Serial Dating

After a breakup, have you ever found yourself just dating the next guy after the next and never getting anywhere?  I have.  It’s a routine I have been grown comfortable of since I was in college.  Back in the days of MiGente (a social networking site which was created for Latinos/Hispanics similar to Black Planet), I enjoyed the attention I received and met a lot of people during that point in my life.  I became so good at keeping them away from each other and I could juggle 3 to 5 men at a time, not messing up their names, where they came from or anything of that nature.  Towards the end of my college days, I was in my first significant long term relationship which ended pretty badly.  I never really went into a “mourning” period after; I just started dating all over again.  It was something I did to avoid really being by myself.  There is also a saying in Spanish that says, “quitar una clave con la otra, which means to just take the key out with another.  Get a rebound and get over it. After a time, I realized this is not necessarily a healthy way to heal from a past relationship; however, I just did it so conveniently.  I would talk to someone over the internet for a few weeks; meet them, maybe once or twice and then move on to the next.  I am not saying every meeting was successful or even that I slept with them.  Just the idea of getting the attention and having someone occupy my time is good enough.  Between my girlfriends, it started to become a joke.  The men I would meet would begin to have nicknames because they couldn’t keep track of who I was talking to.  I could list a few… snippy, Chicago, Boston, masochist…

It's mostly a matter of not getting close enough to someone, so they cannot hurt you.  I guess it is a control issue.  You get all the perks but none of the commitment.  As soon as someone might reject you, you can just move onto the next candidate.  My mother always told me its not good to have so many eggs in my basket.  I never listened.

I would not recommend serial dating to anyone who wants a commitment.  It is okay when you are young so you can date and find out what kind of person you want to end up with.  I found that dating does give me great material to write and for conversation but not much else.  I had committed myself from about a week or so ago; I will not make an effort to date in this fashion anymore.  I do want to settle down, and one cannot be taken seriously if you are not 100% committed to getting to know them and vice versa.   It did take me a very long time to get over my last relationship finally.  Now, its time for me, myself and I, the best relationship I could ever ask for.