5 Steps on Flirting at the Bar


I love these wedding pictures of the Comedian and I from New York.  There were way too many props for the photo booths and goodies given out on the dance floor.  Definitely a time I will remember for the rest of my life, but I digress.  We're here to give you tips, tips for the ladies.  I know it might be intimidating but let me hold your hand through this process.  Don't forget to be yourself and have fun! Yes, normally, a bar is not a great place to meet a significant other, however, you never know.  Why jeopardize an opportunity when it presents itself?  As a woman, the social stigma is to allow the guy pursue you, however, if someone catches your eye why not make yourself available to be pursued.

1.  Take a quick glance

Remember, most men find hitting on a woman intimidating especially when she is out with her girlfriends.  If you catch someone looking at you and he tickles your fancy, give him a quick smile then turn your head back to your friends and casually continue talking.  The test is the second glance.  If you catch him looking at you again, look at him, bat your flirting eyelashes, and smile again.

2.  Divide and Conquer

You must separate yourself from your friends.  Let them know someone caught your eye and you are going to give him the opportunity to speak to you.  Just in case something wrong happens, they know where you went.  If the guy is interested, he will approach you.  By leaving your friends, you made the

5 Steps on Flirting at the Bar photo

situation less intimidating.  It might be hard to fathom but a group of women can be scary.

3.  OMG!  He's coming over?!

When he does approach you, just say “hi, how are you?”  Don’t come on too strong by starting your whole life story.  You don’t want to scare this guy off.  He will continue the conversation and if he is truly interested in getting to know you, he will start asking questions about you.

4.  Let the drinks start rollin' in

If you hit it off in conversation, he will more than likely offer to buy you a drink.  If he does, accept it but do keep on an eye on that drink but keep your drink minimum to 2 or 3 at most depending on your tolerance.  You don’t want to get drunk and do things you might regret.  Drunk flirting can get you in situations you might not be ready for.  You don't want to accidentally tell him about the time you got in trouble for a hit and run right off the bat.  As my friend Los says,

"Only release a little crazy at a time."

Food & Drink

5.  To date or not to date? 

There is a possibility this guy might become inappropriate.  If he makes a sexual reference right off the bat, just tell him it was nice to meet him and go back to your friends.  Remember, you are flirting in a bar.  You are the one in power of the conversation.  If he is truly interested in getting to know you, he will not bring up sex the first time you meet.

Finally, if the vibe is great, exchange numbers and go back to your friends.  Don’t forget the real reason you went to the bar, to spend time with the people who will love you no matter what.  So sashay your way back to your cooing friends and fill them in on the juicy information.