For the past few weeks, I've been mentioning cuffing season on social media and to my friends. It's not a surprise that most of you don't know what it is since it's a fairly new phrase. No worries, I'm here to save you from wracking your brain and sleepless nights. I heard this phrase a few years ago, right around the time I got engaged to The Comedian. I thought it was a phenomenon only related to engagements, but that's not entirely true. It really has to do with what this time of the year does to people. From November to February, men are 15% more likely to end up in a relationship.
What is cuffing season?
I can't think of why the word "cuff" was used to describe what's going on during the winter months. I wish maybe cuddling season caught on but whoever punned the phrase made it stick. Experts tell us this is something that has been going on for years, but now we can put a name to it.
Ask Men asked relationship expert, psychologist, and CEO of the matchmaking service, Lasting Connections, Sameera Sullivan, for some insight:
“Cuffing season is that period of time between fall and the dead of winter when people start looking for someone they can spend those long, frigid months with,” says Sullivan.
The season is all about bringing people together, and that includes keeping each other warm. I also think that some people want to avoid the dreaded question from their grandmother who always asks when they plan on getting married. Trust, I've been there. Unfortunately, now they are asking when we are planning to have kids. I just take a sip of wine and walk away.
It's hard to be alone during the winter. You see all of your friends buying presents for their significant others, and they all have a date for New Years. I can see how having someone by your side, even temporarily, is a quick fix.
Beware of serial cuffers
Don't start throwing away all of your granny panties yet. Some men and women are serial cuffers meaning they grab a lover for the season then conveniently break up with them around Valentine's Day. First, there's something about that day that means you're in it for the long haul and second, its right before Spring Break. Who wants to be tied down at the beach?
Beware of those guys who say, you're different and keep you at arm's length. Be sure to ask about their dating past to see where you stand. With the dying hook up culture, cuffing season is a way back to chivalry where people are spending more time with each other than their Tinder app. It could be the hot cocoa and the fireplace that's creating this change, but that sounds like a fantastic time to me.
How do I get cuffed?
The colder winter months are a perfect time for someone who is sick of casual dating to settle down. I always tell those that I'm counseling that first, you have to be in the right mindset before leaving the single scene behind. If you want to be in a relationship, picture yourself in a relationship, and act as if you are in one as well. Putting that mindset in the air will make it more likely for it to happen.
Also, understand what kind of partner you want. Print out this Dating Terms worksheet to help you narrow down to the five traits that you must have in a partner.
When you get that figured out, get on a website with more serious candidates. I may be biased, but Match.com is my personal favorite (maybe because that's where I met The Comedian). Or get out of your house and start socializing. The world has a funny way of putting things together when the timing is right.
If you need any guidance during cuffing season, feel free to contact me here. I will be more than happy to guide you on your way to happiness.
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