My Own Happiness

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’m a quote lover. It’s not unusual for me to throw one into a conversation, especially when the topic turns to inner peace or finding happiness. This quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson really resonates with me because years ago, I decided who I wanted to be.

At a recent book club meeting, we got into a passionate discussion about happiness—sparked by our selection, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. We talked about how easy it is to fall into a rut after going through trauma or loss. And somewhere in the middle of the conversation, I found myself saying something I truly believe:

“It’s not what you’ve been through that makes you who you are—it’s how you handle it.”

I stand by that. I’m a firm believer that only you can change yourself. If you want things to be different in your life, it starts with your mindset. That’s the power of positive thinking. Our brains are incredible—they can flip our mood with a single thought.

As humans, it’s tempting to blame our jobs, our partners, or our circumstances for our unhappiness. But the truth is, our well-being starts and ends with us. Entrepreneurs succeed because they already believe in the vision they’re chasing. People who feel blessed often surround themselves with love, practice gratitude, and create a life filled with intention.

I know it might sound too simple, but I challenge you to try it: the next time a negative thought sneaks into your mind, brush it away. Replace it with something positive. Just for a day. You might be surprised at how quickly your mindset shifts—and how much lighter you feel.

Let me know how it goes. I’d love to hear what you discover.

Bruised Egos: The Real Reason We Lose Our Minds

It’s amazing how one blog post can spark so many conversations. Over the last week, I’ve come to a realization: our ego is at the root of almost all of our emotional chaos.

Ever wonder why someone or something affected you so deeply? It’s because they bruised your ego.

Think about it—why do women often say we dress for other women? Because we know we’re the most critical of each other, and that validation gives our ego a boost. Why do really insecure people overreact to the smallest things? Because deep down, they want their ego to be acknowledged, even if it’s through conflict. People-pleasing? Same story—it’s a way to feel needed, which strokes the ego.

But what if, just for one day, you decided your ego didn’t matter?

The truth is, only you are responsible for your happiness. If you don’t realize that, you’ll constantly chase happiness in others—and be perpetually disappointed. Humans are inherently selfish. We don’t always mean to be, but we tend to make decisions that protect our own peace. That guy who didn’t call you back? Maybe he was just tired of being nagged. That friend you bailed on? Maybe you couldn’t face another convo about her breakup. It’s not always malicious—it’s just ego management.

After reading a few books and following thinkers like Kyle Cease (yes, the comedian turned motivational speaker), I’ve learned that many of my emotional decisions were really just attempts to protect or inflate my ego. I’ve lived a long life of people-pleasing. I wanted to be the strong one—the one who never needed help, the one who could take on anything. Why? Because being seen that way made me feel worthy. It gave me purpose. It boosted my ego.

But here’s the thing: that way of living is exhausting. It’s not sustainable, and honestly, it keeps you from living in the present.

Letting go of your ego isn’t easy. It takes awareness and practice. But next time you feel that sting—that emotional punch to the gut—pause. Ask yourself: Is this really about them, or is it about how I want to be seen?

Try choosing a response that isn’t rooted in protecting your pride. You might be surprised how freeing it feels to let go.