When is it too soon?

I constantly seek advice or answers from friends to hear their opinions on how their relationships came to be.  My friends vary from those who are either married, in relationships or are merely relationship spectators who make a lot of sense.  I was inspired today by one of my shows which I believe to hold a lot of truth about dating even if some of the episodes are starting to become dated.  But even more so, recently I have started to ask my friends, "when is it too soon to sleep with someone?"

I have received all kinds of answers.  It seems for women, its a time thing.  How long can you make him sweat before he has earned the right to sleep with you?  The most common answer is a month.  I'm not sure how reasonable that is considering the different kinds of circumstances.  Hundreds of questions come into my head playing devil's advocate such as,"what if I see this guy 10 times a week?  Am I allowed to sleep with him sooner?"  Or "what should I expect during this time in order to decide whether it will turn into anything?"  To justify an exact time has never made sense to me.  Maybe I am like most women to need an exact measurement to make my decision and to know it is the right thing.

From the male perspective, it is someone different.  One told me it has to do with how the guy looks at you in the eyes.  That's how you know its okay to maybe allow yourself to embark in the next level.  Another friend sounded more like my female friends but had definitely shortened the length of time to wait to 3 dates.  But in his defense, they have to be actual dates where two people are seriously trying to get to know eachother.

All in all, with all of my questioning, I still have not come to a calculated conclusion.  I just know if you sleep with someone on the first date, one might as well kiss the thought of a relationship goodbye (in most circumstances) and hello to a new friend with benefits (in some cases).  I could be wrong but it seems that when to have sex is as much as a gray area as the definition of love.