Lies, Secrets, and the Woman: Observations From the Last Single Friend

In a strange twist of fate, I’ve gone from being “one of the guys” to the only single girl among a circle of girlfriends in relationships. And with that shift came a whole new lens—one that sees the dynamics of love, lies, and lessons unfold in real time.

One of the biggest observations?

The evolution of a man’s behavior when he’s with a woman he loves.

I’ve come to believe that if men intentionally stepped into the “married mindset”—and yes, I’m putting “married” in quotes here—even early in the relationship, they’d be far more successful.

At first, they all swear:

“I’ll never change. I’ll always be me.”

But slowly, under a woman’s influence (read: wisdom and boundaries), they start to learn what not to do—aka, what won’t fly if they want peace at home.

Case in point:

I was recently on a trip where I overheard several guys chatting. The topic?

“What are you actually going to tell your partner about this trip?”

Most of them admitted they’d leave out a few details.
Except one.
One man said he planned to tell his wife everything—because in past relationships, he’d learned the hard way:

Secrets don’t stay secret.
She’ll find out.

And he’s not wrong.

The longer you’re with someone—especially as a man—the more your partner learns your tells. The shifts in your voice, the twitch in your face, the weird pause in your sentence.

Men are not subtle.
They aren’t built to hide emotions well.
They wear them on their sleeves—and honestly, they’re terrible liars.

I say this lovingly. I still have great friendships with these guys. But from where I’m sitting—on the sidelines of their relationship dynamics—it’s all just... comical.

Why do they think their secrets won’t come out?
And let’s be honest—men gossip more than women, but that’s a topic for another blog.

If (or when) their significant others find out what really happened?
Let’s just say... it’s going to be couch city, population: them.