Finding the Right Fit: Why Office Environment Matters More Than You Think

Office Workers

Some of you know that earlier this year, I left my job to start a new role at a different company. I was genuinely excited—ready for a fresh opportunity and burned out from dealing with the owner at the screen printing company. The new position seemed promising. The owner of the jewelry company had read many of the same books I love—The Power of Now, The Secret—so I thought we’d be aligned in mindset and values.

Boy, was I wrong.

Sure, I get it. When you start somewhere new, you often have to prove yourself. You work your way up. That wasn’t the issue. What I wasn’t ready for was the toxic undercurrent I encountered. It was a small company, and with that came a very tight-knit (and not always kind) environment. The owner may have read the same books as me, but the way he lived was far from those teachings—especially when I saw his Facebook post ranting that “haters can keep hating.” That didn’t exactly scream “enlightened leader.”

Add to that an accounting manager who constantly criticized everyone—except her daughter, who also worked there—and the vibe became unbearable. By the end of the second month, I was already eyeing the door.

After finishing my 90 days, I stopped by my old company to run a few reports as a favor. Later that day, the VP approached me with an unexpected offer—he wanted me back, but in a new department. I hesitated at first, weighing the pros and cons. But the pay was better, and honestly, I had missed the camaraderie and laughter of my old team.

I said yes—and I’ve never looked back.

There’s something to be said for an environment that just fits. Somewhere where you’re surrounded by people who genuinely care and lift each other up. I’ve learned that yes, we should embrace opportunities for growth—but also know when something simply isn’t aligned. And when that happens, trust that another door is waiting to open… sometimes right where you least expect it.

Death to My 20s: A Farewell and a Fresh Start

It happened... my 30th birthday.

At work, we have this tradition: when someone has a birthday, their desk gets completely trashed. For mine, my coworkers went above and beyond—they held a funeral for my 20s. My VP laughed so hard, she cried. It was dramatic, hilarious, and oddly therapeutic.

Some people view turning 30 as a crisis point—a moment to reflect on all the dreams they had in their 20s and panic over why they haven’t come true yet. Marriage? Career? Kids? The checklist goes untouched for many, and the pressure sets in.

Me? I didn’t feel any different.

Sure, I took a moment to reminisce. In my early 20s, I thought I’d be married by now, thriving in a career I adored, maybe even with a kid or two. But that’s not where I am—and that’s okay. Because the truth is: I’m genuinely happy.

And that’s what matters.

Living fully in the now, embracing whatever comes your way—that’s the sweet spot. You can't control everything, but you can control your mindset, your choices, and your circle. I had a conversation not long ago with a friend’s brother who looked at me and said, “You created your life, didn’t you?” It stopped me in my tracks.

He was right.

Every decision, every pivot, every mindset shift—I crafted the life I’m living today. In my early 20s, I hit rock bottom. But even in that darkness, I told myself: I will not stay here. I will become the best version of me. And step by step, that’s exactly what I’ve done.

So, here's to the 30s. I know amazing things are ahead, and I’m ready to greet them all—wide-eyed, open-hearted, and fiercely me.

The Life Lessons Hidden in White Jeans

Call me nostalgic, but today I slipped on a pair of white jeans and was instantly transported back to middle school—11 years old, just trying to fit in. Back then, white jeans were the thing. The cool kids had them, and naturally, I wanted a pair too.

I didn’t grow up with much. My mom was… let’s just say, frugal. Getting anything name brand was a debate in our household—if it happened at all. So when I finally got a pair of white jeans, they felt like treasure. I couldn’t wait to wear them.

On my first day showing them off, I was in the lunchroom, chatting away, trying to play it cool—and then, bam. Chocolate milk. All. Over. My. Jeans. My lack of coordination betrayed me. I was mortified. I never wore those jeans again.

Fast forward to now: I’m still clumsy. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve tripped over my own feet or spilled coffee on my shirt. But the difference is—now I carry a Tide stick in my purse. Lesson learned.

That old saying—“If only I knew then what I know now”—has been echoing in my mind. But here’s the thing: if I hadn’t spilled the milk or gone through the heartbreaks and setbacks, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today.

I embrace my scars, even the invisible ones, because they’ve made me more compassionate, more self-aware, more me. And yes, if you looked closely at the photo—I may also have a slight obsession with shoes.

But who I am now? She’s walking confidently in white jeans—battle-tested, prepared, and unapologetically proud of every stain and story that got her here.

Is Divorce an Option?

Last night, I was browsing my Hulu account—because all of my shows had ended their season—and stumbled across Mistresses starring Alyssa Milano. I've been a fan of hers since Who's the Boss and Charmed, so I figured I’d give it a shot. I probably should’ve known what I was in for, considering the title.

What struck me wasn’t just the drama—it was the normalization of infidelity. Cheating, lying, betraying trust—it’s portrayed like just another storyline. And maybe that’s what got to me: how common it seems, how socially acceptable it’s become to cheat on your spouse.

In college, I took a History of Television class (I was a TV/Film Production major for a bit), and one thing that stuck with me is this: TV never leads culture—it reflects it. Society sets the tone, and television follows. The first interracial kiss, the first same-sex kiss—those didn’t happen on-screen until society had evolved enough to handle it without backlash.

So what does it say about us that we’re now comfortable with cheating being a staple of primetime TV?

I'm not naive. I've seen infidelity impact the lives of friends and family—people I love. And maybe it hits deeper for me because my own parents divorced when I was a teenager. That experience shaped how I viewed commitment. For years, I was a runner—serial dating, keeping things surface-level, afraid to go deep because deep meant vulnerable. And vulnerable meant the possibility of being left.

A few years ago, I made a conscious decision: If I was going to settle down, it would be once. I would take the time to become the best version of myself, and I’d choose someone who wanted to build a life with intention—someone who also saw marriage as something sacred, not disposable.

Then I heard this quote from Will Smith, and it stuck with me:

“Divorce can’t be an option – it’s really that simple. If you just remove the option… because, if you have the option, one day that person’s gonna make you wanna divorce.

That’s been a huge part of the success for she and I… We’re like, ‘Listen, we’re gonna be together one way or the other, so might as well try and be happy.’”

That changed everything for me. If you treat divorce as a backup plan, it becomes easier to walk away when things get hard. But if you remove the exit sign and commit to the long haul, you’re more likely to put in the work—together.

I understand some people say, “We just grew apart” or “It didn’t work out.” I’m not judging anyone’s journey. But I do believe that if you take your time—really take your time—to get to know yourself and your partner, you’ll make a more grounded, conscious choice. Maybe that’s the benefit of marrying a little later, once the fog of youth and fantasy has lifted and you really know what you need.

Maybe I’m in my own little world with this mindset. But then I ask:
Why even get married… if divorce is always an option?

It's that time... again

As a woman, I struggle with my ever-changing—umm—hormones. When it’s “that time of the month,” my emotions tend to go a little haywire. Normally, I like to pride myself on being cool and calm, so when I started to notice a pattern in my heightened sensitivity, I decided to pay closer attention.

This isn’t some groundbreaking discovery—Eckhart Tolle even addresses it in The Power of Now. He talks about how important it is for women, in particular, to remain grounded in the present moment during this time. I found that oddly comforting. While the point of the book is to stay in the “now” and observe your state of being, when hormones are running the show, it feels like my mind is running a mile a minute.

I think the first time I realized I might be going a little off was a few months ago, during an argument with a friend. Afterward, I asked myself, Why did that make me so upset? Then, like clockwork, the same topic came up the next month—and boom, same reaction. That’s when it hit me. I connected the dots. Hello, PMS.

I didn’t want to believe that my physiology could hijack my peace, but I had to admit it: it does.

Even today, I was talking to my boyfriend—we’ll call him The Comedian—and for some reason, I convinced myself he was upset with me. It wasn’t until after the conversation that I had to laugh at myself. Girl, what are you doing? Then it dawned on me... yep, that time is just around the corner.

Sometimes, we forget that we’re not entirely in control of our emotional responses. Some women might feel it more intensely than others, but for many of us, this monthly rollercoaster is real. Yes, I get cranky—especially if I’m rubbed the wrong way in the morning. It can set my entire day off course.

But there’s hope. I recently rewatched The Secret, and it reminded me that even if your day starts off rough, you have the power to shift your emotions—even just a little. That small shift can change your entire perspective.

Who said being a woman was easy? We deal with hormones, society’s expectations, and still show up like nothing’s happening. So, the next time you're feeling like you're spiraling for no reason—check the calendar, take a deep breath, and know you're not alone.

Making Half the Attempt isn't Enough

Yesterday, I went to Sunday service as part of our weekly ritual, and the sermon really hit home. The message was all about “teaching an old dog new tricks.” It reminded me how easy it is to get caught up in our routines and become complacent. We stop asking ourselves what we can do to grow, to improve, to become better. But being a good Christian—and a good human—means striving to be the best version of ourselves every day.

We're not perfect, and we’re not meant to be, but that doesn't mean we stop trying.

One line that has always stuck with me came from a very unlikely source: my old “internship” at a record label in my early 20s. That experience was one of the most difficult times in my life—full of deceit, manipulation, and pressure to do things I was never meant to do. But the man who put me through all that used to say one thing over and over: “Don’t do things half-ass.” As strange as it sounds, that phrase became a sort of mantra for me.

Why? Because deep down, we all know when we’re not giving our best. When you’re just checking off boxes at work, when you’re telling someone half the truth, when you’re doing just enough to say you did it—you feel it in your gut. That’s not effort. That’s avoidance.

I was also recently at an event featuring a panel of men who had reached the peak of their careers—executives from places like Red Lobster and Walt Disney World. One of them, the Brand Manager at Red Lobster, said something that echoed the same sentiment: “If you want to grow in your career, do something outside of your job description.” Your job description is just a guideline. It’s what you do beyond that that sets you apart.

The pastor even told a story about his dog—how he always knew when his dog had done something wrong because it would show guilt and shame without a word being said. That struck me. We’re the same way. When we know we’re phoning it in, we feel that guilt in our spirit.

Doing the bare minimum might get you by, but it won’t make you better. True growth comes from doing more than what’s expected—being honest with yourself and showing up fully.

So here’s my takeaway: If you want to level up—spiritually, professionally, or personally—you have to give more than half the effort. You have to show up with your whole heart. Anything less, and you’re only cheating yourself.

Where did all of this positive thinking come from...

I believe change starts with a realization—a moment where you admit to yourself that something needs to shift. I’ve always considered myself a positive thinker, but looking back to about 8 or 9 months ago, I wasn’t truly content. Sure, I had great friends, a solid support system, and a social calendar that kept me busy, but something was missing.

Since college, I’ve dealt with bouts of depression. I always refused medication, telling myself I could push through it—and for the most part, I did. But every now and then, a trigger would send me spiraling. I remember days when I couldn’t get out of bed, when the darkness felt easier than facing the world, and all the painful things that came with it.

I don’t quite remember the exact order of events that led to my transformation, but I know it started with a rejection. I had been casually dating someone, and when it didn’t work out, I unraveled. It wasn’t the guy or the relationship that broke me—it was the feeling of abandonment. It cracked open wounds that had been quietly building.

After crying uncontrollably and struggling just to breathe, I told myself, I never want to feel this way again.

Shortly after, I went to a meeting and watched the movie The Secret. That changed everything. I started seeing the connection between my thoughts and my emotional well-being. Negative thinking had gotten me to that dark place—and I made the decision to start living differently.

I made a vision board. I wrote affirmations on index cards and kept them by my bed—reminders of the life I wanted to create. One of the cards said I wanted a long-term, prosperous relationship. Just a day or two later, I heard from someone I had dated two years prior who had made a big impact on me. The most amazing part? He, too, had read The Secret and The Power of Now. We reconnected over our shared journey toward positive thinking—and those conversations continue to this day. He is now my boyfriend of six months, and I am hopelessly in love.

A few months later, I started going to church with him. What surprised me most was how much the Bible mirrored the same ideals I had been learning. Negative thoughts? That’s the enemy trying to steal your joy. The Bible teaches gratitude, joy, and faithful thinking. I realized I could ground my positivity in something even deeper—faith.

Now, I strive to be a light for others. Whether we’re close or not, I want my energy to inspire others to believe in better days. As the amazing Janet Perez Eckles once said, “Let your purpose be to inspire.” That’s what I aim to do.

I know that as long as I stay on this path—rooted in positivity, grounded in faith—I won’t ever return to that dark place. And if I can help someone else along the way, then that, to me, is everything.

Bruised Egos: The Real Reason We Lose Our Minds

It’s amazing how one blog post can spark so many conversations. Over the last week, I’ve come to a realization: our ego is at the root of almost all of our emotional chaos.

Ever wonder why someone or something affected you so deeply? It’s because they bruised your ego.

Think about it—why do women often say we dress for other women? Because we know we’re the most critical of each other, and that validation gives our ego a boost. Why do really insecure people overreact to the smallest things? Because deep down, they want their ego to be acknowledged, even if it’s through conflict. People-pleasing? Same story—it’s a way to feel needed, which strokes the ego.

But what if, just for one day, you decided your ego didn’t matter?

The truth is, only you are responsible for your happiness. If you don’t realize that, you’ll constantly chase happiness in others—and be perpetually disappointed. Humans are inherently selfish. We don’t always mean to be, but we tend to make decisions that protect our own peace. That guy who didn’t call you back? Maybe he was just tired of being nagged. That friend you bailed on? Maybe you couldn’t face another convo about her breakup. It’s not always malicious—it’s just ego management.

After reading a few books and following thinkers like Kyle Cease (yes, the comedian turned motivational speaker), I’ve learned that many of my emotional decisions were really just attempts to protect or inflate my ego. I’ve lived a long life of people-pleasing. I wanted to be the strong one—the one who never needed help, the one who could take on anything. Why? Because being seen that way made me feel worthy. It gave me purpose. It boosted my ego.

But here’s the thing: that way of living is exhausting. It’s not sustainable, and honestly, it keeps you from living in the present.

Letting go of your ego isn’t easy. It takes awareness and practice. But next time you feel that sting—that emotional punch to the gut—pause. Ask yourself: Is this really about them, or is it about how I want to be seen?

Try choosing a response that isn’t rooted in protecting your pride. You might be surprised how freeing it feels to let go.

Remember When...

Don’t you remember when bills didn’t need paying and you could run barefoot through the backyard without a care in the world? When no one you loved was going through a divorce or grieving an unimaginable loss? When no one had ever harmed you—and even a butterfly landing on your shoulder felt like magic?

Remember when you’d fall asleep on the couch watching My Little Pony, only to wake up in your dad’s arms as he carried you to bed? Or when he gave you a high five for finally hitting the ball off the tee? Those were the days when life was just playtime—when Barbie and Ken were off getting married, riding their pink Corvette through your living room, and the biggest conflict was telling your sister it was your turn on the Nintendo.

But grown-up reality? It’s darker. Heavier. It can leave you feeling empty or overwhelmed, wondering Is this really it? Life becomes a series of heartbreaks, unpaid bills, funerals, cruel words, and people who disappoint. It’s easy to lose that childlike light we once carried so freely.

But here’s the truth: You don’t have to just “remember when.”

You can still be that person—the one full of wonder, joy, and hope. Yes, life leaves its bruises. The world breaks us open in ways we never asked for. But we are not powerless. Just like we once got up with scabbed knees and kept running, we can still heal and keep going.

Pray. Breathe. Laugh. Keep moving forward.

Live your life in such a way that you don’t have to cling to memories of “when.”
Because when can be right now.

Why Does It Matter? A Reflection on Love, Ego, and Insecurity

Being in a relationship like the one I’m in now has opened my mind to things I would have never explored while single. It’s such a strange feeling. When I was single, if a guy dismissed me, my ego would kick in and I’d think, “He has no idea what he’s missing.” I knew what I brought to the table—smart, funny, independent, confident. Why wouldn’t someone want that?

But now that I’m in an amazing relationship, my insecurities have started to bubble up in ways they never did before. When you’re single, it’s easy to brush things off because there’s always another adventure, another guy, another distraction. But in a committed relationship—when everything is going great—that’s when the deeper questions creep in: Is it enough? Am I enough?

The truth is, of course it’s enough. He’s with you because you’re worthy. You always were.

I talk to friends all the time about their insecurities. When I’m on the outside looking in, I find myself asking, Why does it matter? So what if he hasn’t answered your text or liked your post within seconds? He might be busy. If at the end of the day he’s showing up, being present, and making you feel loved—that’s what matters. But I get it. In relationships, especially for fiercely independent women, vulnerability can feel foreign—even uncomfortable.

When you’ve been relying on yourself for everything—your time, your space, your energy—sharing your world with someone else can be hard. And letting go of control? Even harder.

Last week, I had a vulnerable moment that challenged me deeply. I’m a perfectionist, and when I feel like I’m not “perfect,” it bruises my ego. Looking at yourself honestly is tough. It’s easier to give advice to someone else than to deal with your own emotions and sit in the discomfort.

Luckily, my boyfriend and I made the decision early on to keep God at the center of our relationship. And not to preach, but that decision grounds me. When I remember that I am already perfect as God intended me to be, it becomes easier to embrace love, flaws and all. During that moment of doubt, I realized it was my ego getting in the way. A distraction. A tactic to distort what’s real. Love is meant to be joyful. Don’t let negativity, insecurity, or pride cloud your view.

I once heard a comedian joke, “If anyone ruins a relationship, it’s the woman.” I hate that stereotype—but I understand where it comes from. Sometimes, women overthink things because we crave connection and clarity, while men operate with simple intentions. If they want you, they’ll make it clear. They won’t play games.

So when you catch yourself spiraling—second-guessing, analyzing, overreacting—stop and ask: Why does it matter? If the love is real and you’re both showing up for each other, trust it. Trust Him. Trust you.