Wedding Planning is for the Birds

Val&Gio (11)

If anyone really knows me, they know one thing for sure: I sincerely don’t like being the center of attention. I’d much rather mingle through the crowd, getting to know people one-on-one. Honestly, I turn beet red every time someone sings “Happy Birthday” to me.

So what does that say about my experience becoming a bride?
Let’s just say… it’s been a ride.

Every time someone asks, “So how’s wedding planning going?” I feel a wave of anxiety. Don’t get me wrong—I’m a hustler. I work in operations for a living! I get stuff done. And yes, almost everything is already planned: venue booked, dress picked, details organized. All that’s left is the wedding cake, bridesmaids’ dresses, and a few tiny odds and ends.

But what’s been keeping me up at night isn’t the timeline—it’s the budget.

I’ve always been good at saving, but this kind of expense? It’s on another level. Our parents have helped out tremendously (thank you, thank you), but let’s be real: weddings are expensive. I didn’t realize flowers cost that much until I saved $100 by removing one rose from each centerpiece. One. Single. Rose. INSANE.

If I had all the money in the world, I’d cover the whole room in florals, hire flamenco dancers, and throw in a photo booth with props for days. But we’re just two middle-class Americans trying to make magic happen on a not-so-magical budget. And honestly? That’s okay.

downtown orlando, lake eola, engagement, photos

People keep telling me, “Just enjoy the process!” And I try. I really do. I love planning parties. I love organizing. But I also like knowing I can afford what I’m putting together. I think some people stress over the details because they want to please everyone. They want everything to be perfect. But I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that nothing ever goes exactly as planned. And that's not the point anyway.

Luckily, we've been blessed by generous friends and family doing us favors. That has meant everything. Now, my next task is building the wedding day timeline. Who knew every single detail needed to be mapped out? (Thanks, bridezillas. You've raised the bar for those of us just trying to keep it cool.)

On a brighter note—we got some of our engagement photos back! They turned out so sweet. Go ahead, take a peek and smile with us.

Unnecessary Advice: When a Friend Crosses the Line

Last night, I went out with a couple of friends—one of whom I’ve known for quite a while. During our conversation, my current engagement came up. This friend, like my fiancé, holds more conservative views about friendships and boundaries.

The tension began when I referenced his past behavior—specifically, a few moments when he was belligerent. He didn’t appreciate that I shared those examples in front of others. As a schoolteacher, he felt those stories reflected poorly on him. He asked me to be more discreet around people he didn’t know well. I understood, apologized, and took his request seriously.

But then the conversation took a turn.

He began offering me relationship advice—advice I hadn’t asked for. He told me I shouldn’t be so open with my fiancé about my “questionable past,” referencing things I’ve written about in my blogs. He said, “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

I disagreed. Strongly.

To me, honesty builds trust. I’d rather be sincere and open now than have my partner find out something later and feel betrayed. That kind of dishonesty can wreck a relationship far more than the truth ever could.

We went back and forth for two hours.

He insisted I wasn’t listening. But I was—I just didn’t agree. I’m more liberal in my communication style. My relationship has weathered both lows and highs. We’ve grown because of our openness. So when he generalized all relationships as being “the same,” I pushed back again.

Not all relationships are the same.

Yes, we all have goals, and yes, we might face similar situations. But how we navigate them? That’s unique. Sometimes past conversations surface through direct questions. Other times, they come up organically. Maybe he read something I wrote. Maybe I asked. Maybe he did.

The point is: I didn’t ask to dissect my relationship. I didn’t ask for advice. And honestly, his feedback felt more like a lecture than a conversation.

I finally told him that certain things within my relationship are private. He doesn’t know the full picture. He has no right to advise me on something he doesn’t understand—especially when, by his own admission, he struggles to maintain relationships himself.

Yes, I can be stubborn—but I also listen. I’m not above asking questions or seeking guidance when needed. But don’t force your opinion on me and expect me to parrot it back like a student. Don’t change your stance mid-point just to win a debate.

I get it.
I just don’t agree.

If I ever need advice, I’ll ask. But I won’t ask a professional swimmer how to play football.

Have you ever received unwanted relationship advice from a friend? How did you handle it? Share your thoughts in the comments.