The Dating Vocabulary Guide: Terms You Should Know Before Swiping Right
/I was scrolling through Snapchat the other day and stumbled on an article about dating vocabulary—and my mind was blown. Apparently, being out of the dating game for a few years left me seriously out of the loop. No amount of late-night chats with my girlfriends prepared me for the new language of love.
If I didn’t know these terms, chances are you don’t either. So here’s a handy cheat sheet to help you navigate the dating world like a seasoned pro (or at least avoid getting benched).
💔 Benching
Benching is the dating world’s equivalent of being second string. It's when someone keeps you around for attention, texts you just enough to keep you interested—but has no intention of committing.
Sound familiar?
You haven’t heard from them in a while, and suddenly you get a “miss talking to you” text. You suggest coffee. They ghost your invite. You're not a priority—you’re on the bench.
📺 Example: In How I Met Your Mother (yes, I’m obsessed), there's an episode called Hooked where Ted is "on the hook" for a girl who never actually wants to date him. Classic benching.
🍞 Breadcrumbing
Breadcrumbing is when someone flirts and messages you just enough to keep you emotionally invested—but never actually follows through. They don’t want to meet. They don’t want to commit. They’re basically your digital tease.
This happened to me so many times when I was single, and I didn’t even know there was a term for it. Breadcrumbing often leads to...
🎭 Catfishing
If you’ve watched MTV’s Catfish, you already know: this is when someone pretends to be someone else online—using fake photos, bios, sometimes entire identities.
Catfishers typically avoid video calls, and their excuses are endless. If they refuse to FaceTime after a couple weeks of texting? Run.
🔍 Tip: If they’re real and truly interested, they’ll find a way to connect beyond a screen.
⛓️ Cuffing Season
Cuffing Season runs from November through February. Statistically, men are more likely to get into relationships during these colder, cozier months. Why? Holidays, nosy relatives, and the desire to Netflix and chill with someone who won’t judge your sock collection.
Warning: Cuffing Season often ends just before Valentine’s Day—also known as peak ghosting season.
👻 Ghosting
You’re chatting, flirting, maybe even dating. Then—poof—they’re gone. Unreachable. Unfollowed. Blocked. They’ve literally vanished without explanation.
Ghosting is one of the most cowardly ways to exit a relationship (or situationship), and sadly, it’s more common than we’d like to admit.
💬 Best advice: Don’t chase closure. If they could ghost you, they weren’t the one.
🧟♂️ Haunting
Even after you're happily married, they still lurk. Exes or flings who suddenly like your selfies or slide into your DMs out of nowhere? That’s haunting—and it’s real.
Some of my skeletons still poke me on Facebook (I still don’t understand poking) or DM me out of the blue. And sometimes, they want more. Um, no thanks—I’m good.
📘 Final Thoughts
Language evolves—and dating is no exception. As time goes on, new terms will pop up, but the underlying themes remain: emotional games, avoidance, and the desire for connection.
If you’re unsure whether you’re being ghosted, benched, or breadcrumbed, I’m here to help. Shoot me a note at val@valsbytes.com, and I’ll help decode your dating dilemma.