2016 - Year in Review: Creating the Life I Envisioned

I'd like to think this “Year in Review” idea becomes an annual tradition. I love reflecting on the past 12 months—the triumphs, the trials, and the unexpected turns that helped shape who I am today.

This year began in a good place. I was in full-blown wedding planning mode, excited to marry The Comedian. There were so many hopes and dreams swirling around: building a life together, staying creative, and reigniting my passion for writing.

At the beginning of the year, I was working a job I liked—mainly because of the people. But as the months dragged on, the grind wore me down. Working 8 AM to 6 or 7 PM, often outdoors in a construction-heavy environment, took a toll on my energy and spirit. I started losing myself. My blog, which once gave me so much life, sat dormant. Even trying to lose weight for the big day became emotionally taxing.

I remember lying in bed with The Comedian after one of our long, honest conversations about chasing our dreams. He gently called out that I was losing my spark. And he was right—I was in a rut. That night, I made a promise: by the end of the year, I would quit my job and pursue freelance writing full-time.

And I did.

Thanks to a few Craigslist posts (yes, really), I connected with some amazing clients who gave me the opportunity—and the confidence—to step away from my 9-to-5. I haven’t looked back. I’ve spent the holiday season in meetings, brainstorming, and planning for more clients. And Val’s Bytes? She’s back, baby. Look out for a fresh podcast format in 2017.

This year included two weddings—one of them being my own—and no baby showers (thank God). But the biggest blessing of all was marrying someone who believes in me, even when I doubt myself.

Of course, not everything was sunshine. My hometown of Orlando experienced unspeakable heartbreak with the Pulse Nightclub shooting. We lost icons like Prince. And I faced the emotional exhaustion of a job that no longer fit the person I was becoming.

But through all of that, I’m grateful. Because those shifts—both internal and external—led me closer to the life I’ve always envisioned. As we head into a new year, I want to leave you with this:

✨ Create your own destiny.

As a challenge, I want you to make a vision board (I'll share mine below). Visualize what you want. Pray for it. Meditate on it. Keep your thoughts positive and focused. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle says:

“See if you can catch yourself complaining… To complain is always nonacceptance of what is… When you speak out, you are in your power.”

A goal without a plan is just a dream. So let’s stop just dreaming. Let’s do something about it. Reflect, plan, believe, and act.

Happy New Year. May it bring everything you're brave enough to imagine.

Year in Review, vision board

Knowing Me First

“To love others, you must first love yourself.”
— Leo Buscaglia

I love myself

Since the chain of events that shifted my life in my early twenties, I’ve made it my mission to mold myself into the woman I want to be. And to do that, I had to get real about my emotional patterns.
Why do I get angry when this happens?
Why do I cry when that happens?
These questions would circle through my mind for years. Maybe personal growth was the path I was meant to walk. All I knew was—I wanted to understand me.

My biggest struggle? Handling emotions. I absolutely despise confrontation. I’ve always communicated better through writing (thank you, AOL chat rooms). But in romantic relationships, that became a problem. I’d vent to a third person instead of confronting my boyfriend directly—and one time, it backfired big time. My roommate ended up dating him after we broke up. Awkward. Painful. Lesson learned.

Eventually, I realized: when you start making excuses for someone, it’s time to check in with your own happiness. You shouldn’t want to change your partner. You should be with someone who naturally brings out the best version of you—not someone who drags you down.

When I’m upset, I still shake. Sometimes I cry. (Yes, I know... I sound like a mess—lol.) But over the years, I’ve learned how to recognize those reactions instead of letting them rule me. I don’t bottle things up anymore. I’m learning to handle things when they come up, not when it’s too late.

I’m not perfect. No one is. But I work on myself every single day.
Some days are good.
Some are great.
And others? Just plain awful.
But that’s life.

We are in charge of what we accept, what we allow, and what we choose to move through. So if you’re feeling stuck—ask yourself: What got me here? And more importantly: What am I going to do next?

Because at the end of the day, you’re the only one who can save you.

Anxiously Waiting

This past weekend, I was presented with a new thought.

Growing up, I was taught to be on time. Actually—worse—I was taught to be five minutes early, because being “on time” was considered late. You can thank my military upbringing for that one. I’ve always made it a point to let people know when I’m on my way, if I’m running late, or if I can’t make it at all. Something in my conscience said it was the right thing to do.

But after a recent conversation, I started to dig a little deeper. Why did I feel the need to over-communicate every detail of my ETA? Why did I feel anxious if someone else didn’t do the same? I always thought it was simple courtesy, but maybe it was more than that.

Reading The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman gave me some insight. We often express love—or courtesy—the way we want to receive it. So for me, punctuality and communication were ways I showed respect and care, and I expected that same energy in return.

Over time, I’ve learned you can’t expect people to be just like you. Trust me, this lesson didn’t come easy. (I’m a recovering grammar stickler who used to love correcting people.) But I’ve come to realize that unsolicited help isn’t always welcome. People appreciate your support when they ask for it—not when it's pushed on them. And that applies to punctuality, too.

Recently, I found myself feeling tense when someone wasn’t on time. I got that familiar nervous flutter. But why? After sitting with the feeling, an old friend reappeared: abandonment. Yep. That deep-rooted fear of being left alone showed up again, just wearing a different outfit.

I've come a long way in healing from those issues, but every now and then, a trigger sneaks in—reminding me that healing isn’t always linear.

This reflection reminded me of something important: I am not my past. I am not my fear. I am here, in this moment. The present is what matters most. So I’ll keep learning, keep growing, and keep catching myself when the old demons try to whisper something untrue.

Because I am not who I was. I am who I choose to be—right now.