5 Steps on Flirting at the Bar

I love these wedding pictures of the Comedian and me from New York. Between the wild props in the photo booths and goodies flying on the dance floor, it was a night to remember. But I digress—we’re here for flirting tips. Specifically, for the ladies. 👠💋

Let’s be real: bars aren’t exactly known for producing lasting love stories, but hey—you never know. Why pass up an opportunity when it presents itself? Society says men should make the first move, but if someone catches your eye, why not make yourself available to be pursued?

Here’s your five-step game plan:

1. Take the First Glance (Then Look Away)

Most men are terrified to approach a woman—especially when she’s with her squad. If someone catches your eye and gets your interest, flash a quick smile, then turn back to your friends like it’s no big deal.

The trick is in the second glance. If you catch him looking again, look back, give a little eyelash flutter, and smile once more. You’ve just opened the door.

2. Divide and Conquer

Now it’s time to separate from the group. Let your friends know you’re making yourself available in case anything goes sideways (safety first). Standing alone makes it easier for him to approach without feeling like he’s entering the lion’s den.

Fun fact: a group of women can be intimidating as hell.

Legs by pennuja

3. OMG, He’s Walking Over!

When he makes his move, keep it cool. Greet him with a casual, “Hi, how are you?” and resist the urge to overshare. Save the life story for later. If he’s genuinely interested, he’ll take the lead and ask questions to keep the convo flowing.

4. Let the Drinks Roll In—But Set Limits

If things are going well, he may offer to buy you a drink. Accept it (gracefully) but always keep an eye on your glass. Limit yourself to 2–3 drinks, depending on your tolerance. Drunk flirting is dangerous territory—you don’t want to overshare that time you got in trouble for a hit-and-run. (Yikes.)

As my friend Los wisely says:

“Only release a little crazy at a time.”

5. To Date or Not to Date?

Now, here’s the moment of truth. If he drops a sexual innuendo early on, that’s your cue to exit. “It was nice meeting you,” and head back to your girls. You’re at a bar, yes—but you’re still in control.

If he keeps it respectful and the vibe is right, exchange numbers. Then? Sashay back to your friends and debrief like the queen you are. 👑

And remember—flirting is fun, but friendship is the reason you went out in the first place. So enjoy your people, spill the tea, and let the night play out.