Bad Dating Habits and How to Fix Them

You’ve been on a few dates, and something’s just not clicking. You’re bringing your best self (or so you think), but you still can’t seem to get past the first or second date. Cue the terrible chick flicks (Christmas Prince, anyone?) and mint chocolate chip ice cream (yes, it’s still the best flavor).
Hate to break it to you, but... sometimes you are the problem.

Let’s talk about the most common bad dating habits—and how to kick them to the curb so you can finally find a relationship that sticks.

🚩 1. Being Too Available

I know you’re excited—he’s hot, you’re vibing, and he finally asked you out. But showing up the second he calls doesn’t leave room for anticipation. And yes, the chase matters.

Try this instead: If he asks to hang out on Friday, say, “I actually have something going on—how about Saturday?”
Now you’re showing that you have a life outside of dating, and that makes you way more appealing.

🚩 2. Not Acting Like You’re Girlfriend Material

Let me explain. If you’re known as the party girl, your place is a hot mess, and you curse like a sailor 24/7… it might be time for a little self-check.
Dating is kind of like an interview—you don’t want to fake it, but you should still put your best foot forward.

Funny story: The Comedian was never on time, but on our first few dates, he made a huge effort to be punctual because he knew I valued it. His mom later revealed his lateness was legendary—I had been bamboozled. But by then, I was in too deep. 😅

Moral of the story? Be the person you want to attract before getting into a relationship.

🚩 3. Being Too Picky

I’m all for having standards, but if you’re holding out for a Christian Grey fantasy, you might be waiting a while.

Make a list of your top 5 non-negotiables. These are the “must-haves” that truly matter to you—values, goals, lifestyle, etc. The rest? Let it go.
Need help? Download my [Dating Terms worksheet] to narrow it down.

🚩 4. Flakiness

This one’s a dealbreaker. Integrity matters. If you say you’re going to show up—show up. If something comes up, just send a quick text. It literally takes five seconds to say, “Hey, I’ve had a rough day. Can we reschedule?”

People remember how you treat their time. Flakiness is a red flag you’re not emotionally ready to date.
(If you're curious, I once dated a notorious flake. The full story’s here → link it up!)

🚩 5. Ignoring Your Insecurities

This one’s big. If you haven’t dealt with your insecurities—abandonment, body image, past trauma—they’ll creep into your dating life.

I’ve been there. I used to lie about my past and apologize constantly because I was insecure. You don’t have to carry shame for things that shaped you.

Do the work. Therapy, journaling, books—whatever helps you heal. Because when you love yourself, you stop choosing people who don’t.

💡 Final Thought

Dating isn’t just about meeting the right person. It’s about becoming someone who’s ready to receive love when it comes. When you’re grounded, self-aware, and committed to your own happiness, the right relationship shows up like magic.

Now go finish that ice cream and start fresh.

Men vs. Boys: The Difference is in the Delivery

I was having a conversation with a good friend yesterday about possibly moving to a new city—somewhere with more opportunities, more things to do, and maybe even better odds at finding love. My experience dating in Orlando has been… exhausting. I don’t know if it’s the city or the kind of men I attract, but I seem to keep finding what my friend calls “boys.”

About a month ago, I met someone in his 40s at a professional conference. He was established, confident, and surrounded by other like-minded adults who had their lives together. And that day, he made it clear—he wanted me. The whole experience opened my eyes to not only new opportunities, but also a new standard for how I should be treated.

Here’s the biggest difference:
👉🏽 Men know what they want and aren’t afraid to say it.
👉🏽 Boys want to play games.

Recently, I reconnected with someone I used to date (yes, I know… masochist tendencies). We hung out a couple of times, and he hit me with, “You’re amazing, we should get married.” And silly me—I thought he meant it.

Then this morning, I open Facebook and BAM—he’s in a relationship. Not with me, obviously. WTFreak?! Man up. If you’re seeing someone else, just say that. I promise I won’t be mad—I’m not that girl. I’ll respect you way more for your honesty than for hiding behind your relationship status like I wouldn’t find out.

If I have enough confidence as a woman to tell someone they’re not for me, then I expect the same integrity in return. Yes, I’m outspoken. Yes, I don’t tolerate BS. And yes, I speak my mind. But those are the very traits that build strong relationships. There’s no mystery here—I know that honesty is the foundation of something real. (Unless, of course, you’re keeping secrets because you’re planning to surprise me with jewelry. Then, carry on. 😏)

At the end of the day, the key to a great relationship is communication. Be real. Be clear. Be a man.

Hey Guys! This Is Tom: When Introducing Someone You're Dating Goes Awkwardly Wrong

I don’t know if I’m the only one who gets a surge of anxiety when introducing someone I’m dating to my friends — but it hits me every single time. Most of my friends think I’m dramatic for putting so much pressure on that moment, but I can’t help it. I genuinely care about everyone’s well-being and want harmony across the board.

Since I’ve never been especially close with my family, my friends are everything — they fill those emotional gaps and are often the first people I turn to when I need support. So yes, getting their stamp of approval on someone I’m seeing is super duper important.

A few months ago, a friend I used to date insisted on coming to visit me. I was hesitant — most of our conversations end in arguments — but because I’m annoyingly nice, I said yes. Coincidentally, one of my friends was having a birthday dinner that same weekend, and I didn’t want to miss it. So, I figured I’d just bring him along. Spoiler alert: I should’ve gone solo.

I picked him up from the train station. He practically leapt on me, and right then, I realized… OMG. I am so not into him like I used to be. I panicked a little inside but played it cool. I dropped him off at my apartment so I could finish up at work.

When I got back, he tried to kiss me again. Nope. I pushed him away gently, and we got ready for dinner. What I had forgotten — and this becomes important — is that he can’t hear out of one ear.

At the restaurant, I greeted everyone and waited for my best girlfriend, her husband, and another good friend to show up. Now, let me explain something: my best friend’s husband is very protective of me — think big brother vibes. When I introduce him to someone I’m dating, he usually doesn’t say much until he sees if they’re going to stick around. Smart man.

So we sit down… and “Tom” won’t stop talking. Like, at all. My friends try to ask him questions, but because of his hearing issue, he doesn’t catch them. Cue the awkward silence and confused glances.

I could feel the secondhand embarrassment radiating off my friends. I knew right then: I wasn’t going to live this night down. And spoiler again: I haven’t.

I’ll spare you the details of the rest of the night, but let’s just say I wasn’t exactly the kindest version of myself. It’s like my embarrassment turned into petty coldness. Not my proudest moment, but hey — sometimes your gut reaction is your loudest truth.

After that weekend, I made a new rule for myself: not everyone you’re dating needs to meet your friends right away. Sometimes, it’s better to give things time before merging worlds. If a guy’s not someone I can confidently bring around without stress, I’ll gladly sacrifice a couple nights out to avoid reliving The Tom Situation.