human behavior as time goes and the more I learn. I find it interesting how egos can get scarred by someone else so easily. I am a victim of the same. I think it can more damaging when it someone you hold in high regard as the one doing the slashing of the soul. The problem is remembering that "I'm rubber, you're glue". Kids got it down pat with that rhyme. What changed? I think puberty made us emotional fools. We should remember the present is the most important time of your life. Not the past or the future but the now. Every moment now is the best moment.

I have been an advocate for living life happily. Granted, bad things will happen but those things are meant to learn from. I love my friends and family. And I know they love me for my love for life, laughter, corny jokes, and random facts I feel for whatever reason everyone should know. But that's me. I have learned that the less you care about what people think about you, the more you can be yourself, and people will love you for just that. You being you.

Our Ego makes us Judge

"Judge not, that ye be not judged.  For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." - Matthew 7:1-2 (KJV)

Society and the bible teaches us two different things.  All over social media someone is judging what someone is wearing, what they are doing, how they are doing, what their children look like, how many posts they put up a day and so on.  Reality TV has made a killing because viewers love a drama.  They want to live vicariously through people in situations they probably could not dream of being a part of whether it would be a love story or two girls having it out because their weave was pulled.  I mean there's a show on judging what someone was wearing on the red carpet.

I think sometimes we're so accustomed to judging and talking about other people that we lose sight of how we should really treat others.  I tell myself not to scrutinize someone because it is not right but there might be a little voice in my head that is saying otherwise.  God says not to judge because he created us in his image.  He will make the final decision on judgement day.  Whether you are Christian or not, the same holds true through most religions.  To be an honest person who embraces themselves and loves others.    I am told that I am to love everyone even if I don't agree with their decisions.

I guess this comes as difficult for me because all I've ever wanted to do is help people but in the long run I ended up just trying to make them more like myself.  My happiness is my own.  I have the yearn to teach other people but it has taken me a long time to recognize to give help when someone seeks it.  Someone once asked me,

"Why do you feel the need to teach them how to be grammatically more correct?  Is it for them or is it for you?"

I think in the end we're boosting our ego.  It's never for them.  It's to make us feel like we've done something to help even though they didn't ask for it.  I have sincerely been struggling with not trying to control others in what they do.  All control does is boost the ego.  I know I've spoken about ego in previous posts, its a false sense of making us feel better about ourselves.  Living on my own for such a long time, I realize that I might have become set in my ways and I have to search to find a way to stop the control.  Let life happen.

It's interesting because I've spoken to some of my guy friends who are planning weddings and they feel frazzled.  I think wedding planning has to be one of the most hectic things one might do because you want to control the outcome.  In reality, you can't.  You can do the best you can and know the day will be amazing regardless of the bumps in the road.  Once you let go, I know you will feel peace.  Work hard at it and things will find a way of working out the way God intended.

Positivity is your Destiny

This morning provided a new sense of motivation for myself. During my vacation from work, I decided to take the opportunity to really work on writing but where would this motivation come from? The Comedian sent me a text to listen to yesterday's message from Joel Osteen and everything was ignited. He touched on something I brought up yesterday. You are in charge of your destiny. If you decide to be negative, then negativity will follow you. If you decide to be positive then great things will happen. While watching a video the Comedian sent me, I saw this quote,

"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it" - Thomas Jefferson

I've heard several stories through the years which drive me to work towards more dreams more diligently. For example, the author of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Jack Canfield, was searching for an idea that would take him out of his financial slum. He wrote himself a check for $100,000 and envisioned actually receiving the check. One day, he came up with the idea to sell articles for $1.00 each. Next thing you know, he sold 100,000 and made his goal. Jim Carrey wrote himself a check for $10 million when he was just starting his career in LA. Only a little time later, we was signed on to do Dumb and Dumber which paid him exactly that.

You're probably sitting there saying, that won't happen to me. What makes me so special. That's exactly it. You are bringing yourself down with your own self doubt. When you envision actually having the things you want, they will start to happen. God works in mysterious ways. When you take the time to listen to the positivity around you and stop clouding yourself with doubt, you will find that things will start happening in your favor.

All of my life people told me there was something special about me. I have yet to really discover what that is but I will not lose hope. I know that I am meant for something amazing. You know what, so are you! There is a quote I came up about a year or two ago,

"I refuse to believe misery is my destiny"

Don't let misery control you. You are the only one in charge of your destiny.

The Fall Air

Something about fall always brings back all kinds of memories. The smell of the air changes, even in Florida. There is something reminiscent of the holidays. I can't necessarily put my finger on it but normally I change, my emotions change. When I went away for college, I struggled with being separated from all that I knew. I put up a big wall saying that I could handle it because I'm a military brat, however, I really didn't understand that I needed the norm of my family life to bring me back to the ground. There were a lot of changes going on during that time of my life. My mom remarried, my sister moved away with her boyfriend at the time, and I didn't have the relationship I wanted with my father. I was struggling to find myself in a new world. For whatever reason I fell into a depression. After becoming suicidal, I went to counseling. He then diagnosed me with seasonal depression meaning that only during a certain time of the year, I became depressed. This was only the first occurrence.

Year after year, I would suffer a darkness during the fall. I wanted to be part of a family, I wanted a sense of normalcy, in my eyes. I tell you, there is nothing like wishing you had somewhere to celebrate where you felt accepted. I just wanted to celebrate Christmas with my family. I was so lost and incomplete. Instead of smelling the fall air, I would want to sleep until 1 or 2 in the afternoon. It was safer in my dark room.

Through the years, I became better at dealing with this darkness during the fall. It even skipped a few years until last year. It came back. The feeling of being alone. I couldn't look at anyone without breaking down and wanting to cry. There was no one there to save me until I saw The Secret. There was so much hope in that message. Hope that I didn't need a family to make me happy, I was already part of one. I was alienating myself because it was all about me. I finally opened my eyes and saw that what you bring to yourself is what you have. I am wealthy through my friends and family. Also, I learned you are NEVER alone. God has always and will always be there. He will be your family, your friend and most of you, your father.

There is no point in living in this world in a negative light. Everyone has their own personal drama to deal with. Everyone has a story. As I always say, what makes you who you are is not what you've been through but how you deal with it.

The Urge to Write

It's been a couple of weeks since I last wrote in my infamous blog.  I've had a bit of writer's block, as they say.  Since moving in with the Comedian, I've been coincidentally crazy at work, then I go home and it seems there is something to do or someone to see.  I tell you, it's been non stop.  I yearn for the days when I turn to the Comedian, he looks at me and asks, "So what do you want to do today?"  Lately, it's been, "Babe, what do we have scheduled for the weekend?" I have calmed down immensely from my crazy college days.  I think it was a progression.  When I found my group of friends from Orlando, they were just as crazy as I was.  It was a match made in party heaven, however, they are settling down a little bit as well.  There are babies and pregnancies popping up all over the place.  My co workers consistently tell me, I'm next.  I look at them and say, "Not yet, I haven't been drinking the water."

Lately, I've immersed myself in listening to podcasts like crazy.  Honestly, the Comedian got me into them.  It started off listening to his favorite comedian, Bill Burr, and it grew to bloggers like Pat Flynn and my new favorite, Entrepreneurs on Fire.  It has my mind going a mile a minute on what plans I might for my future.  Don't get me wrong, I love to write, I just want that to be what propels me to what I am destined to do.

I know deep down inside, this is only the beginning.  I know in a few years, this blog will have a new meaning and great following.

Thank you all for reading!

Yes, Some Girls Love Football

I laughed to myself as I read this meme. I find it comical that for the longest time, I continually dated guys who didn't watch sports.  It was a bit of a conundrum to me.  The biggest complaint I've heard or read from other article was that men would watch sports and ignore their significant other.  But yet, I wasn't dating those guys.  I actually find it attractive that I can bond with a guy through sports.  What if the girl you were with were cheering along with you?  That was me.

As a matter of fact, the group of girls I hang with now all watch football.  When I first started dating the Comedian, several years ago, he looked at me and said, "You're amazing."  I smiled and asked, "Why?"He looked at me and replied, "Because you watch football and drink beer and eat wings."  I snickered, "Most of my girlfriends do."

I guess its a rare breed.  As a matter of fact, I am a Florida Gator and  New York Giants fan.  Even though either team is not performing at their absolute best this season, I still will watch with passion, as well as entertain any arguments about their performance.   I do get upset when they lose and hear all of the people who root for opposing teams jam up my news feed with teasing remarks.  But its all part of the game.  Once, the Comedian's father asked me why I love it and I replied that it was because of the camaraderie, the passion for the sport, and the challenge of the game.  He agreed.

At the end of the day, I am looking forward to the next game.  When it's Spring, I miss football season and I am excited for the next tailgating event.  It doesn't matter what you're passionate about but don't change yourself to fit your guy's needs.  He will love you regardless :-)

I leave with you with a photo of all of us on the way to a NY Giants game in Atlanta.

To Be Puerto Rican...

Growing up, I struggled with self image.  I was born to a father in the military who was stationed in Germany and both of my parents were Puerto Rican.  On the military bases, there was a community of Puerto Ricans who got together to do parrandas, a caroling tradition in Puerto Rico, during Christmas time and spoke Spanish.  My dad sang and played guitar while others played the güiro and slapped the tambour.  That's what I knew in my younger years.  I mean, there were other cultures in the community but I didn't feel any prejudice.  There were Asians, Blacks, Whites and Hispanics all throughout the community and I didn't recall being told I was different because of the color of my skin.  I guess that's what it is to be a military brat.  Just knowing there is going to be all kinds of culture around you. When I moved to Florida,  things were very different.  Orlando is permeated with Puerto Ricans either the island of Puerto Rico, Chicago, or New York.  I was not from any of those places.  It was strange because I was either not Puerto Rican enough or I didn't come from New York so I didn't fit in.  Throughout middle and high school, I struggled with who I really was.  I spoke English really well so to the Puerto Ricans I was too "White" and to the everyone else I was too brown.  None of it made any sense.

Finally, when I got to college.  I threw aside what I was defined to be during my high school years.  I decided to be myself and learn what I could about my culture.  I did enjoy reggaeton but I wanted to know the history of Puerto Rico.  I wanted to speak better Spanish to understand my relatives.  I wanted to learn how to dance salsa, merengue, and cha cha.  And that's what I did.

I became President of the Puerto Rican organization on campus and through planning events, I learned about things I didn't even know.  I learned about bomba and plena, African dances from Puerto Rico's history.  I understood the battle for independence from the Grito de Lares and how Lares has amazing flavors in ice cream like corn and rice and beans...ha!  I also decided to make a conscious effort to visit my family in Puerto Rico at least every two years.

The most important lesson out of all of this is that no one can define who you are.  I embrace my culture through it's history, the beautiful land and beaches, and through my family.  I believe all cultures have their beauty.  However, I am Puerto Rican and no one can take that away from me.

Knowing Me First

"To love others you must first love yourself" - Leo Buscaglia

Since the chain of events that changed my life in my early twenties, I found it a mission to really mold myself into the person that I wanted to become.  In order to that, you have to be conscious of your own nuances.  Why do I get angry when this happens?  Why do I cry when that happens?  These questions consistently rattled my mind of years.  Maybe enlightenment was the path I was supposed to take, who knows?  All I know was is that I wanted to understand me.

My biggest struggle was handling emotions.  I absolutely despise confrontation.  I've always been a better communicator through writing.  I don't know if I was conditioned by AOL chat rooms but that's what happened.  In relationships, I found myself going to a third person to vent my frustrations instead of talking to my boyfriend at the time.  All that ended up doing was creating a pathway for my roommate to get close to my boyfriend then start seeing him after we broke up :-/  Then I realized, when you start making excuses for the other person, that is when you should start questioning the happiness in your relationship.  You should never want to change the person you're with but you should be with someone that does make you a better version of yourself, not bring you down.

When I get upset, I tend to start shaking, then I have this uncontrollable urge to cry.  Ha!  I must sound like a mess...lol.  I had to learn to hone in my emotions so that I would understand how to react whenever I do get angry.  I promise, I am much better than I used to be.  It does take a lot to get me to the point where I am angry or upset.  The idea is to handle it when I get there, not bottle it up and put it to the side.

I can't stress enough that I'm not perfect, no one is.  But I do work on myself every single day.  Some days are good, some days are great and others are just plain awful.  We are in charge of everything we put in front of us.  Think about what got you here because if you want to get out, you're the only one who can save YOU.

My Own Happiness

"The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am a quote lover.  It is not uncommon that in conversation I might refer to a quote or two to prove my point when it comes to finding inner peace and happiness. The one I just mentioned by Ralph Waldo Emerson resonates with me because years ago I decided who I wanted to be.  Recently, at a book club meeting, we got into a heated conversation about finding happiness mostly due to our book selection "The Happiness Project" by Gretchin Rubin.  We were talking about how people fall into ruts when they go through traumatic situations.  I've always said,

"It's not what you've been through that makes you who you are it's how you handle it".

I am a firm believer that only you can change yourself.  For things to be different around you, the mindset you think with has to change as well.  I think that's the genius of positive thinking.  Your brain is such a powerful thing.  It change your mood within a second.  As humans, we want to blame other things for our well-being.  At the end of the day, it always comes down to us.  Entrepreneurs are successful because they already believe they are where they want to be.  People who are blessed surround themselves with those who love them which create a positive environment.  They are grateful for what they have, thus making them happier.

It might be strange to think that it is all true but I encourage you to try it.  If a negative thought comes into your head, brush it away and replace it with something positive.  Just try it for a day.  I would love to know how it turns out.

Kill 'em with Kindness

What an interesting morning!  On my way to work, I was about to take a right turn on a major street.  While looking left, I guess I let my foot off the brake a little bit and rolled right into the car in front of me.  Insta-accident!  It actually wasn't that bad.  She had a couple of scuffs on her bumper but I got out the car and asked her to pull into the business next to us so we were out of traffic. I think initially she was very upset.  She told me she was going to report the accident so that she doesn't have to pay for the damage.  I did the wrong thing and thought to myself , what a B***CH.  What I didn't realize, the actions I was about to take would change the scenario immensely.

The accident was completely my fault.  I wasn't paying attention.  I offered to give her a copy of my insurance since I can just print out another copy and the information is on my insurance app (yes, there is an app for that).  She explained herself and said, "I'm so sorry, I don't want to be a pain but my car is leased and I just don't want to pay for it in the long run.  If your insurance covers it, that's all I want to be done."  I realized, this lady is just struggling like the rest of us and I had no right to judge the content of her character.

So, I called my insurance company and filed a claim.  After all was said and done, she asked me to talk to her insurance company not realizing that I've already spoken to mine.  I was more than happy to help.  She explained that there was no reason to get the police involved if everything was taken care of without them.  What a relief!  Then she thanked me for being so nice and helpful.

Just to think, being super kind and understanding can help diffuse a situation.  Accident's happen.  Finding the solution to the problem is really what needs to be done.  I believe some dwell on what happened, get angry about it and leave the resolution until the end.  You can't help the past, only the present.

Daddy's Little Girl, I think...

One of the biggest thing I've struggled with through my 20's were abandonment issues.  I was talking to a friend of mine about my relationship with my father and what had transpired in the last 3 years.  My father and I never really had a close relationship growing up.  As previously discussed in other posts, he was in the Army pretty much all of my life.  From what I remember, he was normally working and traveling.  When I was about 11 years old, he traveled to Panama on business and really never moved back home.  My parents ended up divorcing right before I turned 14.  After that, he came around every so often to check in or send me money for school. At that time, I really became lost.  Even though he wasn't around, I felt the need to impress him.  I did really good in school to get his approval and when he left, it became pointless.  I did well in High School but as soon as I got to college, things just didn't work out the way I was accustomed to.  It might have been other factors, however, not having my Daddy around didn't help either.

When you might think of a girl having daddy issues, one of two things might come to mind.  She might be overly promiscuous and afraid of commitment or she might find relationship after relationship to fill that void of not having a father around.  I won't say where I stand but I can say I was afraid of commitment for a very long time.  It seemed as if I had sabotaged myself on several occasions where I might had been with a really good guy but I was just afraid he was going to leave me like my father did.  There was a point in my late 20's where I felt that I was never going to get married.  It became just a norm for me.  I was by myself, no one was close enough to hurt and leave me and I was content.

I did meet someone in my life who found it a hobby to figure me out.  In the long run, I think she really helped me learn to get close to someone.  I did have great friends in college who helped me through tough times but I think at this point I could really recognize my thoughts and why I felt the way I felt.  She would point out little nuances in things I would say and it kind of made me realize how close of a friend she really became.

About 3 years ago, for whatever reason, my father did come back into the picture full time.  I mean, an email almost every day and a phone call practically once a week.  After all of this time, I had to make some adjustments.  It was crazy because my abandonment issues started to become less and less apparent.  However, there would be moments after that which would make me relapse but the point is my father coming back into the picture did alleviate some of that pressure I was putting on myself.

It wasn't until February of this year, I really started to overcome those issues because I started going to church.  I felt the conviction of God weighing heavy on my heart and I had to forgive him for not being there all that time.  Trust me, I am so grateful he is back in my life.  I never realized until we've gotten close that I get a lot of my personality traits from him like sarcasm and the want to be a social butterfly.  He tells me stories about how I was his little baby and touches my heart.  To know he has always loved me the whole time.  These memories can never be taken away.

At the end of the day, that's all that matters.  Not the past, not the future but what is going on now.  Right now, my Daddy has become a great part of my life.  Forgiving him and all of the others that might have hurt me was the best thing I could have ever done.  For things to change, all you have to do is pray.  God has a plan and I know it's a great one. 

Don't Take Anyt...

Don't Take Anything Personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.- Miguel Ruiz

Coinciding with yesterday's blog Is this Your reality?, I felt this quote was fitting.  

Is this your Reality?

Yet another conversation with the Comedian has inspired me today.  You know its a beautiful thing in a relationship when conversations spark a stream of creativity.  We have discussed in the past, other people's realities.  It's not easy to explain but when you become conscious by living in the present, the remedial things like gossip and drama that other people might emphasize don't matter to you.  In all honesty, I had some situations where I became bothered by someone else's reality.  You really just want to enjoy each moment as beautiful as it is.  When poison starts interrupting those moments, you become distracted and the goal is to get back to where you were.

I remembered, in watching The Secret, they mentioned that sometimes when you wake on the wrong side of the bed in the morning, it might create a whole day of negative energy but in reality as soon as you feel like you're going in that direction, you have every right to change your mood around.  Only you are in charge of your emotions and your surroundings.  That includes those who surround yourself with.  Another interesting book I've been reading, The 4-Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss, touches on the idea that the 5 closest people closest to you are a reflection of who you are.  It's been a long road, but I can honestly say that true with those very close to me.

I am reminded that everyone has their own reality and we are not one to change those realities.  We are to just accept them and only control our own destiny.  This past Sunday's sermon, Joel Osteen said, "Nothing you have done has canceled your destiny." God still has a plan for you.  It is your choice to listen.  If we want to live in a reality that fogs our vision to who we really want to become then we might not get there.  The way my life has changed in the last 9 months, I want to continue to choose a path of positive enlightenment.  What about you?

"I am what I choose to become!"

"I am what I choose to become!".

The Evolution of Val

The other day, I was perusing through my laptop and I came across some really old blogs from my college years.  I started read and reminisce over the drama, boy crazy, party girl phase of my life.  It's crazy to think that I've been writing blogs since 2004, almost 10 years ago.  It was on MySpace but at the time I felt like the next Puerto Rican Carrie Bradshaw. I have written down the way I felt since I was in middle school (I've read through those too).  Once, my sister took my diary in high school to the neighbor's house and read it out loud.  At the time, I was going through puberty and "discovering myself".  I thought the diary was private enough to write about...err... my experiences... but not then...lol.

Anyhow, I am in awe regarding the way I've progressed as a person.  Many of the same themes that have come through my head similar to the way I think now.  I believe a lot of this progression has to do with that one moment in life where you feel you hit rock bottom and commit to yourself that you don't want to be that person.  One of those moments happened to me when I was only 21.  I don't want to get into all of the gory details, that would be another blog.  You have to make a conscious decision that you want to be a certain person and stick with it, stick with it I did.  :-)

Life is a constant evolution.  I am a firm believer you should always be learning and bettering yourself.  The last time I felt like I was falling towards the bottom, I found positive thinking and God.  I doubt with those lessons by my side, I won't be at that place again.

I did go through my 20s dating all kinds of boys, learning new things about living as an adult and so much more.  I think my 30s are going to be fabulous.  Maybe in 10 years, I can reminisce again about the evolution of me.

Ignorance is Bliss

I'm normally fairly positive however there is one thing that bothers me, maybe because I've been a victim of it in my younger years, discrimination.  In light of recent events, Marc Anthony was ridiculed via Twitter for singing "America" because it was thought to be un-American.  I am floored by these kinds of comments only because 1.  He was born in New York.  2.  He is Puerto Rican.  (Puerto Rico is a common wealth of the U.S. and those who live there are American citizens).  3.  Spanish is the 2nd most widely spoken language in the world.  4.  The U.S. is a melting pot.  Yes, he's a Grammy winning artist, but that shouldn't matter at all, right?.  :-/  Not even a months ago, members of the University of Southern Mississippi chanted to a Puerto Rican basketball player, "Where's your Green card?"  Ignorance.

I think its sad that most Americans don't know their own history.  Every single one of us are descendants of immigrants in one form or fashion.  It is even said to believe that Native American came over from Eurasia over the Bering Strait.  Anyone with European ancestors had to get here somehow.  Because Hispanics speak a different language, it doesn't mean we're any less American than anyone else.  I don't speak Mexican or Puerto Rican.  I speak Spanish, English, and a little Italian. :-)

My father served in the U.S. Army for over 30 years and retired as a Lt. Colonel.  I still cry when I hear the National Anthem and I have several cousins who serve in the military.  I'm proud to be in this country.  But as soon as I go to a community that is not used to the way I look, I get criticized.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what they think.  I still love my curly hair and brown skin.  I love the fact I speak more than one language and I'm proud of my culture.  I love the fact that I get excited to know there's a whole pig being cooked in the backyard.  The list goes on and on.  All of our differences, cultures, beliefs and so on is what makes this country beautiful.  It's the ignorance that makes us ugly.

Contrasting Mistakes

This past Sunday, the Comedian and I attended our church's service as we try to do as often as possible. Our normal pastor was on vacation so another filled in for him. This particular pastor I've grown a liking to because he makes his sermons relatable. He started talking about TVs with the dials, if you don't remember, you had to stand up to change the channel or in my case, my parents made me do it.

He started talking about the dials on the bottom of the TV and one happened to be contrast. How would we be different than everyone else? How would we be a better Christian? As the sermon went on, I listened intently as I was looking for what this message could bring to me that day. Finally, he brought up moral responsibility. As I had discussed in Is Divorce an Option? that society accepts failure like everything is okay. It is okay to make a mistake, we're just human. We have all decided that we can get away with whatever we want. People cheat all the time, so its accepted. Some of us steal but its okay, we make mistakes. It is so interesting when I find someone who speaks on a topic which made my wheels turn as well.

I personally believe that we do make mistakes but what separates us from being a better person is owning up to those mistakes. I have so much respect for those who don't hide behind excuses and say, yes, I messed up and I'm sorry. Integrity is such an honorable trait, in my person opinion. Over the years, I decided to be transparent. Trying to lie to get out of something never panned out well in the end, so why even try it? The pastor went on to say that those who are "pure" are looked as fake. It's interesting that we all strive to be better people and when we find someone who really sticks by their values, they are scrutinized. What a twisted world we live in.

To be better people, we really do have to look deep down inside and decide. Do you want to be transparent and pure? Or do you want to keep hiding behind your mistakes?

The Best Advice...

Ironically enough, the best advice I ever received was not about relationships or my career or even my choice in school but it happened to be about my finances. Unfortunately, I didn't receive much guidance from my parents when it came to money. I was suckered into credit card when I was in college and I lived the cliche poor student lifestyle. I don't feen for ramen, actually I was never very fond of it, but I do have memories of my best friend and I gathering up all the money we had to hit up the dollar menu.After college, I struggled. I worked for a publishing company where I was sexually harassed by the owner then when I told a coworker that I was going to file a complaint, I was coincidentally fired. After that, I worked for a company owned by Lou Pearlman. If anyone knows, he went bankrupt and I was caught up within that time, hence, another job lost. Finally, I made it to my current company, a breath of fresh air. During the midst of all of this, a good friend of mine told me,

My father was a wise man, he said to never depend on money you don't have.

A light bulb turned on for me. This one conversation set in motion a whole new way at looking at my finances. I started paying my bills first and eventually saving for a rainy day. I know it sounds so simple, however, I was a young girl in my early 20s at the time. I truly dedicate my independence to this advice. I've learned much more since then but freeing myself from a burden of wondering how the next bill would be paid. I'm also not where I want to be. In writing this blog, a year from now, I will be in a better place financially. (Positive thinking, positive results :-)) On a side note, I would love to thank The WordPress Chick for influencing this blog. You're awesome!

3 Reasons Why You Should Embrace Mistakes!

Repost from one of my favorite bloggers.

3 Reasons Why You Should Embrace Mistakes!.

Happy Birthday America!

During occasions which involves the military, I get pretty emotional.  I'm the type of person who cries during the national anthem.  My dad retired as a Lt. Colonel in the army not too long ago and continues to work for the military as a civilian.  I have three cousins in the military.  Two in the navy and one in the army.  I was also engaged to someone in the army who served in Afghanistan. So as you can see, I have a lot of ties and respect for what men and women in the military do for us to keep our country safe. 

I get especially emotional when I see a soldier speak to his/her family while deployed or when they come home.  I tend to be a very strong person when it comes to crying, however, that always touches a part of my heart.  At the moment, I'm extremely torn because my cousin, who is like a brother to me, is going back to Afghanistan this month.  I can't imagine what goes on over there but by what I've been told, its not exactly a pleasant nor safe situation.  I know you risk your life by simply getting into a car but something is to be said about being in a very hostile area where your life is in danger by walking in the wrong area.  

Growing up, I told myself that I never wanted to date someone in the military.  Not that I don't have respect for what they do but I knew that, deep down inside, I couldn't handle the lifestyle.  I knew that I wanted someone to be there with me to raise the family, to be there with me through thick and thin.  My love language is Quality Time (I totally recommend that you read the 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman), which means, in order for me to feel loved or have my love tank full, I need to spend time with that person and have good quality time with them.  I give major props to military wives and girlfriends who hold down the fort while their men are overseas.  I know its not easy.  It was very hard for me while my ex fiance was overseas.  I remember, I cried literally every day for the first month he was away on his deployment.  I just don't like the idea of losing someone you care about, I mean, who does?  

This blog goes out to all of those who have served for our country, those families who have lost loved ones and those who are overseas right now.  I am immensely grateful for all that you've done.  I also want to pray that my cousins all come home safely as one is about to leave and the other two are away from home already.  I love you all.