The Friend Zone


by Cali4Beach Sometimes, I get phone calls from my guy friends who are still single with the one struggle they can't seem to shake, the Friend Zone. I have mentioned before that a woman knows what she wants within the first 30 seconds of meeting you. There is a possibility that she might change her mind and/or you'll grow on her but for the most part she has made her choice. Don't get me wrong, I know couples where the woman in the relationship wasn't really sold on her suitor at first. But that is always the exception, not the rule.

I think the main problem with being in the friend zone is the guy becomes infatuated with the idea of being with this person. There is some looming idea that there is a slight possibility that you should be together. Normally, I recognize the "Friend Zone" right away. I tell them to cut ties before they get hurt... but no, my friends all masochists. They want to continue the dream that one day, they will be with their "dream girl". I might come off as spiritual, however, I am a firm believer that when the right person comes into your life, you will know. It won't be a struggle, it will be just right. I have no problem with fighting for what's right but you can't change someone's opinion. They will have to WANT to change themselves. Don't force it.

There is a common trend with those who end up in the friend zone. They tend to be insecure and are afraid to make a move. I will be very honest and say that a woman likes a man who is a hunter, someone who isn't afraid to make a move. Also, when you end the "friendship" and they come back, then you're in control and can change the circumstances. Tell them that you want to be exclusive and if they honestly cannot do that, then they can go off onto their own path. You know the adage, if you love something, let it go and if it comes back, it's yours. But on your terms.

I am reminded by one particular person while writing this. I hate to see those close to me suffering through heartache. I know it might be cruel and hard but I suggest that if someone is dragging you along, cut the chord! I've done it. You'll live to be a much happier person. One problem with being in the friend zone and the person who has "friend zoned" you is taking advantage of your hospitality towards them, it's better to take that out of your life. It is negative and it is a poison. There is one commonality in women that seems to trend is that we don't know what we want until its right in front of us. Just because its nice to have someone around to listen to your problems and be your friend, its not fair if there are feelings involved. Someone will always get hurt. Trust me, cut off the relationship. Find some sort of solace within your friends who are just friends and continue to live life.

Again, the right person will come along. I am not saying that because I have found love, I am saying that because I have seen it happen time and time again. Remember, only you are responsible for your own happiness. If you are in a situation where you know you are driving yourself nuts, then get out. No need to continue to put salt on a wound that stays open.