I'm a Sapiosexual and I'm Not Afraid to Say It
/I’m a sucker for a good vocabulary word. When I stumbled across "sapiosexual", I honestly thought it sounded like something that belonged in the gutter. But to my delight, it’s actually quite the opposite.
According to Urban Dictionary, a sapiosexual is someone who finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.
The second I read that definition, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I finally found a title that made sense for how I’m wired. Sure, I love a hot guy like any other straight gal—but if he makes me feel like I’m too smart? Total turnoff.
Looks Fade, but Stupidity is Forever
I mentioned this in my post about the “Mimbo.” I once dated someone who asked me what “procrastination” meant. I kid you not.
He was attractive—until he spoke. The glow-up of the bar lights faded real fast. Needless to say, that relationship ended faster than you can say “spell check.”
When I met The Comedian, he hit me with words like behoove and hullabaloo. Yes, actual conversation starters. Our witty banter is still one of my favorite parts of our relationship. I mean, I’m a writer—words are my love language.
Sapiosexuality at Home
Even The Comedian has admitted that what turns him on most is our conversations—not what I’m wearing (although, to be fair, there are a few pairs of shoes that do catch his attention). But I digress. I love shoes, and I have the closet to prove it.
Since discovering the word “sapiosexual,” I’ve been using it like the word of the day. And I’m not alone.
According to AskMen, psychologist Dr. Nikki Martinez explains that sapiosexuals often form stronger marital bonds when intellectually stimulated. Another expert, Paul DePompo, Psy.D., warns that we also tend to lose interest quickly if we’re not challenged. Truth.
Signs You Might Be a Sapiosexual
You’d rather have a deep, late-night convo than casual sex.
You find vocabulary words like “juxtapose” kind of hot.
Someone becomes more attractive the more you learn how their brain works.
Bad grammar makes your skin crawl. (“Conversate” is not a word, friends. Say it with me: “converse.”)
You’re into someone way outside your usual type just because they challenge you intellectually.
Final Thoughts
Once you realize you’re a sapiosexual, you stop wasting time on empty conversations and surface-level attraction. You start looking for someone who can rock your mind—not just your world.
Don’t let looks be your only guide. Your perfect match might not be what you expected… but if they spark your brain, it could be everything.