In My Head

I’m starting to get used to this non-scheduled style of blogging. I only seem to write when inspiration squeezes into a rare free moment in my overbooked life. Sigh. But hey, I created this life, so I keep on truckin’.

Lately, I’ve noticed these sudden waves of emotion hitting me—like clockwork—every month. It’s like I can feel everything more deeply, more urgently, and I honestly don’t know what to do with it. I get irritated quickly. I need space. And yet, people rush in, trying to fix me or make it better. But the truth is, nothing is really wrong. There’s just this amplified version of myself that I have to ride out until the volume turns down again.

I remember reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, where he talks about how women, during this time, aren’t quite themselves. That struck a chord. Because in those moments, I don’t feel like myself. I want to be present. I want to find peace. But sometimes my emotions are on a rollercoaster I didn’t agree to ride. And the worst part? I don’t realize I’m reacting until the moment’s already passed.

Most of the time, I talk myself off the ledge silently—in my head. I guess that’s where the phrase comes from. Being “in your head.” It’s a place I know well. Maybe it’s the side effect of having a creative mind. We drift into our thoughts, our dreams, our storylines, and forget that reality is happening all around us.

That’s probably why I’ve never been good at taking pictures. I’m so in the moment—in my head—that I forget to capture it. There are so many beautiful memories from college I wish I had photos of. But nope, no snapshots. Just fragments in my mind. Luckily, the Comedian is a picture person. Problem solved.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is—pause. Take a breath. Get out of your head. See the moment for what it is. I'm mostly writing this as a reminder to myself, honestly. Blogging has always been my therapy, my grounding cord, my gentle nudge to grow. And growth starts with awareness.