That Je Ne Sais Quoi

Over the past few weeks, I've been on several dates. And for some reason… the chemistry was painfully MIA. I find it fascinating — almost comical — that I only seem to click with the men who are completely wrong for me. You know the type: emotionally unavailable, a resume full of red flags, or a starting lineup of kids and baby mamas. Maybe I have a thing for the unattainable… or maybe I just lose interest when a guy is too available.

Truth be told, I want to like the men with good jobs, stable lives, and a five-year plan that doesn’t involve chaos. They’re not unattractive, just… blah. There’s no spark, no vibe, no je ne sais quoi. It’s frustrating because finding a man with both personality and relationship goals feels like hunting for a unicorn in a sea of gym selfies and “looking for fun” bios.

Sometimes I feel like Charlotte from Sex and the City — “I’ve been dating since I was fifteen, WHERE IS HE ALREADY?!”

Lately, I’m wondering if I’ve just gotten so used to the act of dating that I’ve forgotten how to be in a relationship. Most of my coupled-up friends didn’t go on a million dates — things just happened. Meanwhile, I’m stuck wondering if I’m dating out of genuine interest… or just to break up the monotony (and collect material for more bad date stories).

Either way, it’s exhausting. Is it too much to ask for a little chemistry and a little stability in one package?