#MeToo - My Story
Recent events have stirred up a feeling inside of me that I should finally share my story. Those who are close to me know what I have overcome in the past few decades. My initial plans were to write a full-length memoir detailing the horrors I experienced from 2002-2003. Disclaimer: Please do not read this if you are under the age of 18 or do not want to see anything regarding sexual assault.
I agree with Ashleigh Banfield when she said that "Grace" experienced a bad date with some distasteful decisions. The #MeToo movement has lifted an enormous weight off my shoulders. Women are now speaking up, without fear, and men are by their sides supporting them. Let me not forget the men because Kevin Spacey's sexual advancement was towards a young man.
I think I was so angered by "Grace's" telling of her encounter with Aziz Ansari because there were so many opportunities for her to leave. In my case, there wasn't.
I'm literally shaking while typing this as I get into the gory details of my experience.
I know that I am a bubbly, attractive person with large breasts. I get it. But that does not give anyone an invitation to make an inappropriate comment. I can no longer count on my hands how many times I have received an unwelcome advance. I have been sexually harassed three times in a workplace. Once by a manager, who eventually got fired because of his inappropriate remarks and advances, the second time I was let go because the person making the comments was the owner of the company claiming my sales were down while I was in the process of reporting him, and the third time, the person apologized to me publicly. You notice, all three of these times, I reported my accuser. I pray that you do the same.
I think that because of what happened to me, I became much stronger. The reason why things don't bother me very much is that I experienced my own hell for a year and a half. Nothing, I mean NOTHING, can be worse. Except maybe death, of course.
I want to preface this story with the notion that my father was not around during this time of my life. I made decisions to fill that void out of desperation. I do not condone my actions, however, its what made me who I am.
How we met
In 2002, I got in touch with a friend of mine from high school. I believe we hung out during Thanksgiving break. While at his house, I encountered someone I had a crush on in high school. At the time, I was experiencing a high. I was no longer the awkward girl in high school, so I attempted to pursue him. This person, who I shall keep anonymous, invited me to a house party.
I don't quite remember if it was the day after, but I met this person at a gas station so I could follow him to the home of the gathering. When I got there, an older man, Scott Campbell, opened the door and made some very snide remarks about my appearance which involved the size of my breasts. I laughed it off, and we went on to drink. More stuff happened that night, but I will leave that for the book.
I discovered the brother of my crush lived in Gainesville, Florida (Go Gators!), so we coordinated a ride back from Kissimmee to Gainesville together. A few months then passed, and I didn't hear anything from Scott. Honestly, I didn't think I would hear from him again.
Then my friend (the brother of the crush), let's call him Juan, told me Scott wanted to speak to me regarding how I could help him. At this time, Scott ran a record label named BDO (Bank Deposits Only) Records. I took the opportunity to start a career. I was 20 years old and extremely driven. I wanted to have something set for me before I left college.
After speaking to Scott on the phone, I discovered he needed assistance with writing a business plan, and he wanted me to look at what he had so far. I happily obliged and informed him I would be back in the Kissimmee area in a few weeks.
The Night of the Meeting
I went to Scott's house alone agreeing to meet him and my crush. Apparently, my crush, let's call him Dan, was doing graphic design for him. I was told to meet them in the RV that was parked in the backyard. At this point in my life, I trusted EVERYBODY. I was extremely naive and had ZERO street sense. I didn't think anything was going to happen.
As both Scott and Dan came into the trailer, I started to discuss the changes that I made to the business plan. Within a matter of moments, Dan pushed me towards the bed and held me down. Scott then proceeded to take off my pants. I started to scream, "No, stop, no!"
Dan stood over me and forced me to perform oral sex on him while Scott started to perform oral sex on me. I was helpless. Then Scott proceeded to say, "All girls love it when I go down on them." I started to squirm. I couldn't scream, I couldn't move. Dan was holding me down and Scott at my legs.
The next thing I heard was a condom. Scott then started to have sex with me. All I could think in my head was that I couldn't wait for this to be over so I could go home. After only a few short minutes, Scott was done. They both left the trailer, and I just laid there. Confused, dumbfounded, and helpless. I don't quite remember how I left the house, but I did.
The Next Year
The worst part of this story is that I didn't learn my lesson. Scott apologized for his actions and asked if I could work with him. Seeking the acceptance of an older man, I said "Yes" under one condition, that we never have sexual interactions again. He held up to his side of the deal.
Unfortunately, that year was one of sexual manipulation in that he would coax me to have sex with men for personal gain (the record label), verbal abuse, and situations most people would have never seen in their lives. It wasn't until I received counseling for my suicide attempt and depression that I found my way out of that abusive relationship. Though we were never romantically involved, I did what I could to make sure he never got upset.
There is so much more that happened in that one year that I really want to leave it for a full-length memoir.
You are probably wondering why I didn't leave Scott's name anonymous. I'm glad you asked. In 2015, Scott Campbell was arrested and sentenced to 15 years in prison for grand larceny. He manipulated $1 million out of women for his record label. You can read his story here. This man routinely victimized women to get what he wanted. At the time I met him, I was a broke college student. There wasn't any money to manipulate, but he did use me for other horrific things.
If you are a victim of sexual abuse, rape, sexual assault, please do report it to the police. Also, if you just want to talk through your situation, I am more than happy to listen.
I routinely say, your past does not define you, it's how you deal with it that makes you the person you are. Not many people know this story, and I choose to it to be that way because it does not define me. I am stronger for it, but I do not wish what happened to me on anyone else. I decided a long time ago who I wanted to be and I pursue that dream every day.