Is Divorce an Option?

Last night, I was browsing my Hulu account—because all of my shows had ended their season—and stumbled across Mistresses starring Alyssa Milano. I've been a fan of hers since Who's the Boss and Charmed, so I figured I’d give it a shot. I probably should’ve known what I was in for, considering the title.

What struck me wasn’t just the drama—it was the normalization of infidelity. Cheating, lying, betraying trust—it’s portrayed like just another storyline. And maybe that’s what got to me: how common it seems, how socially acceptable it’s become to cheat on your spouse.

In college, I took a History of Television class (I was a TV/Film Production major for a bit), and one thing that stuck with me is this: TV never leads culture—it reflects it. Society sets the tone, and television follows. The first interracial kiss, the first same-sex kiss—those didn’t happen on-screen until society had evolved enough to handle it without backlash.

So what does it say about us that we’re now comfortable with cheating being a staple of primetime TV?

I'm not naive. I've seen infidelity impact the lives of friends and family—people I love. And maybe it hits deeper for me because my own parents divorced when I was a teenager. That experience shaped how I viewed commitment. For years, I was a runner—serial dating, keeping things surface-level, afraid to go deep because deep meant vulnerable. And vulnerable meant the possibility of being left.

A few years ago, I made a conscious decision: If I was going to settle down, it would be once. I would take the time to become the best version of myself, and I’d choose someone who wanted to build a life with intention—someone who also saw marriage as something sacred, not disposable.

Then I heard this quote from Will Smith, and it stuck with me:

“Divorce can’t be an option – it’s really that simple. If you just remove the option… because, if you have the option, one day that person’s gonna make you wanna divorce.

That’s been a huge part of the success for she and I… We’re like, ‘Listen, we’re gonna be together one way or the other, so might as well try and be happy.’”

That changed everything for me. If you treat divorce as a backup plan, it becomes easier to walk away when things get hard. But if you remove the exit sign and commit to the long haul, you’re more likely to put in the work—together.

I understand some people say, “We just grew apart” or “It didn’t work out.” I’m not judging anyone’s journey. But I do believe that if you take your time—really take your time—to get to know yourself and your partner, you’ll make a more grounded, conscious choice. Maybe that’s the benefit of marrying a little later, once the fog of youth and fantasy has lifted and you really know what you need.

Maybe I’m in my own little world with this mindset. But then I ask:
Why even get married… if divorce is always an option?