Online Dating ≠ Relationship

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Let’s call this what it is: a rant.

I’ve had enough experiences with online dating to know—being on a dating site doesn’t automatically mean someone is looking for a relationship.

Let me rewind for a second. My first online dating experience happened during senior year of high school. My prom date backed out at the last minute (cue dramatic sobbing). Out of desperation, I logged into AOL, entered a chatroom, and met someone who quite literally came to my rescue. Two weeks later, he was my prom date.

The relationship? It went nowhere. But that wasn’t the point.

Since then, I’ve had little success turning online interactions into actual relationships. Sure, I dated someone I met through MySpace once—but he was a friend of a friend, so it doesn’t really count.

Now, almost two years out of my last serious relationship, I’ve started noticing something new: men on paid dating apps who have no real interest in being in a relationship.

Let me be clear—I’m not talking about Tinder or Bumble, where ambiguity is part of the experience. I’m talking about PAID sites. Platforms where people are supposedly investing time and money to find a meaningful connection.

Instead, here’s what I find:

  • Men fresh out of relationships who “think” they’re ready

  • Guys who are “too busy” but swear they want something serious

  • People who just want to “see what’s out there”

My PSA to the Online Dating World:

If you’re not emotionally available, don’t advertise yourself like you are.
Don’t say you’re ready for something real when you’re still unpacking your breakup or working 70-hour weeks with no room for connection.

Go on a free dating site if you want to dip your toe back into the pool without strings attached. At least then I know not to take it seriously.

This isn’t bitterness—it’s just honesty. Because false hope hurts, and misleading someone looking for love does nothing for your karma.

At the very least, be honest with yourself. And if you’re brave enough, be honest with the person on the other end of the screen.

Every action has a reaction—and in online dating, it could be a hurt heart on the other side of that chat bubble.